It’s the day after Cinco de Mayo. That means that, even if you aren’t Mexican or whether you could tell someone what Cinco de Mayo is, you are probably hung over. Tequila loves doing that to you.

It also means that it is the end of the school year. It is time to buckle down for finals, and as my mom says, ‘keep your nose to the grindstone.’ She knows me well enough to know that I need to do that but also well enough to know these words fall on deaf ears.

Here at the University of Massachusetts though, the end of the year means many things: hanging out on the hill, laying out in the sun, playing Frisbee, hanging out at hippie beach and of course, an abundance of parties.

Though to many students’ dismay, the police are also well aware of this. And they don’t like it one bit. Well, actually, they might ‘- but not for reasons that benefit the students.

This is why, as The Massachusetts Daily Collegian reported last week, the police are increasing the numbers on patrol for upcoming weekends.

Both the UMass Police Department and the Amherst police are stepping up their game to stop underage drinking and drinking in public. Watch out Hobart and Puffton. They are coming for you.

They are also putting police officers at bars to catch people with fake IDs. So watch out underage people, because they are finding you at both the bars and off-campus parties.

Obviously this will not hinder underage drinking one bit. It is against the law, sure, but sobriety will just not happen, especially when it’s the last weekend here.

It is true, I bet, that underage people should not be breaking the law no matter how dumb they think the drinking age is. They probably should not be holding false identification cards either, and it’s dumb to advocate that the police should just ignore the law because ‘it’s going to happen anyway.’

If someone is breaking the law, they are breaking the law. And while mercy is a gift, it is not unfair or unjust to face proper consequences. Saying that cops should go after and focus on underage people at a house party instead of other areas is just, well, needlessly wasteful.

If there were to be an increase in protection, it should happen in one area specifically, and that is on the roads. It is no surprise ‘- no matter how dumb everyone knows it is ‘- that people drive after drinking. The potential for death in an alcohol-related accident is so much greater than some dumb freshmen drinking too much.

And hell, if that happens, the chance of the cop stopping that moron from dying is slim to none, considering that’s the medics’ job. The chance of the cop saving an innocent driver is much greater if the cop were to pull over the drunk driver first.

Instead of sending officers into apartment complexes and on streets at night to find underage people and those who are stumbling around, they should focus on stopping it preemptively. By making people leave parties earlier and by checking out parking lots before students leave, the police will decrease the amount of potential drunken drivers’ along with the number of arrests.

From my own experiences last year, having two of my best friends get kicked out of the University because of an incident that happened on the last weekend of spring semester, the only suggestion I have is to not be dumb. No party is worth losing your credits for the semester and having to leave school.
If you don’t think that is going to happen, you have not been paying attention to the image repair and remodeling that is happening right now. The school has no qualms about getting rid of anyone who engages in the ‘party image’ it is trying so desperately to eliminate. UMass is attempting to enter a new phase in its life, and anyone who holds it back will be sent away.

Since this column will not change the way the police will go about it, the only thing you can do is be smart this weekend, especially if you are going to the townhouses and Hobart. Don’t broadcast your presence, don’t drink and drive and don’t be an idiot ‘- really.

No party is worth an arrest and possible suspension from school.
Well, maybe. Maybe not.

Ben Moriarty is a Collegian columnist. He can be reached at [email protected].