Scrolling Headlines:

UMass men’s basketball falters in the second half, falling to George Washington 83-67 Thursday -

February 24, 2017

UPDATE: SGA announces second and third artist for ‘Mullins Live!’ -

February 23, 2017

Divest UMass and STPEC host panel on building ‘solidarity economies’ in the Trump era -

February 23, 2017

UMass women’s basketball losing streak extends to 10 games after loss to URI -

February 23, 2017

Sixth annual Advocacy Day set to take place March 1 -

February 23, 2017

Panel discusses racial, sexual and psychological violence in response to art exhibit -

February 23, 2017

Judy Dixon enters final season with UMass tennis with simple message: One match at a time -

February 23, 2017

UMass baseball enduring early-season limitation in playing in New England -

February 23, 2017

Minutewomen softball begins season with cross-country travel, string of tournaments -

February 23, 2017

UMass baseball looks to bounce back from disappointing 2016 season -

February 23, 2017

UMass women’s lacrosse senior Hannah Murphy is Angela McMahon’s latest legend in the making -

February 23, 2017

UMass women’s lacrosse senior defenders accept leadership roles in quest for ninth consecutive Atlantic 10 Championship -

February 23, 2017

Kelsey McGovern rejoins UMass women’s lacrosse as an assistant coach after starring for Minutewomen -

February 23, 2017

UMass men’s lacrosse looks to continue improving throughout 2017 season -

February 23, 2017

Spring Sports Special Issue 2017 -

February 23, 2017

UMass men’s lacrosse defense relying on senior leadership with new faces in starting lineup -

February 23, 2017

UMass softball fills holes left by seniors with freshmen for 2017 -

February 23, 2017

The Hart of the Lineup -

February 23, 2017

UMass softball prepares for a long, busy season in 2017 -

February 23, 2017

UMass men’s lacrosse defenseman Tyler Weeks makes his way back from ACL injury -

February 23, 2017

UMass: better than it seems

The University of Massachusetts has never really been good enough for me. It is hard to explain. Since high school, I thought this random, giant collection of ugly concrete buildings in the middle of a valley – surrounded by farms and so far from Boston it might as well be New York State – was just some school I had to get through for four years. I planned on transferring not once, but close to three times. Once a false stereotype gets implanted, it is near impossible to develop a different impression. Still, after three and a half years, things assuredly changed.

As UMass was last on the list of schools I wanted to attend – I was sent here because of financial considerations instead of any desire to go to UMass – I was reluctant to accept the University for what it is. Now, I see it as a gem of a public university that deserves more praise, appreciation and funding than it currently gets. There are certainly many things that can be improved, but overall UMass has been the perfect fit – and I know I am not the only one whose college decision worked out in such a fashion.

My misconceptions about packed lectures, mean professors and TA-run classes were eventually all disproved. My political science professors, particularly Dean Robinson and Tatishe Nteta, were engaging and involved in incredibly interesting research. The general education requirements, though certainly tedious, have a worse reputation than they really deserve. Nothing can be taken away from the quality of the student body, and class discussions are almost always inspired. In fact, I have come to view UMass as everything I hoped a college could be; comprised of engaged students, taught by exciting professors and offering a diverse course load.

Then, I took two classes at Amherst College.

Suddenly, UMass professors did not look so great. None of them were like one Amherst professor whose feedback would match the length of his students’ papers. Hand in a three pager? Get back three pages of criticism, argument and congratulations. For both courses, the first day of class was spent as an advertisement. This is what we are going to cover; this is why I think it is important; this is why I think you should take my class. Both times, I was sold.

A history class in which I am currently enrolled is all of 100 students and will maybe fill to be 130 students. To make up for the “out of hand class size,” which must be of epic proportions for Amherst College, the class is going to be taught by three professors, each of whom will be responsible for a few discussion sections. I quickly arrived at the logical conclusion: all Amherst professors must be this good and all their classes must be this awesome.         

David Foster Wallace describes this kind of feeling with uncanny skill in a piece about a luxurious trip aboard a cruise ship. After spending 18 pages going into minute detail about absurd levels of pampering available on his ship, the Nadir, he throws it all away when another, newer, bigger ship pulls up next to his. Suddenly, this new ship, the Dreamward, puts everything about the Nadir to shame. It looks whiter than his impossibly bleached Nadir; there must be more pools; the towel guys must be more professional. He imagines the Dreamward’s food being even more varied and punctiliously prepared, its casino less depressing, its stage entertainment less cheesy…its pillow mints bigger. Standing in the Caribbean, Wallace could not help but feel this surge of envy. All of a sudden, nothing on his cruise liner is good enough, most shockingly because “they don’t even have Mr. Pibb; they foist Dr. Pepper on you with a maddeningly unapologetic shrug when any fool knows that Dr. Pepper is no substitute for Mr. Pibb, and it’s an absolute goddamned travesty, or – at best – extremely dissatisfying indeed.”

It is this comparison that is so striking and true. He had everything he needed on the Nadir, but once he saw the Dreamward, it all became inadequate. This is what it is like to sit in a class at Amherst College. In an instant, every single positive facet of UMass gets thrown out the window. It was not until – as the bored nerd I am – I reread David Foster Wallace’s Shipping Out: On the (nearly lethal) comforts of a luxury cruise when I placed my newfound misgivings about UMass in the trashcan where they belonged. I had come full circle: entered UMass with silly stereotypes about the school and then reformed them senior year. After rereading, the absurdity of it all became apparent. For all its faults, UMass ain’t that bad. I have been to the “promised land” of a liberal arts college and made it back alive. If nothing else, it beats being tens of thousands of dollars in debt.

Nick Milano is a Collegian columnist. He can be reached at

3 Responses to “UMass: better than it seems”
  1. Ed says:

    You need to look at cost (not price) and further at “opportunity cost” and not price.

    John Silber once told me that BU was cheaper than UMass — and I pinned him down and he had his figures right, the COST (not price) of BU was less. My guess is that the COST (not price) of Amherst is not that much more than UMass.

    First, the state pays about half the price of UMass. Who built the buildings, subsidized the bonds (tax free munis get lower interest), pays for the retirement/health benefits (a third of salary) and other stuff at UMass? Not to mention the 28% directly given by the state.

    So the actual “cost” of a UMass education is supposed to be at what the out-of-state rate is.

    Second, when you figure that no one really graduates from UMass in less than 5 years because you can’t get the classes (and grad students are here FOREVER because we can’t get the professors), you have to multiply your price by 125% because of the extra year. And then add in the lost earning potential for the fifth year as opportunity cost.

    You don’t have to do this very long before you find that the cost AND PRICE of UMass is no longer the cheapest around. Then throw in level of service, and I don’t mean faculty as much as everything else. Amherst/Hampshire/Smith/MHC students simply are treated better all ways around.

    No, the only thing you really learn at UMass (that you won’t learn at Amherst) is how to fight. How to advocate for yourself against an administration that simply doesn’t care about individual students. Of course, now with the Aggressively Controlling Troublemakers group meeting each Wednesday, that too will be precluded…

    UMass is not a bargan.

  2. B says:

    David Foster Wallace is a great source to quote from when discussing Amherst College: class of ’85, baby!

  3. Dear Sirs,
    Your prose is skilfully crafted and exhibits considerable character, and there are even traces of intelligence in what you say. Yet The person who wrote this editorial is without doubt the most ignorant person now alive on the planet; also without doubt he is an idiot, an idiot of the 33rd degree, and scion of an ancestral procession of idiots stretching back to the Missing Link. It puzzles me to understand the confounding logic of your arguments. Certainly you cannot deny that there is a wide range of course offerings at this fine university and quite a number of these courses are on the level of those at other nearby institutions, if not far superior. I find your assessment of this university shallow and pedantic.

    Also, addressing the commentary from “Ed”, I must inquire from whence such income would derive during one’s posited fifth year of studies, or first year of employment in this unforgiving economic clime. Many students choose to pursue an additional year of academic study as a result of the diverse array of areas of inquiry at the university.

    Adieu, adieu, adieu!

    Yours in journalism,
    Phineas Q. Scuttlebutt

Leave A Comment