Top 10 horror movies to watch alone on Valentine’s Day
Planning on being alone this Valentine’s Day? Seeking vengeance on an ex? Looking to just drown in your sorrows by watching coeds get mutilated for your viewing pleasure? Luckily for you (and your ex), you don’t even have to leave your living room to get your gory fix. Here are the top 10 horror movies that will surely leave your broken heart temporarily relieved by an evil smirk.
10. “My Bloody Valentine 3-D” – The only reason this made the list was the title. The movie is terrible. Don’t let the 3-D feature tease you into watching this movie. Slashers are inherently bad movies, but this one makes “Leprechaun: Back 2 tha Hood” look like “Gone With the Wind.”
9. “Prom Night” – Maybe you’re afraid of a psychopath following you and you’re friends out of pure sexual and morbid tension. Maybe you’re the sexually and morbidly tense one. Either way, that’s what this horrible movie is all about, and it just might be what you need to appease your deranged needs.
8. “Carrie” – If you’re considering taking someone out on a date, you probably shouldn’t end your night like Carrie did. However, if you’re thinking about it, try to resist and just watch this Stephen King classic instead.
7. “The Hitcher” – Don’t pick up hitchhikers – or should you? The latest version of the film features a love-struck couple heading off to a romantic spring break getaway, but are stopped short by a mysterious and disturbed man who calls himself John Ryder. The film is gripping, tense and almost believable. Watching a solid relationship be literally torn apart by a hitchhiker just might be what you need to feel better about your crappy or non-existent love life.
6. “Zombie Strippers” – If high school sexual education classes taught us anything, it’s that if you have sex, you will die. Starring Robert Englund and Jenna Jamison, this epic film is pretty self-explanatory. Stay away from the strip club on V-Day, the strippers could be looking for dollar bills and brains.
5. “Bride of Chucky” – Everyone’s favorite bad boy killer toy is brought back to life by a former human lover of his. After failed attempts to seduce her, he punishes her by inflicting the same curse on her that left his soul trapped in a creepy-looking toy. Talk about a bad romance…
4. “Vacancy” – Cheap hotels are classic hot spots for serious couples, and anyone who has ever been to one has feared being secretly watched, attacked and even murdered. Well, maybe not, but regardless, the thought of being with the love of your life and having the aforementioned nightmares actually happen is pretty terrifying. Instead of spending a night of romantic passion at the Knotty Pine Motel and potentially being slaughtered, put in this thriller and watch it happen to someone else.
3. “Swimfan” – Sketchy obsession via the Internet is hot right now. Facebook and MySpace took online creeping to a new level, but Madison from “Swimfan” was ahead of the social-media-stalking curve. With sick thoughts and an uncontrollable fixation on winning her idol’s heart, she proves that love knows no boundaries, including death.
2. “Psycho” – If you’re a guy and the love of your life happens to not be a young lady but rather your mother, what better way to spend your night than indulging in the most famous mother-son love story to hit the silver screen? Norman Bates just might’ve taken his obsession a bit too far in this classic horror movie.
1. “American Psycho” – Nothing says “I love you” like putting a nail gun to the head of your date. The movie was very well received by critics, which is pretty telling with its genre in mind. It explores the mind of a deranged womanizer who dates, and consequently brutally murders his love interests. Have a fear of commitment? This might just be the sick love story you’re looking for.
Justin Gagnon can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.