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September 26, 2016

Don’t ask girls to make you a sandwich

Recently, a male Facebook friend of mine became a fan of a Facebook page called “I’m the boy. You’re the girl. Make me a sandwich, or we don’t talk today.”

The first thing that came to my mind when it came up on my News Feed was, gee, how original, a sandwich joke. Then, I became furious. When I typed in “make me a sandwich” in the search box, I was disgusted by how many results I got. One of them is even titled “*backhand* MAKE ME A SANDWICH.” Furthermore, a good majority of the fans of it are girls and women.

What is wrong with our society when females are actually proclaiming themselves as “fans” of domestic abuse and taking on subservient roles to men?

Well, when I drew this to the attention of a few female friends, some agreed with me. But one of them actually said “Oh, lighten up. It’s just a joke.”

Really?

First of all, even if it was “just” a joke, all jokes are rooted in fundamental truths about society. That’s why they’re supposed to be “funny.” 

Secondly, last time I checked, women are not treated the same as men in this society, as much as people would like you to believe that they are treated equally.

Women are still paid less than men in almost all occupations. The only jobs that women earn more than men are – drum roll – modeling and prostitution.

The other night I went to see “The Vagina Monologues” here at the University of Massachusetts. What I saw was a display of women proclaiming themselves as independent and free, and proclaiming it loudly. It was awesome, and it showed just how powerful women can be when they stand up for their rights.

But how is it that there are still so many men out there that think that making jokes about women waiting on them and getting hit as a thank you are funny?

At my high school, sexist jokes were made all the time. Teachers sometimes even laughed at them. This is something that astounds me when I think about it now.

And if an intelligent girl responded, the joker would respond with a witless “Why are you even here, shouldn’t you be in the kitchen?” Or just another request for a sandwich.

The same dynamic is going on in these Facebook groups. When a female responds in the group, guess what? She gets the same dumb responses such as: “You have a computer in your kitchen?” Wow, so clever, guys.

And when one girl dared to make a similar, reversed joke in response, the guys in the group started insulting her, and not about her intelligence, not about her personality, but they insulted her on her appearance. Because that’s the most important thing about a woman.

Forgot that. Next, she was called a lesbian. Because only lesbians stand up for their rights as human beings. I forgot about that one, too.

Feminist backlash has been going on for far too long. And it seems like too many women have taken it to heart. While I identify myself as a feminist, a majority of the girls I know don’t. They believe women should be equal, that we should have the same opportunities as men and be paid as much as them for the same work. But they won’t call themselves feminists. Why? Because feminists don’t shave their armpits, feminists are lesbians, feminists hate men and feminists are too radical.

Yes, asking for what we deserve is so radical. And asking for men to not joke around about backhanding women and demanding things from them is radical, too, and makes you unattractive to men, I guess. Well, if a man finds that unattractive, why would any woman care?

I don’t mean to generalize about men. I know that there are males in the world that don’t find this funny, that respect their girlfriends and listen to what women have to say. I know that there are males that identify themselves as feminists.

And I actually realized that the first page I mentioned is in response to a page called “I’m the girl. You’re the boy. You text first or we don’t talk today.”

I don’t think I have to point out that that page is ridiculous as well. I’m all about equality.

It wouldn’t be so infuriating if there was no meaning behind these jokes. But we live in a world where women are treated as second class citizens, and it’s not acceptable.

These boys need to grow up and learn how to respect women. And these girls need to take a stand against sexism, not get behind it.

Lauren Vincent can be reached at lvincent@student.umass.edu.

Comments
77 Responses to “Don’t ask girls to make you a sandwich”
  1. J-money says:

    Lauren,

    I could seriously use a sandwich right now.

    That will be all,

    Thanks

  2. god says:

    And on the 7th day god said make me a sandwich, and then he made eve

  3. Egbert McFishbiscuit says:

    You now know the difference between men and boys. Stop dating boys and you won’t have a problem. Besides, if this is the type of thing you worries you in your daily life, you must be doing great in everything else.

  4. alex says:

    Ok, men and women will NEVER be equal. And its not entirely man’s fault. A few examples of things that will never change: a guy has to ask for a girls number, a guy always has to call the girl first if he wants to talks. And your sentence about the group “i’m the girl. you’re the guy…” well why was there no explanation about how wrong that was? Obviously its bullshit that the world works that way, but you’ll never see a guy write an article about having to text women first. So quit complaining because it won’t do shit to help your cause.

  5. bk says:

    Do you really want equality? Do you really want to be eligible for the draft. Do you want to give up your immensely huge advantage in civil court when it comes to custody of children? Do you want to give up maternity leave? Do you not want your boyfriend to protect you in a dangerous situation? Women have advantages over men, just like men have over women. In my experience women say they want equality without giving up their advantages. Equality is a two way street ladies. But regardless of that people need to lighten up. If we were to get rid of all jokes that somebody found offensive then their wouldn’t be much comedy in the world. You know what they say laughter is the best medicine. Are you anti medicine? Do you want sick people to die? If not, then stop bitching about stupid jokes.

  6. Bjorn says:

    umm the majority of the guys I know do regard women as equals. They just find the idea of being a total sexist humorous. It satirizes men more than it does women imo. People are not fans of the behavior, just of the jokes enclosed. You really are taking it too seriously, one of the main negative stereotypes about feminists is that they get enraged about insignificant things like this and cannot take a joke, something you seem to embody.

    hence the classic joke: How many radical feminists does it take to change the light bulb?

    A: One! And its NOT FUNNY!

  7. jen says:

    OMG, finally somebody who agrees with me!! I’ve been seeing these groups for a while now and as disappointed as I am that several of my male friends have joined them, I am much more disappointed to find that just as many females have joined these groups and even added their own “sandwich jokes” to the group wall. I don’t understand this? Why would someone join a group that is demeaning to them and jokes about their lack of equality? Furthermore, I am extremely disturbed by the images of violence against females, particularly one picture I saw with girl with a black eye, with the caption: “***** shoulda shut up and made a ***damn sandwich”. How can anyone find this funny? I simply don’t see the humor in these groups. I have ranted about this to many fellow females but they all seem to echo the same sentiment: “yeah, but whatever it’s just a joke. besides there’s nothing you can do about it” and even worse: “actually I think they’re kind of funny”. Thankyou for you’re perspective

  8. Kyle says:

    the reason that guys don’t like feminists isn’t because of the things you have listed, its because they have no sense of humor. if you ask the guys that make these jokes for their serious opinion, i promise you that a large majority of them think of women as equal and treat them with respect. you’re making a huge deal out of something that is a simple joke. people need to stop trying to be politically correct all the time, there’s nothing wrong with some harmless humor.

    men and women will never be completely equal because men and women have a lot of physical and psychological differences, and that’s ok.

  9. Jeff says:

    Take comfort in the fact that most guys with that attitude end up as obese, single 50 year olds sitting on their couches watching sports re-runs with beer stains on their sweatpants. I’ve met a lot of these guys, they’re usually one of my friends’ token loser uncles. They’ll say “look at me man, I’m free. Don’t need no woman holdin’ me down.” Then a few months later you find out they blew their brains out with a handgun after they couldn’t deal with being a failure anymore. It’s never a big loss.

  10. AD says:

    Seriously. Facebook groups?

    If you’re really a feminist, why don’t you take up the cause of genital mutilation in Africa, child brides in Yemen, legality of women owning vehicles in Saudi Arabia, women treated as property in Afghanistan and Pakistan, denied schooling by the Taliban, murdered wholesale in China…

    Lauren, who told you “no” today? If you do better in school, and go out and try, you’ll have just as good a job as your male counterparts. But there are places in the world where women really are treated like cattle. I guess it’s just easier to whine about what boo hoo hoo everyone’s doing to you you you.

  11. M.Morphine says:

    Just saying, my girlfriend tells me to make the sandwiches. And I would :)

  12. Rik says:

    hey BK your forgot the every day stuff like discounts on services like insurance and entrance to places but that is ok discrimination because it is against males not females

  13. J-Bird says:

    @Bjorn

    I couldn’t agree with you more. Everyone one of my friends uses these jokes as a way to show how past male chauvinism is primitively funny. None of us would ever treat women in such a disrespectful manner.

  14. Friend of a sandwich thrower says:

    My girlfriend’s dad actually came home from work the day after his honeymoon and sat down in front of the TV and told his wife to “Go make me a sandwich, woman!”. Being that it was 50 years ago, she was an old fashion woman so she went into the kitchen and made him a sandwich. Then she brought it to him on a plate. Before giving him the plate she took the sandwich off the plate and threw it at him. LOL! True story. He never asked again.

  15. Laura says:

    Lauren,

    I completely agree wtih you. I noticed a comment saying here that men don’t like feminists because they don’t have a sense of humor which is another stereotype on them. I for one have an amazing sense of humor, I love anything that makes me laugh and I think South Park makes good (hilarious) points on their show (idk if that just makes me have a poor sense of humor hahah).
    People don’t realize that when men make jokes like “make me a sandwich” it’d be like a someone saying “go pick some cotton” to an african american. Nobody realizes that yet or thinks twice to make a sexist joke because they still don’t look at us as equal.
    After the election was over for presidency Hilary made a comment about how at a lot of her speeches people from the crowd would be making sexist comments such as “go back to the kitchen” (etc…they’re all getting pretty old). During Obama’s election someone made a racist comment and it was all over the news the day it was made. So why is sexism not treated the same?
    Also someone further up mentioned that if women were completely equal there would be no maternity leave. What they fail to realize is that majority of that leave is for recovery. It takes at the least a month for your vagina to recover and go back to normal so they most def. wouldn’t take that away.
    I could go on and on about this but I’m going to stop here. You wrote a really good article!

  16. Jacob says:

    I am definitely a guy who loves a joke, and I am not saying jokes don’t have any meaning to or relating to society but the whole point of a joke is well let me see to be funny, it’s a JOKE, like ha ha funny, jokes aren’t supposed to be serious or else they wouldn’t be jokes and they wouldn’t be funny. Now I am a guy and I love sandwiches but I am perfectly capable of making one myself, I’m not that lazy but yeah I laugh when I hear a joke like that “make me a sandwich” it’s funny. Now I am sure there are plenty of jokes that are sexist to males such as “wow hunny thanks for spending so much money on my ring instead of that Plasma your watching the game, guy: not now hunny watching the game make me a sandwich will you” now i find that funny if a guy said, “make yourself useful and make me a sandwich” that is sexist.

  17. Summer says:

    I’m a girl and I thought this group was hilarious, especially after seeing the other group that was like “guys text first or else we’re not talking tonight..yadayada”. If you’re a real feminist, you should know there are bigger issues in the world regarding women getting treated, not like second rate citizens, but like animals. It’s sad that you’re nit picking a fb group in a country were women are almost, yes, ALMOST equal to men. And honestly I wouldn’t change that. I get a lot of special treatment: teachers usually take my side, men give up their seat to me on trains, I don’t have to pay for meals on dates and I don’t have to get drafted into the war. If you give women any more equal rights, you’re essentially just taking away generations of GOOD manners.

    And I like making sandwiches.

  18. Hordeplayer75 says:

    You’re right. This isn’t a joke. Men are the obviously dominant race. We are smarter, more athletic, earn more like you said so yourself. We are on top. Accept your position as housewife and sexual slave and move on with this delusion of equality.

  19. Peter says:

    A sandwich, please.

    Thank you.

  20. Jamie says:

    I am completely appalled and insanely irate over the ignorant, no, idiocy of many of the people behind these comments.
    First, to the men and women that say that “women want equality, but don’t want to give up there advantages”, bullshit. I consider myself a huge feminist, and I know many, many other women that don’t agree with female advantage over men, or male advantage over women. Directly to “BK”, if drafts for war are again used in America, I want to be just as likely to be drafted as my male counterparts. I believe men and women should be entirely equal in the court of law (and everywhere) and if I was in a custody battle over a child, I would hope that the child would go to the parent more capable of being a caretaker, not based on gender. If ever in a dangerous situation with a male, I would want us both to be able to equally get away from the danger. And one more thing, don’t you dare tell us to stop “bitching” about jokes. I apologize if I’m incorrect to you, but in my experience men do not take it lightly if you belittle their masculinity, and they shouldn’t. Neither should women.
    The people who made posts such as “Just one thing, sandwich, please.”, disgust me. Even if you disagree with this woman, she is trying to discuss something she is passionate about, and you are behaving insanely immaturely. Do you think if the President was holding a conference anyone would make comments such as those? I certainly hope not. Professional people listen, respect, and actually think about what they are saying. Their replies should be of equal or higher intelligence and ACCURACY as the original speaker.
    All my life I have had to battle sexism, from men and women alike. In my work, in my home, even on the streets. Excuse me if it’s too much to ask for equality and to lay off the jokes. The jokes are offensive and seriously hurt some people. Why are some of you all right with that?

  21. Ryan says:

    Honestly? Yes, the sandwich jokes are funny, BECAUSE IT’S A JOKE. You don’t see men bitching about every joke women make about them and trust me it’s a lot.

    So how about you get up and actually do something with your life? I think people have already pointed out that you have more important things to be dealing with than a fucking facebook group full of mostly guys who saw it, got a chuckle, and clicked “like.”

  22. Mike says:

    You guys put entirely too much thought into this. It’s just meant to be smart ass and funny. If I told my wife, “Go make yourself useful and make me a sandwich!” She probably would, like in the story in one of the posts above, make me a nice tasty looking sandwich and then bring it to me, and splat me in the face with it. And you know what? I would laugh my ass off. Because that is just FUNNY. A funny response, to me being sarcastically sexist.

    As for the poster who claims she is a “huge feminist”, which I won’t touch, the fact that you feel so defensive, waste time out of your life finding conflict in everything seemingly sexist, and can’t just enjoy living life, says that you have already lost this imaginary battle you are fighting.

  23. Ivan says:

    Silence blanketed the room, she knelt with a sandwich raised to the air…. “Very well, you have proven yourself to be a woman. Now leave this place and never return!”

  24. vish says:

    if a guy really pisses me off I might get into a fight with him. If a women pisses me off, social stigma restrains me from ever laying a hand on a women. If you want equal rights then be ready to share equal facetime with my fists… what you call female oppression is also what protects your asses from belligerent bastards like myself… AND GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH WOMAN AND BE QUICK ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!

    p.s. mayo is on the lower shelf in the fridge

  25. kfrimo says:

    See vish, you just look like an idiot with an anger issue who is unaware of the proper usage of ellipses. (FYI, an ellipsis is this little gem: “…”). Also, the entire world needs to be protected from belligerent-bastard-morons like you.

    Good article, by the way.

  26. calmdownplzktnks says:

    chill

  27. C says:

    Angry feminism =/= Productive feminism.