The constant reminders of racism and sexism around us serve to reinforce our problematic judgments of each other.

People should be educated on the historical significance of events that have led to particular words. Knowing the background information on what a word really “means” might help people genuinely understand for rational reasons what words can and can’t be said.

Can we not forge our own path to understanding each other? I aim this question towards those who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender or empathize with this group and stand together to promote understanding and awareness by systematically registering words like ‘transvestite’ into offensive language.

These groups which wish to remove certain derogatory words from our lexicon stem from individuals’ innate desire to promote acceptance. I agree with their plight wholeheartedly. It is a civil rights battle that rages on and consumes many interpersonal interactions to this day.

However, after sitting through a forced discussion on acceptable language in reference to the gay community, I found myself enraged. It has taken me some time to realize what bothered me so much about having a representative of a group come and tell me how I should interact with them – despite the fact that I agree with their ultimate goal of equality.

Quite a few months have passed since the day I stormed out of the room, feeling as though I had lost something of myself to a blind mass of people screaming from behind closed doors and asking for my help in a plight that has stretched on since man first has lain with man.

I learned why after an interaction with a lesbian couple at a party.

‘Brutish’ is the only word that sticks out in my mind about how they treated me and my friends. We took up positions at an open Beirut table, only to be interrupted by the two angry ladies storming down the stairs yelling, “who skipped the list!?”

It is my experience that when a Beirut list is present but goes unenforced, it is alright to forgo the list and whoever wishes to play may do so. In our attempt to explain to these ladies this concept, we were met with a defensive wall of feminist rhetoric. I could tell because, when my male friend tried to talk to them, they avoided eye contact and shouted over what he was saying – in a defiant “you can’t talk to me like that because you are a man” tone, as if to say that our goal of basking in beer pong revelry was tantamount to misogyny and sexim.

Immediately after this, my friend’s sister – a beautiful blonde, tried to talk them down, which was met with a gentle stroke of the arm and an, “Ok, I’ll listen to you because you are a girl” interaction.

At this moment, I understood what made my insides boil. It was the idea that I am not being treated equally. The group asking me to change how I speak to them because they are female is the equivalent to allowing these militant feminists to disrespect my friend based entirely on the fact he is a man.

What they ask for is equality, but instead they are demanding more than that; to only be spoken to in a certain manner and yet, conversely, the right to disrespect others based on their outward composition.

It is entirely wrong – for either side, for any race, any person – to ask for that when we are interacting in a free environment.

This needs to stop.

We need to begin to believe we are better now, past anachronistic gender and sexuality dichotomies, and revel in the fact we are a generation on the battling adversity and inequality with the wit and sensibility to overcome it.

What we bicker about in college may vary, but don’t use our philosophical quandaries to impose on others. Use them to catalyze a change that promotes freedom rather than restriction. Show that what we have learned in the classroom can culminate in activities which create a new generation of thought, where compassionate consideration of the travesties of the past can be regarded as just that, in the past.

To stare boldly at injustice and accept that it has occurred, while seeking to eradicate it with rational action; this is the generation we need to become.

Throw away the whining emotional, idealistic responses and accept that others may have other understandings of these clashing cultural paradigms. These social stratum and our perceived roles present themselves as if they are binding laws governing our interactions, but they only censor our ability to express ourselves as we see fit instead. Expressions represent our ultimate freedom.

Prejudice should never be tolerated. There is no argument there, but rather in how we choose to express our tolerance of issues; often by openly discussing them as realities and predicaments. These problems require more than simply stating personal indignations towards the ideas.

We have become a fearful populous – conditioned from the beginning to be cautious and wary of the world, and to assume the worst before accepting the actual.

Let us exist as people who refer to our physical characteristics or orientations not as disparaging speech but as a way to understand the human condition and its various forms.

Jack Ho is a UMass student. He can be reached at jwho@student.umass.edu.