College students are no strangers to the pressures of impressing a first date – especially a first date set on Valentine’s Day, on which the expectations to do something special and romantic are highly evident. Men’s actions are particularly scrutinized on this holiday designed to dote upon a woman’s needs. So here it is for the boys – a dating guide to not-screwing-it-up.

Don’t joke about her weight

One of the most common insecurities women can share are feelings on personal weight. Jokes about a woman’s weight can be very psychologically damaging, and definitely will not go over well on a first date. Therefore, unless you’re positive your girl’s got a great sense of humor and awesome self-esteem steer clear of the “wow, you eat like a truck driver,” jokes.

Don’t pick your nose

Or nails. Or toes. Or ears. Or any other body part imaginable. This may seem obvious as no one should really do this ever, but people have weird bad habits. A first date is not the time to display them.

Don’t make any loud, smelly, gastric noises

Though burps and farts might be a sign of masculinity around your buddies while throwing a few back and watching football, this is definitely not the way to impress your Valentine, especially in public. In most females’ eyes, releasing bodily functions loudly and proudly reveals a man’s immaturity. Your date may even feel you lack respect for her or do not have enough interest in trying to impress her. Despite the fact you may have just ate Tacos and drank a beer, please excuse yourself before and after letting it all out.

Avoid talking about your ex

Talking about an old flame in a positive manner can make some women feel you might still have romantic feelings for your last girl. Talking about her excessively in a negative fashion, makes us think you’re a kiss-and-tell crybaby, which isn’t very attractive either.

Take her some place nice

You don’t have to break the bank for this one, but McDonald’s is definitely not an option. A first date doesn’t have to be to a premier French restaurant, but staying kind of classy, and choosing restaurants where there is more on the menu than just burgers, shows the girl you care enough to want to spend money to take care of her. Luckily, many restaurants offer Valentine’s Day specials, which also make you appear romantic and thoughtful.

Dress to impress

Keep it to the tone of the restaurant you are going to. Keep your favorite tee with the barely noticeable holes in the armpits at home for a first date. If you appear nice, it gives the illusion that you care about what you look like and that you hope we think you are attractive.

Smell good

There is nothing a girl loves more than a guy who smells like the OldSpice commercials’ guy says a man should smell. Smelling great enough to scratch and sniff not only attracts women to you, but also makes you much easier to cuddle up to. Though we want you to smell like an aftershave commercial, if you overdo the AXE, you will push us off with a potent odor-induced migraine

Stop texting

Your buddies can wait. Unless it’s your mom, ignore you BlackBerry for the two hours you’re out to dinner with your new girl. She is on this date to get to know you, and it will be a turn off if you don’t pay attention to her or contribute to the conversation without interruption. If you’re engrossed the entire time in the technology, why didn’t we just Facebook chat you? Girls spend hours getting ready, and they expect their date to pay attention and make the effort worthwhile.

Be confident

Girls want to be with a man who is self-assured. With an attitude that tells a girl in an effortless kind of way that he is worth the time, a man can be sure to land another date. Remember your manners and try not to fidget or make it seem as though you feel uncomfortable. The girl will like you if you are your funny, intelligent and confident self.

Ashley Berger can be reached at [email protected]