Massachusetts Daily Collegian

A free and responsible press serving the UMass community since 1890

A free and responsible press serving the UMass community since 1890

Massachusetts Daily Collegian

A free and responsible press serving the UMass community since 1890

Massachusetts Daily Collegian

Your dorm or mine?

♥ The Daily Collegian’s Guide to Valentine’s Day 2011 ♥

“Did it hurt?” Pause for confused stare. “When you fell from heaven?” Pause for rejection.

Pickup Lines. You know, those cocky and occasionally outlandish break-the-ice expressions widely used in popular movies but seldom in real life? Correction, seldom successful in real life.

Though pickup lines have a reputation for causing a stir, even the simplest form of discourse such as “Hi,” falls into the courting category. On the other end of the spectrum, specialty lines have become popular for each interest. Hitting on a math teacher? Use this little piece of gold:

“I wish I was your derivative so I could lay tangent to your curves.”

Trying to hookup at the latest Harry Potter film? Cast this spell on the wizard or witch of your choice:
“I’m not wearing an invisibility cloak, but do you think I could still visit your restricted section tonight?”
The idea of pickup lines is comical, but do they actually work?

Toni Coleman, a relationship coach in McLean, Virginia, is quoted in June 29, 2005 article “Pickup Lines That Work: Or Will They?” featured on DiscoveryHealth.com.

Coleman states, “When we think of a line, right away we think insincere, canned, something that’s used on everybody.”

It’s impossible to react positively from these flirtations when it seems their sole purpose is to get you into bed. Coleman confirms that it’s unlikely that pickup lines are used to form a relationship beyond one night.
What about using pickup lines on college students, who have somewhat of a reputation for excess partying and hooking up before dating?

Kate Barker from College Magazine declares pickup lines off limits for college students. In the article “Put down the Pickup Lines,” Barker recommends a simple, yet straightforward approach to initiating conversation:

“Hey, don’t we have (insert political science/marketing/recess, etc.) together?”
Barker, a college student herself, declares genuine dialogue as the best to follow an opener such as above. She offers solid advice; don’t try to impress.

There’s nothing worse than listening to a total “bro” brag over the 30-rack of Busch heavies he crushed before nightfall. It’s equally unfortunate to get stuck listening to a ditsy “biddy” gush over her sorority sisters, so keep the conversation flowing by asking questions.

Fiona Macrae of the Daily Mail Online wrote the article, “Forget the cheesy chat-up lines – just say ‘Hello’ if you want to be a success with the opposite sex,” where the title speaks for itself. Dr Petra Boynton of University College London confirms simplicity, saying “Hi,” or “How are you?” works better than any line.
With influences such as VH1’s “The Pickup Artist,” it’s evident that today’s society would get the impression that meeting people is all a game. Pickup lines are certainly fun, and could potentially be used to break the ice if the receiver of the line has a sense of humor. But if you’re actually interested stick with the down-to-Earth approach, and keep the lines between friends.

Kate Evans can be reached at [email protected].

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    Trish DushaneFeb 14, 2011 at 2:55 pm

    bahahhahah love the harry potter reference

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