Massachusetts Daily Collegian

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A free and responsible press serving the UMass community since 1890

Massachusetts Daily Collegian

A free and responsible press serving the UMass community since 1890

Massachusetts Daily Collegian

Highs and Lows of “Jersey Shore”

shore cast mtv
(Courtesy of MTV)

At the close of an unforgettable “Jersey Shore” summer, the cast has left us with some memorable moments and some moments that we would all like to forget. This recap takes us through a summer of laughs, fights, new lingo, perfect poufs, tans, gorillas, guidos, beaches, sand and eight cast members that left us laughing and crying at their stupidity and antics.

  1. Intoxicated Snooki during the day– This was easily the highlight of the season. Snooki gets drunk one night, wakes up the next morning, goes to work, leaves, gets fried pickles and more booze, and then goes to the beach where she gets arrested. I am still baffled at the fact that it took Snickers until the third season to get put in custody by the boys in blue, but good for her for making it this long. I applaud you Snooki and therefore have given you the number one memory of the season.
  2. Grated Cheese– In a season full of pranking the housemates, Snooki, Sam, and Ron took the cake for the best execution. After a grenade-filled night for The Situation, the trio decided to rub in some “juice” to his bed to teach him a lesson. They sprinkled grated cheese and cream cheese under his sheets. He had no idea and believed that it was the stench of the grenade he brought home, which Sam, Snooki, Ron and everyone watching found hilarious.
  3. “Aww yeaa! Cabs are he-ah”- Anyone who didn’t start saying this Pauly D-created phrase after the episode aired was not a true fan. This was definitely the phrase of the season that everyone remembered and everyone put their own little spin on it.
  4. Atomic Bomb– The finale concluded with Vinny taking the prize for the most unattractive hook-up ever. This cougar-aged hippo attempted to hook up with Vinny and he danced with her, much to Pauly’s shock/ dismay/ horror.  Pauly then coined the term “atomic bomb” which is pretty accurate considering the circumstance.
  5. Return of the Stalker– Who remembers last summer at The Shore when Pauly acquired stalker Danielle? How about the multiple times she showed up this season to harass poor Pauly? How about when he invited her home just to tool on her? Good work Pauly- show her not to mess with our favorite guido.

 

Though there were certainly some highlights from the season, Sammi and Ronnie’s constant fighting put a huge frown on everyone’s face. Let’s recap some quality Sammi and Ronnie moments.

  1. Throwing the bedroom out the window– OK Ronnie, we get it- you’re the Xenadrine spokesguy and are a huge gorilla guido juice-head, but come on. Throwing all your girlfriend’s belongings out the window? Really? Grow up.
  2. “I promise I’m really done this time”- I wish I had a dollar for every time Sammi said this this season, because I would probably be able to buy a whole lot of sandwiches at Blue Wall.
  3. Arvin– Ron cheated. Sam cheated. Get over it. Sam talked to another guy while Ron and Sam were broken up. That is human nature. It is also human nature for The Situation to get involved in something that is clearly none of his business.
  4. Ronnie crying– Ron-– grow some. Like, you probably weigh at least 250 and can probably bench about 500, but the waterworks are making Deeana look tougher than you.
  5. Sam busts out and then peaces out– On the other hand, Sam decided the best way to make Ronnie jealous is to go to the club and dance with another guy to get back at him. Good for you girl, the game works both ways. However, after Sam’s wild girl’s night out, she skips town to head back home because she cannot bear to be treated like dirt by Ronnie. This is a wake-up call for him.

 

There we have it folks, a simplistic view of a season at The Shore from our favorite guidos and guidettes. Stay tuned for next season when the crew takes over ITALY?! Returning to the homeland, what?

Ashley Berger can be reached at [email protected].

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