Massachusetts Daily Collegian

A free and responsible press serving the UMass community since 1890

A free and responsible press serving the UMass community since 1890

Massachusetts Daily Collegian

A free and responsible press serving the UMass community since 1890

Massachusetts Daily Collegian

How to travel through time

Flickr/Psyberartist

Last week I happened across the secret of time travel.

I decided to keep it hush and not make a big deal out of my groundbreaking discovery. I mean, sure cameras and paparazzi are flattering but it’s not the attention I am looking for. I would much rather share my life-changing discovery with people who are in need. Between balancing class, work, schoolwork, maintaining a social life, exercising and sleeping, it seems nobody is quite in need of time as much as college students. So I’ll let you all in on a little secret.

You know that little dial that sticks out the side of your watch? Pull it out. Now twist it so the minute hand moves forward five minutes. Boom. You just traveled five minutes into the future. To all those movies that said you needed a time machine or a magic car to split dimensions and warp time, I call bull. All you need is a clock and an open mind.

I have been living in the future for about a week and a half now and I’ve noticed it bears a striking resemblance to the past. It may seem like a foreign concept but it’s actually quite familiar. The best part is that everybody is so caught up in the present that they won’t even realize you’re from the future. I’ve been able to go about my daily life with no differences, besides the fact that I’m five minutes ahead of the game at all times.

This idea was sparked during a conversation with a friend of mine. My friend Skylar and I were in my room last Monday hanging out before class. Sky glanced at my laptop to check the time. Instant panic overcame him as he scrambled to gather his bag and head for the door. Our classes were both at 2:30 and the clock read 2:28. There was no way we were making it on time, or so it seemed. Sky was halfway out the door when it hit me.

“Wait!” I exclaimed. “I just remembered the clock on my laptop is like 7 or 8 minutes fast. We’re still good to go my man.”

We checked our cell phones to verify. Sure enough, both read 2:20. While eight minutes may not be a long time in the broad spectrum of life, it sure can make or break you being late to class. I saw a relief wash over Sky’s face. Relief was quickly encompassed by curiosity. The obvious question came next: Why don’t you just set your clock to the right time?

I thought about it. The question had dawned on me before but I had just shrugged it off. It was a mixture of laziness and foresight that caused me to leave it as it was for so long. I am often late and it seemed like a plausible solution to that problem.

After careful reconsideration, it still seemed like an advantage to me. Other than momentary scares like the one that just occurred, I couldn’t think of any cons to setting my clock ahead of time. I still can’t.

We discussed the idea as we walked to class. “It’s like we’re living in the future,” I said. “We’re ahead of the game and nobody knows it.” The idea seems ridiculous at first but like facial hair it grows on you, in some cases quicker than others. You just have to give it a chance.

You judge time based on clocks. What would happen if the world collectively boosted all clocks five minutes ahead? Time would change. It’s no different if you do it yourself. You’re just the only one that time changes for, but like your mother always said, be a leader not a follower. What is the worst that can happen? You’re five minutes early? It will make up for all those times you were five minutes late.

Being late is an instant turnoff when building relationships, professionally or socially. If I agree to meet my friend at the dining commons at 6:30 and he shows up at 6:35, the thought is always “Well it’s about time.” It applies in any situation. In the professional world, the consequences of being late are more real. Think about how your impression of somebody would change if you are scheduled to meet, especially for the first time, and they casually stroll in late. It’s not a good look.

I’m not claiming it will solve all the problems in your life. It is a good way to trick your mind into thinking you have less time than you do. It’s a great feeling when you are rushing someplace and suddenly you realize you have time to spare. I encourage everyone to be open-minded and try it. Give yourself an extra advantage and make life easier, or at least more interesting.

Josh Steinberg is a Collegian columnist. He can be reached at [email protected]

 

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    bkMar 9, 2012 at 3:18 pm

    hipster time travel

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