Massachusetts Daily Collegian

A free and responsible press serving the UMass community since 1890

A free and responsible press serving the UMass community since 1890

Massachusetts Daily Collegian

A free and responsible press serving the UMass community since 1890

Massachusetts Daily Collegian

Evolution of a caffeinated college-ette

Maria Uminski/Collegian

Warm beverages save lives.

For every college moment, there is a delectably soothing and enriching goblet of caffeine designed for your emotional and mental stimulation. After 1,460 days of this thing we call high education, I can feel confident enough to say, “I’ve been there, sipped that.”

Take my very first week as a freshman. One of my initial thoughts of Amherst was, ‘Gosh darn sweet java lord, there is no Dunkins downtown but at least, there’s a Starbucks!’ It quickly became my weekly treat to get a whipped cream-topped Frappuccino or caramel iced caramel macchiato, both oozing with decadent sweetness.

‘Hold the phone,’ you are thinking. ‘The first line of this article says, ‘warm beverages save lives.’ These, my friends, are the coldest of the cold in the wonderful world of beverage.’ There is a reason for that. I am willing to admit that I was naïve, for three reasons. First, I had no idea that a small Frappuccino with whipped cream is almost half of a normal daily calorie intake. Second, I did not realize that $5-smalls are not reasonable. Third, I made bad decisions. Not the kind that end in a walk of shame at 7 a.m. dressed in bubble wrap and glitter heels but the ones that make a first year girl lock herself in my room with honey mustard wings and cry all Friday night.

As a sophomore, I began to dabble in the warm side of things in the hopes to subdue my ever-evolving internal anxiety stemming socially and academically. Although I frequently favored iced chai lattes, even naming my first 2 a.m. radio show with WMUA ‘Iced Chai and a Mix tape,’ I developed an affinity for tea. To this day, the smell of African Red Rooibos brings me back to the yellow tapestry couch under my lofted bed that allowed me to really get to know the ceiling on the fourth floor of Gorman. Night after night, I microwaved water in my Life is Good ‘Smile’ mug and wait patiently for it to steep.

Tea is quite a delight … for monarchs in sunbonnets overlooking their 10,000-acre manor in the English countryside. But, not really effective for typical nineteen-year old college girls as they navigate cohabitation, love lives, or lack thereof, and growing-by-the-minute anxiety. Something a little stronger is in order.

I fled the country for a while, spending a semester in Ireland. The Emerald Isle is not known for its coffee or tea and there is a reason for that. It is because it is not good. Sadness came over me knowing that I would not have anything remotely resembling caffeine in five months. But then I met Jameson. Interesting fellow. Comes in a green bottle. The hot whiskey hunk, also known as hot totties, is tea on steroids that were most enjoyably experienced on rainy week mornings at a bar with anyone willing to listen to your woes.

Before you know it, I was in Amherst Coffee every other week for a hot tottie and anyone who would listen. Bailey and Kahlua also made appearances as I searched for soul cleansing.

By the end of first semester and some significant life adjustments after adding up the coffee bills from the sophisticated café, I found myself pining for Procrastination Station’s cup of joe every time I saw Club Du Bois which is quite frequently since it is a 26-floor red building in the middle of no where.

Small, no sugar, skim milk. Just the simple taste of Earthy blend gets me through an afternoon.

Two weeks before I plan to walk across the stage, accept my diploma and officially put UMass behind me, I took a walk to Starbucks. I ordered a medium, sorry ‘grande,’ iced caramel macchiato for old time sake. I wanted a little sentimental blast from the past to let me know that I am still the same me who came into college with a fresh face and a backpack full of dreams. I took one sip and almost did a movie-quality mouth spray because it was so sweet.

Now, one can say that is a metaphor to show that college made me bitter but I like to look at it that, after all is said and sipped, college has made me stronger. Or, at least my taste buds are.

For all of my Collegian colleagues, family and friends who have stood by me through the House, the Arabica, the French, the dark and the hazelnut blends, I cannot wait for the many more warm beverages to come.

Lindsey Davis was the Managing Editor of Daily Collegian.com. She can be reached at [email protected].

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  • K

    KatieMay 1, 2012 at 4:36 pm

    I came to this article wondering what in the world is a college-ette. But your comments on tea and Ireland are far stranger. Ireland is absolutely known for its tea. There’s tea bloody everywhere and it’s good. (Ba mhaith liom cupán tae!) Bewley’s? What about Barry’s Tea? Did no one show you an episode of “Father Ted,” a show about Irish stereotypes? Mrs. Doyle had tea on speed-dial.

    You poor girl. No matter. The world is all ahead of you. You must absolutely return to Ireland. Or, you need to go to Cardullo’s in Cambridge or some other import shop that sells all of Ireland’s great teas.

    You will miss the good coffee in Amherst once you graduate. Focus on Amherst Coffee or Rao’s. Forget about Starbucks. There are plenty of those in Dublin to bore a person to death.

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