September 16, 2014

Scrolling Headlines:

UMass students make an impact -

Monday, September 15, 2014

Apple unveils new smartwatch and larger iPhone 6 -

Monday, September 15, 2014

Fast food strikers right to demand stake in ‘American dream’ -

Monday, September 15, 2014

New Journalism Chair Kathy Roberts Forde finds home at UMass -

Monday, September 15, 2014

UMass men’s soccer shut out by Boston University in rain-soaked matchup -

Monday, September 15, 2014

UMass field hockey gets much needed win on Sunday vs. UMass Lowell -

Monday, September 15, 2014

UMass men’s and women’s cross country opens season with middling finishes -

Monday, September 15, 2014

Dear Chancellor: Fund dilapidated arts classrooms -

Monday, September 15, 2014

UMass to create new renewable energy chair position -

Monday, September 15, 2014

Uber: A better deal for area students -

Monday, September 15, 2014

UMass field hockey loses 2-1 to California on Friday -

Monday, September 15, 2014

University panel brings understanding to the term ‘hooking up’ -

Monday, September 15, 2014

UMass women’s soccer falters at UConn -

Monday, September 15, 2014

Dr. Vijay Prashad speaks at UMass on capitalism and global inequality -

Monday, September 15, 2014

Minutewomen offensive struggles continue in a 2-1 loss vs. California -

Sunday, September 14, 2014

UMass football falls to Vanderbilt 34-31 in crushing fashion -

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Front to Back: Week of Sept. 8, 2014 -

Friday, September 12, 2014

“She was a happy person and she exuded that happiness onto everyone around her” -

Thursday, September 11, 2014

UMass football prepares for Southeastern Conference opponent in first road game of the season. -

Thursday, September 11, 2014

‘Calvary’ laces optimism with incredibly dark comedy -

Thursday, September 11, 2014

A Bond Among Men

Women adore him, bad guys are always trying to kill him, and the world depends on him.

Wikimedia Commons

Since 1953, no spy has quite captured cool like author Ian Fleming’s character of James Bond. Many actors have played him. Some even made him immortal, like Sean Connery, who gave Bond a timeless eloquence.

The most recent Bond to order a martini shaken as opposed to stirred, Daniel Craig, made him more human. Whoever has played him; there is much that James Bond can teach the modern man.

How to woo a woman

One of Bond’s greatest weaknesses is his penchant for women, who are portrayed in Bond films to like dangerous men. As a man of action, Bond does not mince words; how could he when he is too busy out-smarting international villains and disarming bombs left and right? Women like a man of mystery because the allure of a secret goes a long way.

That being said, heed the following advice: Always leave abruptly without giving much of an explanation. When inevitably you are asked for an explanation, respond by slowly lighting a cigarette and saying something like “If I told you, I would have to kill you.”

Women, according to the Bond films, also love a man who can save the world from impending doom. So if you have the time, try to bust a couple international drug rings or disarm a bomb seconds before it explodes.

Invest in cool gadgets

Agent Q decked Bond out with a variety of new age gadgets, courtesy of MI6, to carry out his missions. You may not encounter the type of nefarious henchman and life-threatening scenarios that 007 handles with nerves of steel and ease, but a watch with a laser embedded in it could come in handy.

Who knows, the next time a lady friend asks for a light, you have your watch laser.

A pen with sleeping gas in it would be great for the times when someone is talking too loud in the library. No longer will your haven of silence be disturbed by phrases like “Want to see a picture of my cat wearing a birthday hat?” or “No dude, Abraham Lincoln was a total bro, he killed vampires.”  You should definitely invest in a pen with sleeping gas and a laser watch.

What to wear

Always impeccably dressed, Bond has a commanding presence. Could it be the confidence gained from an immaculately tailored suit, sometimes dinner jacket and appropriately sized lapels? Probably, and this confidence can be yours too.

Classically dressed in a dark suit, white shirt and dark tie combination, you can pick up some of Bond’s stacked sartorial swagger. A crisp white pocket square tops it off. This suit combination does just as well to gain the respect of an international criminal as well make a good impression for an interview, and both are deadly serious.

Bond also has the knack for having streamlined and masculine outerwear. Who apprehends a villain in a puffer jacket? A beat up field jacket or leather jacket would do the trick. Nerves of steel keep Bond cool during these dangerous encounters, he may have been sweating bullets, but we’ll never know do to the unimpeachable tailoring.

Whether you are playing a high-stakes game of black jack with some of the world’s most dangerous men, or waiting for an interview, take a page out of Bond’s book and have unshakable nerves of steel. If not, go for a fantastically tailored suit, which is basically the same thing.

Ryan Ford can be reached at rcfor0@student.umass.edu

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