October 21, 2014

Scrolling Headlines:

UMass student charged in connection with alleged involvement in racist vandalisms -

Monday, October 20, 2014

BREAKING: Police investigating death of 21-year-old female in McNamara Hall -

Monday, October 20, 2014

Protect Our Breasts runs Breast Cancer Awareness campaign -

Monday, October 20, 2014

Underclassmen lead UMass hockey to first victory of the season -

Monday, October 20, 2014

Super Smash Bros. 3DS: A classic revitalized -

Monday, October 20, 2014

Dear Chancellor: Improve the FAC -

Monday, October 20, 2014

UMass women’s soccer shut out by Rhode Island -

Monday, October 20, 2014

Students at UMass rally to show support for Hong Kong -

Monday, October 20, 2014

Duolingo makes learning a language easier -

Monday, October 20, 2014

UMass men’s swimming and diving falls to Army; women’s team gets revenge -

Monday, October 20, 2014

UMass field hockey gets back to .500 with win over BU Sunday -

Monday, October 20, 2014

‘Columbus Day’ demonstrates ignorant view of the past -

Monday, October 20, 2014

Students for Justice in Palestine aims to spread awareness, not argue -

Monday, October 20, 2014

Mending fences: SGA and Amherst officials work together to improve town/gown relations -

Monday, October 20, 2014

UMass men’s soccer drops 5-0 decision to Saint Louis -

Monday, October 20, 2014

The Phablet continues to grow and maintain popularity -

Monday, October 20, 2014

Dayton Flyers soar at Rudd Field, 4-1 over the Minutemen -

Sunday, October 19, 2014

UMass football’s Sharpe continues his banner season in 36-14 win over Eastern Michigan -

Saturday, October 18, 2014

Shadrach Abrokwah has career day in UMass football’s 36-14 win over Eastern Michigan. -

Saturday, October 18, 2014

UMass tops Eastern Michigan 36-14, puts together first FBS winning streak -

Saturday, October 18, 2014

Drink Orders Guaranteed to Get a Reaction

Editor’s Note: The Massachusetts Daily Collegian does not approve of profane and sexist language. While our staff and editors acknowledge that certain drinks have developed sexist nicknames, this article in no way endorses directing that kind of language toward anyone.

Turning 21 opens anyone up to the world of bars, properly mixed drinks and a wide array of cleverly named cocktails to order from a most likely less than enthused bartender. After making 10 Woo-Woo’s for 21st birthday parties, the bartenders in the area are now likely craving some new, witty and slightly crass drinks to conjure up for the bar’s crowd. Here’s a list of some inappropriate drink titles that are almost certain to get a laugh, or at least a chortle, from the local bartender and your drinking cohorts.

una_pan/Flickr

Sex On The Beach

A traditional cocktail ordered on one’s 21st birthday, nothing shouts “I’m legal!” quite like this mix of vodka, peach schnapps, orange and cranberry juices. Sex on the Beach usually makes for one extraordinarily sweet drink. A favorite for individuals who don’t like the taste of alcohol and are trying to make the cute bartender blush, this drink is a classic and flirtatious order.

Red-Headed Slut

The red-headed slut is a deceptively sweet shot with a prominently peachy aftertaste. Go order the shot, and get your mind out of the gutter. Made with Jagermeister, peach schnapps and cranberry juice, this shot is a crowd pleaser for anyone who likes Jager or sugary drinks.

Slow Comfortable Screw Against the Wall

Derived from popular vodka and orange juice cocktail, the Screwdriver, the Slow Comfortable Screw Against the Wall adds a series of liqueurs to this standard base drink. Sloe gin (a sweet, plum-flavored liqueur), Southern Comfort and the licorice-flavored Galliano are added to the vodka and orange juice, making the cocktail quite a bit stronger than its compatriot and quite a bit sweeter too. Ordering this drink is more about the comedic delivery of the request than about enjoying the drink. A completely straight-face and deadpan intonation is likely to yield a satisfying eyebrow raise from the bartender.

151 Canadian Vampires Hypnotized by the Hamburglar in a Cherry Red Corvette

Admittedly, it would take a special bartender to know this drink. So, if you don’t get thrown out of the bar immediately after ordering it, you should probably tip your bartender over 50 percent. This incredibly boozy recipe is spelled out in its complicated name: an ounce of Bacardi 151, an ounce of Canadian blended whiskey, an ounce of Hpnotiq and an ounce of cherry-flavored vodka. While no bartender in his or her right mind would make you this drink, telling the 21st birthday boy or girl to order one might lead to a YouTube worthy video of his or her efforts. Results of hilarity not guaranteed.

Allie Connell can be reached at aconn0@student.umass.edu

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