November 27, 2014

Scrolling Headlines:

UMass tight end Jean Sifrin mulls future, potential NFL career -

Thursday, November 27, 2014

UMass basketball trounces Northeastern 79-54 -

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Students and staff discuss racial and social inequality following Ferguson decision -

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

UMass hockey falls to Vermont, 3-1 -

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

No indictment for Ferguson cop -

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Chancellor addresses campus regarding grand jury decision in death of Michael Brown -

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Northern Illinois hangs on against Ohio, Hunt carries Toledo to victory -

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

SGA passes 10 motions at meeting Monday night -

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Students and UMPD work together during the annual ‘Walk for Light’ -

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

‘Conscious Consumer’ talk promotes business sustainability -

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

UMass hockey looks to rebound against Vermont following Saturday’s blowout at home -

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

UMass women’s soccer’s Sverrisdóttir balances a soccer career between two different countries -

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

‘First Demo’ provides a fascinating glimpse of Fugazi in its infancy -

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

My mental illness does define me (to an extent) -

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

How to master multitasking -

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

One Direction hints at newfound sophistication on ‘Four’ -

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

TV on the Radio sounds rejuvenated on ‘Seeds’ -

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

UMass men’s club soccer fundraises its way to Memphis -

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

UMass hockey takes accountability and seeks redemption against Vermont on Tuesday -

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Large group of males tries to forcibly enter a Hobart apartment over the weekend -

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Golden Globes an embarrassing joke

Flickr/SynergyByDesign

Beyond being an embarrassing and boring joke, the saddest part about the Golden Globes is that they’re an irrelevant, embarrassing and boring joke.

The 70th annual Golden Globes aired during primetime on Sunday Jan. 15. As per TV Guide, 19.7 million people tuned in, the most since 2007.

This is Hollywood congratulating itself. Everyone plays along because it’s fun and there’s free booze — even then, nobody actually takes it seriously. It’s not like it’s the Oscars.

Originally started in the early 1940’s, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association’s roughly 90 members decide the final outcome of the Globes, compared to more than 6,000 judges of the Academy Awards. Their tendency to pick winners from major studios was forever immortalized by former host Ricky Gervais, who famously stated, “I’d like to quash this ridiculous rumor going ’round that the only reason [The Tourist] was nominated was so the Hollywood Foreign Assocation could hang out with Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie. That is rubbish. They also accepted bribes.”

The entire entertainment industry treats the less-than-prestigious Globes as a joke, e.g., Kristen Wiig and Will Ferrell’s ironic parody of introductory speeches in which they improvised the plots of the nominated films in an attempt to inject some vaguely funny, but mostly sardonic amusement the nauseatingly boring charade. By acknowledging the absurdity and ridiculousness of the whole event, Wiig and Ferrell negate any criticism, making it redundant because they’ve already made fun themselves and the whole media circus.

And of course Tina Fey and Amy Poehler were funny — they had to be, as the Globes need some interludes of amusement to keep everyone watching the entertainment industry advertise itself.

One hand washes the other: Guggenheim Partners, which owns The Hollywood Reporter, profits from that hype by spinning a glitzy story to put in supermarket checkout aisles. Guggenheim Partners also owns NBC, which not only has exclusive broadcast rights to the Globes, but also collects awards.

Isn’t it comforting when everything goes as expected? There were no surprises to throw anybody for any loops. The same handful of studios will win the same awards again and again, and this provides a sense of order and structure. All the formulaic and glossy movies and shows that everyone knew would win, won. Anything else would be unsettling and not suitable for the American Viewing Public.

Is there anything more peculiar than the former president of the United States (Bill Clinton), at one point the most powerful man in the world, introducing a piece of entertainment? Is there anything sadder than when the piece he introduced loses?

Is there anything more hypocritical than Jodie Foster declaring her want of privacy, after accepting a Lifetime Achievement Award on primetime television?

And what’s with that cheesy music? Who was in charge of those surreal and jarring cuts to the losers’ faces after every winner was announced? These are the baffling questions the Golden Globes presents and cannot answer.

The Golden Globes don’t matter. Like all award shows, the Golden Globes are self-indulgent and self-congratulating, and ultimately offer nothing of substance except to pollute the airwaves with radiotoxic white noise.

Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Kristen Wiig, Will Ferrell, Dick Clark, Bill Clinton, NBC and the HFPA could not be reached for comment.
Tom Barnes can be reached at tbarnes@student.umass.edu.

 

Comments
2 Responses to “Golden Globes an embarrassing joke”
  1. Eric Tori says:

    “self-indulgent and self-congratulating, and ultimately offer nothing of substance except to pollute the airwaves with radiotoxic white noise.”

    A definition of almost everything on television.

  2. Soren Hough says:

    The Golden Globes may seem useless, but they can be useful in gauging industry sentiment as we attempt to predict Oscar winners.

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