Scrolling Headlines:

50 Activists attend meeting as UMass Board of Trustees approves motion of divestment from fossil fuel companies -

June 16, 2016

Four former Minutemen depart from UMass hockey program -

June 14, 2016

Boston Calling 2016 delivers rousing farewell to City Hall Plaza -

June 2, 2016

Sufjan Stevens unearths quirk at Boston Calling -

June 2, 2016

The Collegian live tweets Boston Calling -

May 28, 2016

UMass baseball finishes season with sweep over George Mason -

May 22, 2016

UMass women’s lacrosse falls in NCAA quarterfinal -

May 22, 2016

‘Green Room’ is a bloody blast of survival horror -

May 21, 2016

DaLuz: Boston Celtics stuck trudging in the mud -

May 18, 2016

Despite tallying double-digit hits, UMass baseball falls to Fairfield Tuesday afternoon -

May 17, 2016

Radiohead returns to the top with gorgeous, illuminating ‘A Moon Shaped Pool’ -

May 16, 2016

UMass women’s lacrosse advances to quarterfinal of NCAA tournament -

May 16, 2016

UMass baseball outlasts Rhode Island in series finale behind strong pitching of Brandon Walsh -

May 15, 2016

Eileen McDonald’s overtime goal advances UMass women’s lacrosse in NCAA tournament -

May 14, 2016

12 UMass students face possible arrests in connection to an alleged bad LSD trip -

May 14, 2016

UMass baseball falls in first-ever Division I matchup with UMass Lowell 7-3 -

May 11, 2016

UMass baseball gets shut out in nonconference matchup with UConn -

May 10, 2016

UMass women’s lacrosse tops Richmond, wins eighth straight Atlantic 10 championship -

May 9, 2016

UMass baseball salvages last game of weekend series with Richmond behind strong eighth inning -

May 9, 2016

UMass women’s lacrosse beats St. Joe’s, advance to Atlantic 10 championship game -

May 7, 2016

Golden Globes an embarrassing joke

Flickr/SynergyByDesign

Beyond being an embarrassing and boring joke, the saddest part about the Golden Globes is that they’re an irrelevant, embarrassing and boring joke.

The 70th annual Golden Globes aired during primetime on Sunday Jan. 15. As per TV Guide, 19.7 million people tuned in, the most since 2007.

This is Hollywood congratulating itself. Everyone plays along because it’s fun and there’s free booze — even then, nobody actually takes it seriously. It’s not like it’s the Oscars.

Originally started in the early 1940’s, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association’s roughly 90 members decide the final outcome of the Globes, compared to more than 6,000 judges of the Academy Awards. Their tendency to pick winners from major studios was forever immortalized by former host Ricky Gervais, who famously stated, “I’d like to quash this ridiculous rumor going ’round that the only reason [The Tourist] was nominated was so the Hollywood Foreign Assocation could hang out with Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie. That is rubbish. They also accepted bribes.”

The entire entertainment industry treats the less-than-prestigious Globes as a joke, e.g., Kristen Wiig and Will Ferrell’s ironic parody of introductory speeches in which they improvised the plots of the nominated films in an attempt to inject some vaguely funny, but mostly sardonic amusement the nauseatingly boring charade. By acknowledging the absurdity and ridiculousness of the whole event, Wiig and Ferrell negate any criticism, making it redundant because they’ve already made fun themselves and the whole media circus.

And of course Tina Fey and Amy Poehler were funny — they had to be, as the Globes need some interludes of amusement to keep everyone watching the entertainment industry advertise itself.

One hand washes the other: Guggenheim Partners, which owns The Hollywood Reporter, profits from that hype by spinning a glitzy story to put in supermarket checkout aisles. Guggenheim Partners also owns NBC, which not only has exclusive broadcast rights to the Globes, but also collects awards.

Isn’t it comforting when everything goes as expected? There were no surprises to throw anybody for any loops. The same handful of studios will win the same awards again and again, and this provides a sense of order and structure. All the formulaic and glossy movies and shows that everyone knew would win, won. Anything else would be unsettling and not suitable for the American Viewing Public.

Is there anything more peculiar than the former president of the United States (Bill Clinton), at one point the most powerful man in the world, introducing a piece of entertainment? Is there anything sadder than when the piece he introduced loses?

Is there anything more hypocritical than Jodie Foster declaring her want of privacy, after accepting a Lifetime Achievement Award on primetime television?

And what’s with that cheesy music? Who was in charge of those surreal and jarring cuts to the losers’ faces after every winner was announced? These are the baffling questions the Golden Globes presents and cannot answer.

The Golden Globes don’t matter. Like all award shows, the Golden Globes are self-indulgent and self-congratulating, and ultimately offer nothing of substance except to pollute the airwaves with radiotoxic white noise.

Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Kristen Wiig, Will Ferrell, Dick Clark, Bill Clinton, NBC and the HFPA could not be reached for comment.
Tom Barnes can be reached at tbarnes@student.umass.edu.

 

Comments
2 Responses to “Golden Globes an embarrassing joke”
  1. Eric Tori says:

    “self-indulgent and self-congratulating, and ultimately offer nothing of substance except to pollute the airwaves with radiotoxic white noise.”

    A definition of almost everything on television.

  2. Soren Hough says:

    The Golden Globes may seem useless, but they can be useful in gauging industry sentiment as we attempt to predict Oscar winners.

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