September 30, 2014

Scrolling Headlines:

UMass falls short at home to UNH 1-0 -

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Tennis shines in West Point Invitational -

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

SGA to launch new binge drinking awareness campaign -

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

UMass rugby captain Devin Ibanez: ‘I’m just a rugby maniac’ -

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

SGA discusses University’s confidential informant policy -

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Akron upsets ACC foe, Toledo outruns Central Michigan -

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Electro-pop duo Cherub takes its sweet sound to Pearl Street -

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Fight for college affordability continues -

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

U.S. News ranks UMass among top 30 public universities -

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Battling arguments -

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Tim McGraw comes back strong in ‘Sundown Heaven Town’ -

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

No arrests made at UMass Homecoming tailgate and game -

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Alt-J diversifies and grows in ‘This Is All Yours.’ -

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

FSU holds off the Wolfpack while Hill leads the Aggies to an overtime victory -

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

UPDATE: UMass Police Department and Student Affairs officials to conduct review of confidential informant policy -

Monday, September 29, 2014

UMass men’s soccer shut out by UNH, 1-0, on Sunday -

Monday, September 29, 2014

The best ways to decorate your dorm room -

Monday, September 29, 2014

UMass needs to actively combat sexual assault -

Monday, September 29, 2014

Northwestern District Attorney’s office hosts National Prescription Drug Take-Back Day -

Monday, September 29, 2014

Students celebrate return of UMass football with tailgate festivities -

Monday, September 29, 2014

Berk goes berserk for butterscotch pudding

Flickr/Random Michelle

Editor’s note: This is a satirical piece. Happy Friday!

A surplus of butterscotch pudding has been the reason for the many happy eaters at the Berkshire Dining Commons. This semester, butterscotch pudding has been happily stocked next to the red cubed gelatin in the refrigerated foods section of Berk.  Delighted college students have been itching to get their hands back on the pudding ever since it came out for a short time last year. Vanilla and chocolate have been doing a good job, but the recent addition of pistachio and butterscotch has brought the diversity of choices to a new, Berk-approved level.

Thought to be a mistake of ordering too much pudding, it turns out the cause of the excess pudding is a plan to give the dining common a more home-like feel.

“Remember when grandma would whip up a batch of butterscotch pudding, and then from her coffee table take the butterscotch hard candies and put them in too?” recalls Dillon Marver, a Berk employee. “It’s just what these wacky kids need after a night of rowdiness, a little lovin’ from a sensible grandmother.”

Successfully, butterscotch pudding is becoming a popular trend with students.

“I try not to eat too much of it” comments Gina Kapner, a sophomore biology major who has never even tried the pudding. “I don’t want to conform with all the people that eat it, but to be honest, sometimes I just do it to look cool.”

She quickly adds, “don’t put that part in the paper, OK?” OK, Gina.

When asked how long the butterscotch binge will last, Berkshire Dining Commons commented that, “it could be another two or three weeks before the fad ends.”

They also hinted that a butterscotch week is in the planning stages.  So get ready for Butterscotch Bonanza, UMass.  I can’t wait to indulge in everyone’s favorite, butterscotch pizza!

Ben Richman is a Collegian contributor. He can be reached at brichman@student.umass.edu.

Leave A Comment