October 22, 2014

Scrolling Headlines:

UMass women’s soccer controls its own destiny as conference tournament approaches -

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

UMass soccer deploys new formation with Keys, Jess -

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

UMass calling on young swimmers to continue strong start to the year -

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

WMU, Ohio, NIU pick up wins in busy MAC weekend -

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

A comprehensive guide to the Ebola virus -

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Trio of freshmen leading UMass hockey’s offense early in the season -

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

A guide to comic collecting in the Pioneer Valley -

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Letter: What’s behind the curtains on Birthright trips? -

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

FBI director’s fear-mongering view of data encryption is off the mark -

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

UMass Permaculture Initiative to add three new programs -

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Gov. Deval Patrick visits Amherst, awards $1.5 million grant for downtown development -

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

UHS offers more accessible vaccination clinics as flu season nears -

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Gamard: Is gluten really bad or just a fad? -

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Three new students appointed as SGA special assistants -

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Allymohamed scores game winner after suffering facial injury against Boston University -

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Loaded weekend against Marist, Keene State challenges UMass club hockey -

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

UMass football seeing improvement on both the offensive and defensive lines -

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Remembering Derek Jeter: an appraisal -

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Yellowcard switches things up on “Lift a Sail” -

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Campus Sustainability Day to take place Wednesday -

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Berk goes berserk for butterscotch pudding

Flickr/Random Michelle

Editor’s note: This is a satirical piece. Happy Friday!

A surplus of butterscotch pudding has been the reason for the many happy eaters at the Berkshire Dining Commons. This semester, butterscotch pudding has been happily stocked next to the red cubed gelatin in the refrigerated foods section of Berk.  Delighted college students have been itching to get their hands back on the pudding ever since it came out for a short time last year. Vanilla and chocolate have been doing a good job, but the recent addition of pistachio and butterscotch has brought the diversity of choices to a new, Berk-approved level.

Thought to be a mistake of ordering too much pudding, it turns out the cause of the excess pudding is a plan to give the dining common a more home-like feel.

“Remember when grandma would whip up a batch of butterscotch pudding, and then from her coffee table take the butterscotch hard candies and put them in too?” recalls Dillon Marver, a Berk employee. “It’s just what these wacky kids need after a night of rowdiness, a little lovin’ from a sensible grandmother.”

Successfully, butterscotch pudding is becoming a popular trend with students.

“I try not to eat too much of it” comments Gina Kapner, a sophomore biology major who has never even tried the pudding. “I don’t want to conform with all the people that eat it, but to be honest, sometimes I just do it to look cool.”

She quickly adds, “don’t put that part in the paper, OK?” OK, Gina.

When asked how long the butterscotch binge will last, Berkshire Dining Commons commented that, “it could be another two or three weeks before the fad ends.”

They also hinted that a butterscotch week is in the planning stages.  So get ready for Butterscotch Bonanza, UMass.  I can’t wait to indulge in everyone’s favorite, butterscotch pizza!

Ben Richman is a Collegian contributor. He can be reached at brichman@student.umass.edu.

Leave A Comment