Scrolling Headlines:

Berkeley professor researches high-poverty high school -

December 11, 2017

Rosenberg steps down as Senate President during husband’s controversy -

December 11, 2017

Students aim to bring smiles to kids’ faces at Baystate Children’s Hospital -

December 11, 2017

‘Growing Cannabis On the Farm’ event held at Hampshire College -

December 11, 2017

UMass women’s basketball defeats Saint Peter’s for third straight win -

December 11, 2017

Celebrity culture could be a part of the problem -

December 11, 2017

Mulligan’s defense, rebounding helps push Minutewomen past Saint Peters -

December 11, 2017

Gaudet’s power play goal clinches 2-1 victory over Union for UMass hockey -

December 11, 2017

The department of Judaic Studies makes a disappointing decision -

December 11, 2017

The merits of print journalism shouldn’t be overlooked -

December 11, 2017

‘Coco’ is a colorful movie with a refreshing culture -

December 11, 2017

Tips to help manage stress during finals -

December 11, 2017

UMass women’s basketball rolls over Fisher College 121-38 in a record setting affair -

December 10, 2017

Hailey Leidel catches fire, breaks program record for 3-pointer’s in 121-38 victory over Fisher College -

December 10, 2017

Hockey Notebook: Jake Gaudet beginning to find his rhythm with UMass hockey -

December 10, 2017

Pipkins’ scoring outburst leads UMass past Providence -

December 9, 2017

Second half run leads UMass men’s basketball over Providence -

December 9, 2017

Students vote ‘yes’ for Student Union renovations -

December 8, 2017

Editorial: Our shift to a primarily digital world -

December 7, 2017

Writer and Black Lives Matter activist Shaun King speaks at Amherst College -

December 7, 2017

Berk goes berserk for butterscotch pudding

Flickr/Random Michelle

Editor’s note: This is a satirical piece. Happy Friday!

A surplus of butterscotch pudding has been the reason for the many happy eaters at the Berkshire Dining Commons. This semester, butterscotch pudding has been happily stocked next to the red cubed gelatin in the refrigerated foods section of Berk.  Delighted college students have been itching to get their hands back on the pudding ever since it came out for a short time last year. Vanilla and chocolate have been doing a good job, but the recent addition of pistachio and butterscotch has brought the diversity of choices to a new, Berk-approved level.

Thought to be a mistake of ordering too much pudding, it turns out the cause of the excess pudding is a plan to give the dining common a more home-like feel.

“Remember when grandma would whip up a batch of butterscotch pudding, and then from her coffee table take the butterscotch hard candies and put them in too?” recalls Dillon Marver, a Berk employee. “It’s just what these wacky kids need after a night of rowdiness, a little lovin’ from a sensible grandmother.”

Successfully, butterscotch pudding is becoming a popular trend with students.

“I try not to eat too much of it” comments Gina Kapner, a sophomore biology major who has never even tried the pudding. “I don’t want to conform with all the people that eat it, but to be honest, sometimes I just do it to look cool.”

She quickly adds, “don’t put that part in the paper, OK?” OK, Gina.

When asked how long the butterscotch binge will last, Berkshire Dining Commons commented that, “it could be another two or three weeks before the fad ends.”

They also hinted that a butterscotch week is in the planning stages.  So get ready for Butterscotch Bonanza, UMass.  I can’t wait to indulge in everyone’s favorite, butterscotch pizza!

Ben Richman is a Collegian contributor. He can be reached at brichman@student.umass.edu.

Leave A Comment