Scrolling Headlines:

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August 19, 2017

Preseason serves as opportunity for young UMass men’s soccer players -

August 13, 2017

Amherst Fire Department website adds user friendly components and live audio feed -

August 11, 2017

UMass takes the cake for best campus dining -

August 11, 2017

Two UMass students overcome obstacles to win full-ride scholarships -

August 2, 2017

The guilt of saying ‘guilty’ -

August 2, 2017

UMass tuition set to rise 3-4 percent for 2017-2018 school year -

July 18, 2017

PVTA potential cuts affect UMass and five college students -

July 10, 2017

New director of student broadcast media at UMass this fall -

July 10, 2017

Whose American Dream? -

June 24, 2017

Man who threatened to bomb Coolidge Hall taken into ICE custody -

June 24, 2017

Cale Makar drafted by Colorado Avalanche in first round of 2017 NHL Entry Draft -

June 24, 2017

Conservatives: The Trump experiment is over -

June 17, 2017

UMass basketball lands transfer Kieran Hayward from LSU -

May 18, 2017

UMass basketball’s Donte Clark transferring to Coastal Carolina -

May 17, 2017

Report: Keon Clergeot transfers to UMass basketball program -

May 15, 2017

Despite title-game loss, Meg Colleran’s brilliance in circle was an incredible feat -

May 14, 2017

UMass softball loses in heartbreaker in A-10 title game -

May 14, 2017

Navy sinks UMass women’s lacrosse 23-11 in NCAA tournament second round, ending Minutewomen’s season -

May 14, 2017

UMass softball advances to A-10 Championship game -

May 13, 2017

Berk goes berserk for butterscotch pudding

Flickr/Random Michelle

Editor’s note: This is a satirical piece. Happy Friday!

A surplus of butterscotch pudding has been the reason for the many happy eaters at the Berkshire Dining Commons. This semester, butterscotch pudding has been happily stocked next to the red cubed gelatin in the refrigerated foods section of Berk.  Delighted college students have been itching to get their hands back on the pudding ever since it came out for a short time last year. Vanilla and chocolate have been doing a good job, but the recent addition of pistachio and butterscotch has brought the diversity of choices to a new, Berk-approved level.

Thought to be a mistake of ordering too much pudding, it turns out the cause of the excess pudding is a plan to give the dining common a more home-like feel.

“Remember when grandma would whip up a batch of butterscotch pudding, and then from her coffee table take the butterscotch hard candies and put them in too?” recalls Dillon Marver, a Berk employee. “It’s just what these wacky kids need after a night of rowdiness, a little lovin’ from a sensible grandmother.”

Successfully, butterscotch pudding is becoming a popular trend with students.

“I try not to eat too much of it” comments Gina Kapner, a sophomore biology major who has never even tried the pudding. “I don’t want to conform with all the people that eat it, but to be honest, sometimes I just do it to look cool.”

She quickly adds, “don’t put that part in the paper, OK?” OK, Gina.

When asked how long the butterscotch binge will last, Berkshire Dining Commons commented that, “it could be another two or three weeks before the fad ends.”

They also hinted that a butterscotch week is in the planning stages.  So get ready for Butterscotch Bonanza, UMass.  I can’t wait to indulge in everyone’s favorite, butterscotch pizza!

Ben Richman is a Collegian contributor. He can be reached at brichman@student.umass.edu.

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