Scrolling Headlines:

‘Stopping Genocide and Mass Atrocities by Stopping the War Profiteers’ talk at UMass -

February 19, 2017

UMass hockey falls to No. 6 UMass Lowell for third time this season -

February 18, 2017

UMass hockey breakdown in final minutes of the second period on route to 5-2 loss to UMass Lowell -

February 18, 2017

Notebook: Jack Gibbs stars as UMass men’s basketball team drops game to Davidson Saturday -

February 18, 2017

UMass men’s basketball drops another close game, falls to Davidson Saturday afternoon -

February 18, 2017

Local blogger Larry Kelley dies in car crash, remembered by community -

February 18, 2017

REPORT: UMass football to name Ed Pinkham as next defensive coordinator -

February 18, 2017

UMass students skip class to stand in solidarity with undocumented immigrants and refugees -

February 18, 2017

NPR Education Correspondent Eric Westervelt talks on future of education -

February 18, 2017

Faculty of journalism department discusses failures of journalism during Trump era -

February 16, 2017

UMass hockey prepares for third and final match-up against No. 6 UMass Lowell on Saturday -

February 16, 2017

Panelists hold discussion on embodying global coalitions -

February 16, 2017

Journalist speaks on criminalization of youth in the United States -

February 16, 2017

UMass women’s lacrosse heads to Florida in search of first win of 2017 -

February 16, 2017

UMass men’s lacrosse looks to get offense back on track against Ohio State -

February 16, 2017

Duquesne stomps UMass men’s basketball 96-66 in Pittsburgh -

February 16, 2017

UMass softball focuses on mental approach ahead of Madeira Beach Invitational -

February 16, 2017

UMass women’s basketball drops eighth straight in loss at Richmond -

February 16, 2017

‘50 Shades Darker’ steams up all windows in the nation -

February 16, 2017

’20th Century Women’ is a love letter to women across generations -

February 16, 2017

Berk goes berserk for butterscotch pudding

Flickr/Random Michelle

Editor’s note: This is a satirical piece. Happy Friday!

A surplus of butterscotch pudding has been the reason for the many happy eaters at the Berkshire Dining Commons. This semester, butterscotch pudding has been happily stocked next to the red cubed gelatin in the refrigerated foods section of Berk.  Delighted college students have been itching to get their hands back on the pudding ever since it came out for a short time last year. Vanilla and chocolate have been doing a good job, but the recent addition of pistachio and butterscotch has brought the diversity of choices to a new, Berk-approved level.

Thought to be a mistake of ordering too much pudding, it turns out the cause of the excess pudding is a plan to give the dining common a more home-like feel.

“Remember when grandma would whip up a batch of butterscotch pudding, and then from her coffee table take the butterscotch hard candies and put them in too?” recalls Dillon Marver, a Berk employee. “It’s just what these wacky kids need after a night of rowdiness, a little lovin’ from a sensible grandmother.”

Successfully, butterscotch pudding is becoming a popular trend with students.

“I try not to eat too much of it” comments Gina Kapner, a sophomore biology major who has never even tried the pudding. “I don’t want to conform with all the people that eat it, but to be honest, sometimes I just do it to look cool.”

She quickly adds, “don’t put that part in the paper, OK?” OK, Gina.

When asked how long the butterscotch binge will last, Berkshire Dining Commons commented that, “it could be another two or three weeks before the fad ends.”

They also hinted that a butterscotch week is in the planning stages.  So get ready for Butterscotch Bonanza, UMass.  I can’t wait to indulge in everyone’s favorite, butterscotch pizza!

Ben Richman is a Collegian contributor. He can be reached at brichman@student.umass.edu.

Leave A Comment