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UMass women’s lacrosse cruises toward regular season A-10 championship with win over Richmond -

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UMass softball hits the road for big test at Dayton -

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Long-time campus radio host banned from WMUA, status of station adviser unclear -

Friday, April 24, 2015

Celebrating 125 years at the Daily Collegian -

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Thursday, April 23, 2015

UMass blanked by Boston College in Beanpot Championship -

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Second annual yogathon stresses Earth Day ideals to individuals -

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Minutemen look to clinch postseason berth Friday night -

Thursday, April 23, 2015

‘Veep’ returns to HBO in top form -

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Letter: UMass should not require parking permits after 5 p.m. next year -

Thursday, April 23, 2015

With Atlantic 10s looming, UMass hosts its Pre-Conference meet -

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What the Collegian means to us… -

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Fox’s new 10-part mystery show looks promising -

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UMass takes a leap into the world of big data -

Thursday, April 23, 2015

UMass men’s lacrosse seeks redemption for last year’s Delaware loss -

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Friday’s Stand Against Racism events aim to ‘create positive change’ -

Thursday, April 23, 2015

UMass women’s lacrosse looks to end the season perfectly in conference play -

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Benevolent sexism: a devil in disguise -

Thursday, April 23, 2015

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Morning Wood: U2 to perform ‘Blarney’ benefit concert

Morning Wood File Photo

Morning Wood File Photo

This weekend, the ethereal, emotional and empowering notes of timeless songs like “Where the Streets Have No Name,” “With Or Without You” and “Beautiful Day” will ring out across the University of Massachusetts. That’s right, legendary Irish rock band U2 is coming to campus.

Still devastated after the unfathomable tragedies of March 8, “Blarney Blowout,” the University of Massachusetts campus is welcoming with open arms the concert that lead singer Bono promises will “help bring the eyes of the world upon this terrible slight on humanity.”

Citing the shared Irish heritage of both the revelers of Blarney Blowout and the band themselves, Bono announced the show at an emotional press conference. “Of course, every single person at the celebration was Irish, so how could the Edge, Larry, Adam and I ignore this?” Bono asked as he motioned towards his three band mates, who were similarly sober. “These are our brothers and sisters, once I heard about this I knew we had to do something.”

Fully aware of student uproar surrounding the tragedy, Chancellor Kumble R. Subbaswamy exhibited a neutral façade towards the concert. “I am honored that U2 chose to hold a concert on our campus to raise awareness of the students who were affected by this terrible tragedy.” Subbaswamy then added, “Of course, as long as the band realizes that most of the arrests took place off campus, and that the events in no way shape or form reflect the University in any way.”

UMass students were absolutely thrilled for the upcoming concert. “Oh my God, it’s going to be amazing!” said biochemistry major Angie Olson. “I can’t wait to get completely shitfaced and sing along to ‘Beautiful Day’! It’s my favorite song!”

Sports management major Omar Rodriguez-Lopez said “oh my god I’m gonna pregame so hard…” before he turned to his friend and said “dude we should totally f*cking riot during ‘Sunday Bloody Sunday.’ It’ll be f*cking wicked.” Soon after Mr. Rodriguez-Lopez was heard assuring his friends that he is “tight with this guy on the 22nd floor of Kennedy,” and that he could secure sufficient libations for the concert.

U2’s most recent release was the Golden Globe winning single “Ordinary Love,” written as a tribute to the recently deceased Nelson Mandela. Although the song was originally written for one of the most iconic freedom fighters history has ever seen, Bono said that the song “applies just as much to those who fell at Blarney.”

“Mandela bravely fought against an oppressive regime and brutal police. These students also had to face the uncompromising brutality of a regime that wished to suppress their spirit at all cost. So ‘Ordinary Love’ will perfectly fit the atmosphere.”

In a precautionary e-mail sent to the entire student body, Chancellor Subbaswamy warned students of the consequences of alcohol consumption at the event. He also mentioned exactly which fraternity houses and other residential areas would be pre-gaming and serving alcohol, before adding finally, “Whatever you do. Do not go to these areas. Just don’t do it.”

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