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Morning Wood: UMass announces competitive sleeping as newest addition to athletic department
April 1, 2022
Morning Wood: SGA votes to create a new Secretary of Bureaucracy position
By
Chan Cellar
, Morning Wood Correspondent
April 1, 2022
Morning Wood: Brave STEM majors to be honored with national holiday for ‘working harder than everyone else’ in a life they chose
By
Paris Geller
, better than Rory Gilmore
April 1, 2022
Morning Wood: Wind tunnel around library hate crimes student
By
Paige Turner
, Morning Wood Hater
April 1, 2022
Morning Wood: If you can’t beat ‘em, buy ‘em: UMass’ path to becoming a top 10 university
By
Nick Zakhon
, The only opinion that matters
April 1, 2019
Morning Wood: Solve Porta’s legal problems: Rename the restaurant ‘Antonio’s Pasta’
By
Mike Avenatty
, Legal Expert
April 1, 2019
Morning Wood: Do you have a problem? Just drink water
By
Howard Toomas O’Connell
, Constantly Peeing
April 1, 2019
Morning Wood: Subbaswamy summons demon to secure No. 1 Dining
By
Yvonne "That's a French A** Name"
, Has a French last name
April 2, 2018
Morning Wood: John Cena to replace Sam the Minuteman as University mascot
By
Banessa Vayer
, Barbra Streisand's playing card
April 2, 2018
Morning Wood: With his didgeridoo missing, ‘Didgeridude’ didgeri-don’t-doo no mo’
By
Billy Fishkins
, Local Dunkin Donuts worker
April 2, 2018
Morning Wood: Cale Makar signs pro contract, leaves UMass after one season
By
Pierre McGuire
, Avid Hockey player card collector
April 2, 2018
Morning Wood: Being tall makes you better than other people
By
Rand Smiley
, Former Chipotle Employee
April 2, 2018
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