FACTORY 81
Mankind
Mojorecords

Many of you dedicated Collegian readers may know me from my music reviews of Christina Aguilera, 2gether, and 98 Degrees. However, the days of me writing articles about this worthless kind of fluff music are over. This is due to the fact that I was recently held at gunpoint by Music Editor Mike Delano, who threatened my life if I reviewed another “crap” album. He told me it is time for me to stop writing drivel and start writing art. Therefore, I have chosen to review the new album Mankind by the metal group Factory 81.

Eager to bring a new sound to the Detroit metal scene, Factory 81 was formed roughly two years ago. Consisting of Andy (drums) Kevin (bass), Bill (guitar), and Nathan (vocals), the quartet possesses a heavy sound, with “an undertone of new school hardcore.” Influenced by the likes of Earthcrisis, Hatebreed, and Strife, Factory 81 serves up a hearty helping of angst with a side of nothing else. Chracterized by heavy guitar riffs and in-your-face lyrics that will probably scare small children and old ladies, the tracks on Mankind are like a kick in the teeth, or a brick to the back of the head, or maybe like getting shot in the face.

Although sometimes a bit abstract, for the most part Factory 81 is easy to understand: they are bunch of pissed off dudes. Political Statements abound on Mankind. They show no love at all for law enforcement in “Police Officer,” the album’s champion track about, as one might expect, being harassed by police officers. Racism and Nazism in particular are ripped to shreds in “Belligerence.” Religion is the target in “Sludge.” And “Diary of a Serial Killer” is about a serial killer that is writing a diary, I guess, but I couldn’t hear what the guy was saying expect for “ARRRRRRRR,” “You’ll never fuck me,” and “MRRRAAAWWW.” Seriously, Nathan’s vocals sound frightening and demonic. I was scared. To a novice (not me, of course), most of the tracks sound a heck of a lot like the one before it. But, if you like your music hard and heavy without apologies you’ll like this album.

I think it’s safe to say Mankind makes me want to get in the pit and try and love someone. No more hip-hop and pop music for me: now, thanks to this album, I’m all about the hardcore metal. My new plan is to pierce my body and dedicate my entire life to metal. I can’t wait to go a metal concert, get in the mosh pit, and get the absolute crap kicked out of me. I can’t wait to have someone elbow me as hard as they can in the face, then maybe take a steel chair or maybe even a brick and beat me upside the head. Then, maybe, if I’m lucky I can even get powerbombed through a wooden table. At the end of the night, after taking a severe beating, I will look at myself in the mirror and vomit all over my disgusting carcass.