The pungently terrible odor contained within this Nirvana tribute smells like something much worse than bleach. This album gives the term ‘bad music’ a new definition.
First of all, Nirvana was not punk, and now we know why. Nirvana may have helped promote such punk contemporaries as Green Day and, later, Papa Roach, but they were certainly not punk themselves. Nirvana was described as hard, alternative and grunge rock. They could never have embraced the skater trends or other things that went along with the punk scene. Nirvana (specifically Kurt Cobain) was depressed, miserable and morbid. Punk music is not supposed to be any of those things.
The very first track on the album, ‘Come as You Are,’ performed by Vibrators, makes listeners want to press ‘stop’ very quickly. At least they are able to get most of the lyrics right. ‘And, I swear that don’t have a gun…no I don’t have a gun…’ Lord, I wish I did.
A band called Blanks 77 contributes their butchering of ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit.’ It should be against the law to annihilate such a great and celebrated song. Blanks 77 take what was basically a revolutionary concept in alternative rock and turned it into a Suicide Machines special. The sad truth is that this band couldn’t hold a candle to the absolute worst of today’s popular punk bands. Blink-182 they are not.
Perhaps the most disturbing track on the album is Vice Squad’s ear-bleeding evocation of nails on a chalkboard, otherwise known as ‘Lithium.’ The ambiguity of the lead singer’s sex lends an eerie misunderstanding of the original song’s clearly patent masculinity, ruining the flavor of Kurt Cobain’s music. You can’t do that! Sadly, ‘Lithium’ is the only song on the album that is a sincere attempt at sticking to a similar sound of the Nirvana version.
As if Smells Like Bleach could not get any worse, a band called DOA takes ‘All Apologies,’ and somehow turns it into a Twisted Sister, ‘We’re Not Gonna Take It’ ballad. It seems like something that would otherwise be impossible, but it’s right there in a massive wave of unacceptability.
Smells Like Bleach is every Nirvana’s fans worst nightmare. If examined as anything more than a joke, it disappoints on thousands of different levels. Artistically it’s boring, and the concept of turning all of the band’s songs into punk atrocities was a pitiful and stupid idea.
If you like Nirvana, you certainly will not enjoy this album. If you like punk music, you’ll like it even less. If you like quality music, you will laugh at this album. If you like bashing your head against a tree, go ahead and do it, because you’ll get more enjoyment out of doing that than you will from listening to this massacre of what was once considered the most tremendous music of our generation.
