For years, University of Massachusetts gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender [GLBT] students and faculty have taken part in the Stonewall Center Speakers Bureau. As speakers, they share their experiences with members of the local community, and try to expand awareness of the issues of sexual difference.

Zan Goncalves, a doctoral candidate in the UMass English Department, joined the Speakers Bureau in 1994. She decided to write her PhD thesis, “Speaking Our Truths: Literacy, Sexuality, and Social Action,” on the experiences of her fellow speakers. Yesterday afternoon, Goncalves delivered a lecture, “Insiders, Outsiders and the Discourse of Social Action,” as part of the LGBT Studies Lunch Lecture Series. The lecture was based on her thesis research.

“As speakers, I think we can benefit from examining the language we use,” she said. “It carries with it ways of thinking. Discourse defines what is normal.

“Homophobic discourse,” she continued, “defines heterosexuality as the true, good experience of sexuality. Conversely, it defines homosexuality as bad or false. It positions people who identify as homosexual as criminals or sinners. It defines our reality.”

Goncalves asserted that one of the goals of the speakers is to counter homophobic discourse.

“We use personal stories,” she said. “We both help our audiences identify with us, and build bridges between insider and outsider territories.”

She described how students would position themselves as “insiders.” They could, for example, talk about their traditional families, or their status as UMass students, hoping to introduce points that audiences would identify with. They might also, however, describe growing up as “outsiders,” and the alienation that they felt based on their sexuality.

“We would make our audience think, ‘What am I, an insider or an outsider too?” Goncalves said.

She added that speakers would sometimes inadvertently use homophobic discourse.

“Once, two speakers were asked if they believed that homosexuality was biological or environmental – the old nature or nurture question,” she said. “One said, ‘I would never have chosen this.’

“It was clear that they would have preferred to be anything but gay.”

In addition to delivering her lecture, Goncalves opened up the floor for comments and questions by attendees.

Denise Beaudet, a Northampton resident, expressed gratitude that unintentional homophobia was mentioned.

“It makes me cringe whenever I hear someone say, ‘I never would have chosen to be gay,'” she said. “I feel you choose everything you are, by choosing to accept yourself. I accepted it – I said yes.”

The subject of inclusion within the confines of the GLBT world was also addressed.

“Did you notice insider/outsider conflicts within the gay community?” asked Joseph Derosier, a sophomore Social Thought and Political Economy major.

“It happens around race a lot,” Goncalves said. “There are also a lot of transgendered people who feel like they’re on the outside of gay culture.”

Daria Fisk, an assistant coordinator of Labor/Management Workplace Education Programming, asked Goncalves about the place of bisexuals in the insider/outsider discourse.

“It seems problematic in both communities,” Fisk said. “Do you think that [the discourse] is a tricky thing that bisexual people find themselves in?”

Goncalves responded that bisexuals often feel oppressed by both gays and straights.

“As long as we think that difference makes us outsiders, then there’s always going to be oppression,” Goncalves said. “There’s a whole discourse about bi-phobia. There’s even more of it, perhaps, in the gay community than the straight community.”

Senofer Stead, a junior double-major in Spanish and BDIC, commented that bisexuals often feel devalued by gays.

“It’s often seen as ‘just a phase,'” she said. “People say, ‘We’ll give you some time, and you can decide if you’re with us or not.'” She described how, earlier that morning, she overheard someone say, “Straight is straight, and gay is gay, but bisexual is just trendy.”

Goncalves is in the process of finding a publisher for her thesis, and is in talks with the University of Nebraska Press. She hopes, however, to find a way to make her thesis readily available to students and professors.

The Lunch Lecture series will not be held next week. It will continue on Friday, Oct. 19, when Chantal Nadeau, a professor of communication studies at Concordia University, will present, “The Sexual Borders of a Nationalist Agenda: Bill 32 and Same-Sex Partnership in Quebec.”