What a “Monday Night Football” game; I would have lost a bundle on that one – if, that is, I had a bundle to lose.

It’s just amazing that the Eagles were able to win without star quarterback Donovan McNabb, who many considered one player that team just couldn’t lose. So Rob Johnson, I mean Noah Wyle, I mean Ty Detmer, I mean Teen Wolf, I mean…who was that hippie-looking guy playing quarterback for the Eagles Monday?

Oh right, Koy Detmer, who did his best impersonation of a guy with talent, was under center for Andy Reid’s team. Detmer was impressive, completing 18-of-26 pass attempts for 227 yards and two touchdowns and running for another score. Detmer hurt his non-throwing elbow in the win, but third-stringer A.J. Feeley (who?) threw for another score in the team’s 38-17 butt whipping over San Francisco.

So, is it the system or the quarterback?

I honestly don’t know anymore, maybe next week Reid will let Mr. Ed take some snaps so we can finally answer the question.

My fantasy team

Lonesome Sundays made it five wins in a row this week behind an amazing performance from Priest Holmes, the best player in fantasy football. My record is now up to 7-5 and I sit in a tie for second place. With one week left in the regular season and a one-game deficit between Sundays and the first-place team, there’s still a shot, baby.

Then come the playoffs.

Just one thing scares me about the playoffs; I’m like Jim Mora in fantasy football playoffs. No matter how good my team is or what kind of roll it is on, I can’t win in the playoffs. Last year, my team was easily the best in my division. It was putting up amazing points each of the last five weeks heading into the postseason and then everyone sucked for round one and I got my rear kicked by the fourth place team.

That will cause you to lose some sleep. Trust me on this one.

If this was college football…

Here is how my top five would look (there are only five because I’m tired and I want to go home for Thanksgiving):

1. Tampa Bay (9-2) – The grudge matches were already going strong between the Bucs and the Packers, but after this week’s insanity involving Packers coach Mike Sherman and Tampa lineman Warren Sapp, this is going to start getting ugly. The Bucs have the best defense in the league and the offense is doing enough to win. I don’t expect them to go far in the playoffs, but they deserve this spot for now – they are 8-1 since a week one overtime loss to New Orleans.

2. Oakland (7-4) – If the playoffs started today, the Raiders would have to be the favorites to win it all. They are, by far, the hottest team in the NFL right now and Rich Gannon is unstoppable.

Apparently, the prune juice is helping.

Don’t believe the hype, though. Come playoff time, the old folks will be looking for their blankets and cowering from teenagers once again.

3. Philadelphia (8-3) – Okay, I’m a believer now. If you can win at San Francisco with that little runt at quarterback, you can be in my top three for the week.

Obviously, the Ewing Theory is in full effect here. Next week’s game against St. Louis will tell us a lot about both teams.

4. Atlanta (7-3-1) – It isn’t last week’s 41-0 destruction of Carolina that gets the Falcons up to number four on the list, but the fact that Michael Vick, and company haven’t lost in seven games and the remainder of their schedule is the following: Minnesota, Tampa Bay, Seattle, Detroit and Cleveland. This team should definitely win 11 games.

And then lose in their first postseason game.

5. Green Bay (8-3) – The Packers have dropped their last two games, last week’s to Tampa and the week before to a terrible Minnesota team. But they have the best quarterback on the planet and a strong running game and, probably with the help of Warren Sapp, turn this thing around.

Green Bay really has nothing to worry about, as they remain five games up in the NFC North with five to play.

Gimme pick of the week

St. Louis at Philadelphia – This one seems easy to me. There is no way that the Rams are going to lose next week in Philly, especially with Koy Detmer’s injured arm. The Rams have to win out to make the playoffs at this point and have too much talent to drop their seventh game of the year with their backs against the wall. I’m willing to guess that the Rams will be an underdog in this one, so take the Rams and the points, because they are going to win straight-up anyway.

The race for Byron Leftwich, Maurice Clarett, or whoever else…

Cincinnati is running away with the award known as the No. 1 pick. It is likely that the Bengals would ruin quarterback Byron Leftwich’s career by selecting him as the first overall pick in June’s NFL Draft.

The Bungals were leading Pittsburgh 17-14 at the half, but the front office reminded the players which team they work for and, of course, they managed to blow the lead and the game to fall to 1-10.

Cincy was helped by the “Someone Has to Win” Bowl between the atrocious Detroit Lions and the scummy Chicago Bears. The Lions, who came into the game with three losses, tricked the Bears – who had just two losses – into trying for one offensive drive and pulled out the upset loss, 20-17 in overtime.

It was a stroke of genius for Detroit coach Marty Mornhinweg to take the wind after winning the coin toss in overtime, thereby giving the Bears the ball. I mean, even the Bears couldn’t mess that one up. Mornhinweg later tried to cover up his blatant attempt to get Clarett by telling the press that he had full confidence in his defense up to that point – after they gave up 10 points to Chicago in the fourth quarter to even force overtime! What does he take us for, a bunch of morons? Obviously he was trying to give that one away. And now, both teams have three wins.

The expansion Houston Texans also earned their third win of the season with a 16-14 win over the Giants. Those two extra points came from, you guessed it, a safety. I guess being a new organization means that you can’t even lose when you need to. This team obviously needs that first pick, but they can’t even get that right.

So the Bengals are doing a great job, up two games for the No. 1 pick with just five weeks to go. Congratulations to Jon Kitna, Peter Warrick, Corey Dillon and everyone else who made this amazing run possible.