Everyone knows a Jessica. If you watch “Laguna Beach,” then you know what I’m talking about. She’s the girl in your group of friends who dates a Jason. Jason was cool at first, and then turns out to be not-so-cool. Jessicas never see it. Somehow, this used-to-be-cool Jason is still seen by her as amazing, so when he stops picking up her calls or when he’s not IMing her online, she doesn’t choose to kick him to the curb. Instead, she turns to her friends for support.

The friends obligingly sit there and analyze with the Jessica until there’s a viable excuse to give the Jason the benefit of the doubt, but soon a one-time occasion becomes a whole bunch of occasions. Suddenly, the formerly obliging friends interrupt and say, “I don’t like him.”

As soon as a girl decides she doesn’t like a friend’s choice in men, anything good said before that moment is null and void. The army comes out, and as the friend you’re in danger of making Jessica feel like she was crazy to pick him to begin with. There’s a better way.

As the friends, it’s vitally important to help the blinded-by-lust (which she mistakenly thinks is love) Jessica ease off of her latest crush. Here’s how.

Jessicas generally suffer from a low sense of self-worth. That shouldn’t be too hard to figure out. Why else would she put up with such poor treatment from someone who is obviously no longer worth the time of day? As the friend of a Jessica, you can’t simply announce that the Jason is a jerk and that she should get over him. The strategy is to talk her down off the ledge, and back to rational thinking, so she eventually comes to the decision herself.

Sit down with her as the good, caring friend that you are. She may resist at first, but tell her it’ll help. Have her take a piece of paper and label one side “pros” and the other “cons.” Then have her list as many things about the Jason that she can. At the end, she’ll have more cons than pros. If she didn’t, she wouldn’t be at this point anyway. Putting things down on paper can put things into perspective, as the emotions tied in with those thoughts are no longer mixed in. It’s black and white. Your Jessica can see it and come to the conclusion herself that the guy is lame and needs to go find someone much less fabulous than herself to confuse.

When she’s done this, you can gently add that you think she can do so much better – and that the Jason is an idiot for not realizing what he had in the first place. She’ll probably still be really emotional about things, but that’ll pass eventually. Once she herself starts to realize that Jason isn’t exactly the perfect male specimen she once thought he was, she’s actually begun the process of moving on – or as I prefer to call it, moving up. Moving up is a much better phrase, because chances are the next guy she meets will be cooler than the guy she’s currently stressing over. At least we can hope that he won’t cause her as much stress.

After she’s made the list of the pros and cons, have her turn it over and make a list of what she wants in her dream guy. Through this process she’ll see that he’s a lot less than her ideal, and that there’s still more to hope for. Then, ask her if she’d trade her dream guy for the guy who’s been broken down into pros and cons. If she says yes, you’ll have to wait a few days and try again, but if she has any rational thought left in her poor confused head, she’ll say no, and then you can jokingly tell her to quit wasting her time and go find the dream hottie.

It’s common for relationships to start out really well and crumble as time goes on. The two realize they’re not that compatible, some flaws start to show or whatever else. As a friend with no emotional involvement, you can see that Jessica is taking crumbs from Jason, when she should really be getting the whole cookie, and it’s not just that Jessica deserves better – even though she does – because she’s your friend. Everyone deserves better than crumbs. Never settle unless you’re getting the whole cookie.

And don’t lose hope that your Jessica friend can grow out of her ways. It takes time, but it can be done. Show her how awesome she is, take her out and flirt with a bunch of guys, and prove that, astonishingly, other guys exist besides her Jason.