Massachusetts Daily Collegian

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A free and responsible press serving the UMass community since 1890

Massachusetts Daily Collegian

A free and responsible press serving the UMass community since 1890

Massachusetts Daily Collegian

Summer movie preview

Courtesy imdb.com

As the semester dwindles down to a flurry of hasty goodbyes and off-the-cuff final papers, we of the arts and living section of the Massachusetts Daily Collegian are thinking ahead to the grand beyond. Summer, with its infinite possibilities, doesn’t just provide the chance to gorge on Dad’s burnt barbeque and PBR-fueled beach bonfires – it’s also home to the season film fans of all ages look forward to most. It is the season of the summer blockbuster.

With audience favorites Indiana Jones and Carrie Bradshaw making long-awaited returns and Heath Ledger building buzz as the Joker in the upcoming “Dark Knight,” it’s all we can do to keep from pacing. How else have we managed to deal with our excitement? By assembling a preview of the most anticipated films the summer has to offer.

“Speed Racer”

Release: May 9

Starring: Emile Hirsch, Christina Ricci, John Goodman

Oh boy, oh Wachowski brothers. By the time this preview finds you, “Speed Racer” will have already made the leap to the silver screen, with the brothers trailing not too far behind. The fearsome duo returns for another crack at directing, this time with a live-action version of the 1960s Japanese cartoon “Speed Racer.”

Their first venture since the ill-fated “Matrix” trilogy, the film’s swirling colors and dazzling gadgetry replicate the experience of being dipped into a vat of candy. But as storytelling goes, the Wachowski brothers prove they still haven’t bested the learning curve.

The cast has its heavy hitters, but the story loses out to the style. As Speed, Emile Hirsch grounds the fast-moving plot in some reality, yet his kid brother and his pet chimp make for the most annoying on-screen presence since Jar Jar Binks in Episode I.

“The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian”

Release: May 16

Starring: Ben Barnes, William Mosley

Hitting theatres this Friday is the long-awaited sequel to the 2005 box-office smash “The Chronicles of Narnia,” based on the series of fantasy novels written by acclaimed author C.S. Lewis. The Pevensie siblings are magically transported back to Narnia from England. Upon their arrival, an even greater test of courage and faith awaits the children, as they come to realize 1,300 years have passed in Narnian time. The Telmarines have conquered Narnia and evil King Miraz has been appointed to rule the land.

The children meet a new character, Prince Caspian, who has been forced into hiding as his uncle, King Miraz, wants to kill him and appoint his own son as predecessor to the throne. Peter and Prince Caspian then embark on a mission to seek out Aslan and salvage their precious Narnia. Fans are jumping out of their skin in anticipation and with hopes for more jam-packed action-adventure sequences.

“Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull”

Release: May 22

Starring: Harrison Ford, Shia LaBoeuf, Cate Blanchett

It’s been almost 20 years since the last Indy installment, “The Last Crusade,” was released in theaters. Steven Spielberg has since gone on to win Oscars, but that hasn’t dimmed his affection for the serial-inspired franchise.

Set in 1959, the film pits Indy against new adversaries: the Soviet Union. Cate Blanchett is on hand to star as the film’s bob cut-sporting villain Irina Spalko, who seeks the power of the crystal skull of Akator. Guarded by an army of the undead, legend supposes that the skull grants ultimate power.

Fans dismissive of Ford’s age should recall Sean Connery in “The Last Crusade,” who more than kept up with the younger competition. As insurance, the studio has recruited Shia LeBoeuf, just in case the sexagenarian fails to capture the interest of that coveted young adult demographic. Indy’s “Raiders” love interest, played by Karen Allen, also resurfaces.

But of greater risk than age or hackneyed adventures, the perils of commercialism await. Burger King, Dr. Pepper and Mars are all advertising with the Indiana name. While it’s easy to disparage such cheap endorsement, at least we can say the mint M’Ms and coconut Indiana Jones-inspired candy bars sound scrumptious.

“Sex and the City”

Release: May 30

Starring: Sarah Jessica Parker, Chris Noth

The fab four are back. No, not the Beatles. Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker), Samantha (Kim Cattrall), Charlotte (Kristin Davis) and Miranda (Cynthia Nixon) return, setting their Manolos to the streets of New York once more in the big-screen version of the HBO series. Trouble may have lurked behind the scenes, but that’s all in the past.

From trailers, we can gauge that Big leaves Carrie at the altar, forcing our favorite sex columnist to reconsider romance in the Big Apple. Meanwhile, Charlotte gets her long-awaited baby, and Oscar winner Jennifer Hudson joins the cast as Carrie’s personal assistant. But with more details come more questions. Does Mr. Big die? Does Steve really cheat on Miranda? Is Samantha finally going to settle down? In this the chick flick to end all chick flicks? Plenty of “what ifs” abound.

“You Don’t Mess with the Zohan”

Release: June 6

Starring: Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider

Could a movie that has Adam Sandler playing an Israeli secret agent turned hairstylist be the big return to form we’ve all been waiting for? Well only time will tell but if the movie is half as funny as the preview looks, it has the potential to be one of the funniest Sandler movies since the Backstreet Boys were still selling albums.

Armed with his usual cast of characters, including Rob Schneider and Henry Winkler (as himself, of course), this premise might just straddle the line between tasteful and tasteless enough to be a crowd pleaser. Dennis Dugan takes the directing duties for the second Sandler film in a row after last year’s “I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry,” and hopefully this movie will improve upon that collaboration, which was mildly amusing at best. Worst-case scenario, this movie may be a “Zoolander” rehash that could burst Sandler’s comeback balloon.

“The Mother of Tears”

Release: June 6

Starring: Asia Argento, Moran Atias

Italian Master of Horror Dario Argento is back this June with the final installment in his “Three Mothers” trilogy, the first two being 1977’s “Suspira” and 1980s “Inferno.”

The somewhat obscure Argento is known for his gory, supernatural horror. He aims to shock the viewer with disturbing amounts and types of violence and in this case, liberal amounts of nudity in the form of model Moran Atias, the titular mother.

Also starring is the director’s daughter, Asia, who plays Sarah, the unwitting victim of Atias’ evil witch and her followers. Sarah must find a way to stop the Mother of Tears from taking over the world, after the unearthing of a vase in Rome leads to her resurrection. The only real horror movie of the summer, the film is sure to provide a healthy dose of slashing and screaming for the horror-junkies among us, at least for those who live near a city where they can catch it – it’s slated for limited release throughout the summer.

“The Happening”

Release: June 13

Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel

The fall from grace has been slow for M. Night Shyamalan, but let there be no bones about it: the once-mighty director has fallen. Thrust into the mainstream following the success of 1999’s “The Sixth Sense,” each subsequent film has proven lesser than the one before it. While “Signs” is an acquired taste – some people love it, others think it’s contrived – the universally reviled “Lady in the Water” set M. Night’s detractors scrambling en masse to take a bite out of the once acclaimed suspense magician. One twist pony? Could be.

Shyamalan aims for Hitchcock, but by now we all know the secret to his plot sphinxes. But maybe, just maybe, he’s still got a few tricks up his sleeve. And maybe the tale of a science teacher (M
ark Wahlberg) waiting out the effects of a global pandemic will be the one to prove it.

“The Incredible Hulk”

Release: June 13

Starring: Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, Tim Roth

Anything promises to be better than the 2003 original starring Eric Bana and Jennifer Connelly. By trailers, at least this entry seems aware that it’s a superhero movie, not “The Caucasian Chalk Circle.” But the recast of Edward Norton in the title role suggests this won’t be just your average popcorn flick, either.

After failing to find a cure for his condition in South America, Bruce Banner (Norton) continues on as a fugitive from the U.S. military. This time around, he’s got bigger things to worry about than capture and quarantine. Tim Roth joins the cast as the Abomination – a former soldier turned mutant mega-Hulk whose rage against Banner knows no bounds. As the two Hulks battle it out, Marvel fans should keep a look out for another Marvel superhero to make his way onscreen. Namely, one in iron.

“The Love Guru”

Release: June 20

Starring: Mike Meyers, Jessica Alba

In his first original character since the third installment of “Austin Powers,” Mike Myers plays Pitka, an American who was abandoned at the gates of ashram in India as a youngster and raised by gurus. Pitka decides to venture back to the United States in hopes of succeeding in the realm of self-help and spirituality.

His conscience is put to the ultimate test when he is forced to settle a scuffle between the Toronto Maple Leaf’s star hockey player, Darren Roanoke (Romany Malco) and his estranged wife. After the couple’s split, Roanoke’s wife begins to date L.A. Kings star Jacques Grande (Justin Timberlake) out of revenge. As a result, Roanoke heads into a career slump, evoking horror onto the Toronto Maple Leaf owner’s Jane Bullard (Jessica Alba) and Coach Cherkov (Verne Troyer).

It’s Pitka’s task to get Roanoke back on his game and lead his team on the path to taking the Stanley Cup. Expectations are not high, as Mike Myers’ clich’eacute; comedic routine became sore to the average movie-goer’s eye after “The Spy Who Shagged Me” and could only utter a grunt come “Goldmember.”

“Get Smart”

Release: June 20

Starring: Steve Carrell, Anne Hathaway

Agent Maxwell Smart is on a mission to put a halt to the latest plot for world domination, courtesy of the evil crime syndicate KAOS. When the headquarters of U.S. spy agency CONTROL is attacked, compromising the identities of all of its agents, the chief (Alan Arkin) is faced with the less-than-pleasing decision to appoint Maxwell Smart.

It has long been Smart’s dream to work in the field among the action and robust Agent 23 (Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson). He is teamed up with the sassy-yet-striking Agent 99 (Anne Hathaway). The duo seek out to complete their mission of squashing Siegfried (Terence Stamp), head of KAOS, and his evil conspiracy.

Despite its corny exterior, let’s give Carrell the benefit of the doubt. “The Office” star has heaps of comedic talent and one can only hope he encompasses that genius this summer in “Get Smart.”

“Wall-E”

Release: June 27

Voices: Sigourney Weaver, Kathy Najimy

Pixar’s offering this summer’s return to the familiar territory of inanimate objects, but instead of cars, this time around it’s robots. “Wall-E,” written and directed by Andrew Stanton (who also did “Finding Nemo”), is the tale of a lonely robot who is left on Earth when all the humans leave for greener pastures.

For the past several centuries, Wall-E has been dutifully picking up trash and collecting tchotchkes, with only a cockroach for companionship, until he encounters a girl robot named EVE and promptly falls in love. He follows EVE back to her mother ship, where he meets a whole slew of robots, as well as the remaining humans, who have been living in space since leaving Terra Firma.

“Wall-E” promises to be just as adorable as Pixar’s previous films such as “Monsters Inc.” and “The Incredibles,” but this film has a bit of a twist: there’s almost no dialog. The robots communicate using beeps, which is no surprise, since the sound designer also created the voice of R2-D2. Like most of Pixar’s movies, this is an underdog story with an uplifting message, but even if the fare is familiar, the film is sure to be just as enjoyable as the other hits in the Pixar Pantheon.

“Wanted”

Release: June 27

Starring: James McAvoy, Angelina Jolie

These days it wouldn’t be summer without a film based on a graphic novel. Following in the tradition of “Sin City” and “300” is “Wanted,” based on the book by Mark Millar.

James McAvoy plays a cubical-dwelling Everyman who joins a mysterious, esoteric group of assassins known as the Fraternity. There, the aptly named Fox, played by Angelina Jolie, trains him to be a swift, slick dealer of death, with the help of Morgan Freeman’s sagely leader Sloan and the other assassins. Wes the Everyman learns how to unlock his inner strength to avenge his father’s death, and ends up discovering how to take control of his own destiny, the force which gives the Fraternity its orders.

“Wanted” is full of potential: the director, Timur Bekmambetov, is wildly successful in Russia, and while the casting of Morgan Freeman as a wise old mentor and Angelina Jolie as a sexy bad-ass babe is a little obvious, it will be interesting to see James McAvoy, previously known for his work in films like “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe,” “The Last King of Scotland,” and “Atonement” take on an action role.

“Hancock”

Release: July 2

Starring: Will Smith, Jason Bateman

Will Smith has never been a superhero, but he has battled the likes of aliens, vampires and Martin Lawrence. He makes his first formal superhero turn as Hancock but his hero is anything but ordinary. An alcoholic mess of superpower with the ability to deflect bullets and fly, he’s more rogue than a pillar of law and justice. Jason Bateman, of “Arrested Development,” plays a publicist recruited by Hancock to help fix his shaky public image.

So the question is, in a summer filled with comic book-certified heroes, can Smith’s Hancock hold his own? With no mythology to pull from and no arch-nemesis to speak of, can film’s sole joke be enough to sustain a full film?

“Hellboy II: The Golden Army”

Release: July 11

Starring: Ron Perlman, Selma Blair

Guillermo del Toro tries to keep his momentum, running after the success of “Pan’s Labyrinth” with “Hellboy II” this summer. The first “Hellboy” was a catastrophe of a movie. The movie barely moves and the characters feel plastic and hollow. But hope is still alive for the comic made movie.

Ron Pearlman returns and Toro has the financial backing, after the success of “Pan’s Labyrinth,” to have all the CGI special effects he would like. The movie shows del Toro’s talent as a makeup and special effects artist.

The major downfall in first film appears to be the same for the second – the movie has far too many characters restricting development. The monsters crashing in left and right create a washer-machine effect, people getting lost in the shuffle. The movie is about Hellboy (Ron Pearlman looking like a human finally) fighting off a rebellion from the mythical world.

“The Dark Knight”

Release: July 18

Starring: Heath Ledger, Christian Bale, Maggie Gyllenhaal

Here’s the one to watch. Hollywood’s No. 4 hitter in this summer’s starting line-up. The buzz has already been growing and will likely continue, as there is already talk of a posthumous Oscar for Ledger’s Joker.

As anyone who has seen the trailer already knows this movie would have been Ledger’s big break, thrusting him into the elite bunch of actors the likes of Leo DiCaprio and Johnny Depp. Ledger looks like a knockout, his make-up smeared, laughing hysterically as Christian Bale swoops into Gotham City to stop him. Not only does Batman have the Joker on his tail, but Aaron Eckh
art also poses a mean threat as one Batman’s other notorious villains Two-Face.

My prediction is not even Batman himself could stop this from being one of the most talked-about movies of the year. Let’s hope it delivers on its promise and then some as the movie not only needs to be a solid blockbuster, but also a fitting tribute to a young star that died too soon.

“X-Files: I Want to Believe”

Release: July 25

Starring: David Duchovny, Gillian Anderson

“The X-Files” makes its, hopefully, triumphant return this summer with the long-awaited second film of the franchise. Details about the movie are extremely sparse and sketchy.

David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson will reprise their roles as FBI agents Fox Mulder and Dana Scully, but beyond that not much is certain. The story apparently hearkens back to the early days of the TV show, with mysterious disappearances and a priest whose visions may hold the key to solving the mystery. The official site contains no plot details whatsoever and a single, extremely vague trailer.

However, writer/director/series creator Chris Carter promises that the new movie will remain true to the mythology of the series and the first film. He has also said that one of the subplots of “I Want to Believe,” will deal with Scully and Mulder’s son, who was given up for adoption before Mulder and Scully went on the run at the end of the series.

This summer’s “X-Files” installment has been in the works for a long time. The series ended in 2002, after running for nine seasons and being nominated for over 60 Emmys. The show declined steeply in the later seasons, but fans hope the hiatus has given the writers space to get back the tongue-in-cheek wit and captivating character development of the show’s best episodes. With three other big sequels coming out this summer, “I Want to Believe” will have some stiff competition. However, the franchise’s cult following combined with the secrecy shrouding the film is sure to make it a success.

“The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor”

Release: Aug 1

Starring: Brendan Fraser, Maria Bello

Joining the ranks of the summer sequel crowd is the newest installment in the “Mummy” franchise. Brendan Fraser returns as the rogue explorer with John Hannah reprising his role as the dopey sidekick, this time journeying to China, new stomping grounds for the franchise, which previously focused on Egypt.

This chapter depicts Fraser traveling to the Far East with his now-grown son, who was last seen as a little boy in 2001’s “The Mummy Returns.” Rachel Weisz is out, supposedly because she wouldn’t play the mother of a 21-year-old; Maria Bello is in. Jet Li plays the titular Mummy, accompanied by the famous Terra Cotta Army.

Following in the tradition established in “The Mummy Returns,” the plot goes back and forth between the current mayhem and the ancient events which led up to them. Also following in the steps of that film, it is once again young Alex who unleashes the villainous mummy, who is once again bent on world domination.

In a summer full of rehashings, reimaginings and revivals, it’s not clear whether we really need another Mummy movie, especially one without Rachel Weisz. Perhaps new-to-the-franchise director Rob Cohen can inject some new life into the series. Even if it’s only on-par with the previous “Mummy” films, “Tomb of the Dragon Emperor” should be fun and enjoyable.

“The Pineapple Express”

Release: August 8

Starring: Seth Rogen

Judd Apatow had his major breakout last August with “Superbad,” which is probably why producers are pushing an August release for his latest movie, “The Pineapple Express.” The movie stars Seth Rogen and James Franco as a stoner and dealer who witness a murder and must go on the run. The ambiguous title might mislead you into thinking that this might be some type of western, or worse, a sequel to “The Polar Express,” but it actually refers to a specific type of refer featured in the movie.

The preview is enough to spark thoughts that this might finally be the definitive Apatow movie, with explosions abound, all set to this summer’s breakout hit “Paper Planes” by M.I.A. Apatow hasn’t taken a swing and missed yet, and with all the right pieces seemingly in place this movie might be this summer’s sleeper blockbuster.

“Tropic Thunder”

Release: August 15

Starring: Ben Stiller, Robert Downey Jr., Jack Black

The winds of fortune are blowing well for Tropic Thunder as it looks like it could be one the summer’s biggest comedy smashes. Ben Stiller takes directing credits for the first time since his cult classic “Zoolander” and with a plot equally as ridiculous, here’s to hoping the formula will make for similar results.

Stiller and Jack Black star in this screwball comedy about actors starring in a Vietnam movie. The only twist is they’ve been dropped into real combat and are forced into becoming the real soldiers that they were supposed to be playing. Black and Stiller haven’t collaborated as major stars yet in a motion picture but the real scene stealer could be Robert Downey Jr. The actor coming off one of the summer’s big box office winners, “Iron Man,” plays a white actor who has a skin graft surgery to play a black military sergeant. Offensive? Maybe. Hilarious? We’ll see.

“Vicky Cristina Barcelona”

Release: August 29

Starring: Penelope Cruz, Javier Bardem, Scarlett Johansson

Lately, Woody Allen’s been hit or miss. The 2005 dark morality tale “Match Point” put the legendary director back on top. Yet Allen’s follow-ups have failed to capitalize on the momentum – both the forgettable “Scoop” and the underrated “Cassandra’s Dream” being passed over by popular audiences. It’s with great excitement that he releases his latest film, starring Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz as a pair of exes working through some sexual hang-ups. Set in Barcelona, rather than Allen’s usual Manhattan, the film promises more eroticism than films past. Reportedly, the film features sex scenes between Cruz, Bardem and Allen’s latest muse, Scarlett Johansson.

The arts staff can be reached at [email protected].

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