Massachusetts Daily Collegian

Don’t ask girls to make you a sandwich

By Lauren Vincent

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Recently, a male Facebook friend of mine became a fan of a Facebook page called “I’m the boy. You’re the girl. Make me a sandwich, or we don’t talk today.”

The first thing that came to my mind when it came up on my News Feed was, gee, how original, a sandwich joke. Then, I became furious. When I typed in “make me a sandwich” in the search box, I was disgusted by how many results I got. One of them is even titled “*backhand* MAKE ME A SANDWICH.” Furthermore, a good majority of the fans of it are girls and women.

What is wrong with our society when females are actually proclaiming themselves as “fans” of domestic abuse and taking on subservient roles to men?

Well, when I drew this to the attention of a few female friends, some agreed with me. But one of them actually said “Oh, lighten up. It’s just a joke.”

Really?

First of all, even if it was “just” a joke, all jokes are rooted in fundamental truths about society. That’s why they’re supposed to be “funny.” 

Secondly, last time I checked, women are not treated the same as men in this society, as much as people would like you to believe that they are treated equally.

Women are still paid less than men in almost all occupations. The only jobs that women earn more than men are – drum roll – modeling and prostitution.

The other night I went to see “The Vagina Monologues” here at the University of Massachusetts. What I saw was a display of women proclaiming themselves as independent and free, and proclaiming it loudly. It was awesome, and it showed just how powerful women can be when they stand up for their rights.

But how is it that there are still so many men out there that think that making jokes about women waiting on them and getting hit as a thank you are funny?

At my high school, sexist jokes were made all the time. Teachers sometimes even laughed at them. This is something that astounds me when I think about it now.

And if an intelligent girl responded, the joker would respond with a witless “Why are you even here, shouldn’t you be in the kitchen?” Or just another request for a sandwich.

The same dynamic is going on in these Facebook groups. When a female responds in the group, guess what? She gets the same dumb responses such as: “You have a computer in your kitchen?” Wow, so clever, guys.

And when one girl dared to make a similar, reversed joke in response, the guys in the group started insulting her, and not about her intelligence, not about her personality, but they insulted her on her appearance. Because that’s the most important thing about a woman.

Forgot that. Next, she was called a lesbian. Because only lesbians stand up for their rights as human beings. I forgot about that one, too.

Feminist backlash has been going on for far too long. And it seems like too many women have taken it to heart. While I identify myself as a feminist, a majority of the girls I know don’t. They believe women should be equal, that we should have the same opportunities as men and be paid as much as them for the same work. But they won’t call themselves feminists. Why? Because feminists don’t shave their armpits, feminists are lesbians, feminists hate men and feminists are too radical.

Yes, asking for what we deserve is so radical. And asking for men to not joke around about backhanding women and demanding things from them is radical, too, and makes you unattractive to men, I guess. Well, if a man finds that unattractive, why would any woman care?

I don’t mean to generalize about men. I know that there are males in the world that don’t find this funny, that respect their girlfriends and listen to what women have to say. I know that there are males that identify themselves as feminists.

And I actually realized that the first page I mentioned is in response to a page called “I’m the girl. You’re the boy. You text first or we don’t talk today.”

I don’t think I have to point out that that page is ridiculous as well. I’m all about equality.

It wouldn’t be so infuriating if there was no meaning behind these jokes. But we live in a world where women are treated as second class citizens, and it’s not acceptable.

These boys need to grow up and learn how to respect women. And these girls need to take a stand against sexism, not get behind it.

Lauren Vincent can be reached at [email protected]

77 Comments

77 Responses to “Don’t ask girls to make you a sandwich”

  1. men on March 3rd, 2010 10:22 am

    awesome, we’ll stop making kitchen and sandwich jokes when you start opening doors for us and buying us diamonds when we get married. also, take a look at the commercials that run on TV stations for women. according to the ads, men are all idiots. i don’t appreciate that as a man.

    it goes both ways lady.

  2. real men on March 3rd, 2010 12:49 pm

    Excellent column.

  3. Zach on March 3rd, 2010 1:41 pm

    I created tis group! aahahahaha.

    I’m not sexist, I have great respect for women, it was honestly just in response to that group, and an honest joke.

  4. Roy on March 3rd, 2010 1:44 pm

    I’m sure if you wanted your fiancee to buy you a diamond ring, you could ask her. Now lets look at commercials that run on TV stations for men. According to those ads, women are all fit, white, have huge breasts, are dumber than Jessica Simpson and are usually depicted as very submissive and sexual. It does go both ways.

    But what I understood from you comment was that you don’t think it is necessary to stop making fun of women with kitchen jokes just because you find commercials on women’s TV stations (do you watch those channels often?) offensive to men. Ok. So why don’t you send a letter to the producers and executives on those shows and tell them that, instead of blaming it on women in general? Most likely the people that choose which commercials get put on TV are the owners – and they are usually multi-million dollar men.

    You found those commercials offensive. I do not watch TV channels geared towards women so I do not know which one’s you are referring to, but I will take your word for it that it offends men. Well, now you know what it feels like when you throw kitchen and sandwich jokes at women. So yes, it does go both ways. Corporations send negative stereotypes to both sides, so why not start pointing the finger at them instead of other groups that have no say in which commercials get put on TV? Do you or I have a choice on what airs on ESPN? Not yet, but that’s because some men spend their time blaming women, which keeps them off the hook. Divide and conquer – it isn’t a technique only used on the war front.

    And the lady who wrote this article has a name, so I would suggest using that if you want more people to take you seriously. Also, not all men use offensive jokes like those against women, so using “men” as your name isnt representative of male society as a whole. Your views are your views, mine are mine, and so on; not everyone else’s. But your points raise important questions as to the motives of the media and how they try to get our money.

  5. Kate on March 3rd, 2010 2:22 pm

    Lauren, you should have immediately dropped any male or female who joined such a sexist facebook group. You don’t want yourself associated with that kind of person. It reflects badly on you and, once you leave college and have more professional contacts on your facebook page, your association with such persons could hurt you. I graduated from UMass 10 years ago and, trust me, I judge my facebook friends by their other friends. You appear undiscerning when you keep such persons as your facebook friends.

    Furthermore, my guess is that like most college students you collect friends (facebooking anyone and everyone you meet). Forgive me if I’m wrong in your case, but that kind of activity is a really bad idea. For one, it opens you up to unnecessary grief and emotional distress every single time you see something written or posted that would never fly in face-to-face conversation. Two, the more people with whom you connect on facebook the more likely you are to see such ugly sentiments.

    Nasty people exist and they always will. Drop these people from your page and save yourself some trouble. Don’t sweat the people who lack character and common sense, especially the women who are no doubt not very bright or interesting if they subscribe to such demeaning ideas about themselves. There are plenty of other people in the world with whom to associate yourself.

  6. Michael on March 3rd, 2010 4:03 pm

    You could dissect this at so many levels. All jokes poke fun at one thing or another, that is how a joke works. I am guilty of having made jokes about all sorts of things, including about my own self and my own heritage. It doesn’t mean people all take this as fact.

    Your militant belief that this is the direction that society needs to move is what is wrong with society. Yes, people should understand that all are created equal, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t enjoy making fun of oneanothers shortcomings

  7. Becky on March 3rd, 2010 5:15 pm

    Hahahaha! I would have to delete all of my guy friends to get rid of everyone I know who joined this group….

    Lol Zach, who knew? How many people joined your lame group anyway?

  8. PATTI on March 3rd, 2010 8:58 pm

    you go lauren i’m making chris read this!

  9. Jimbo on March 3rd, 2010 10:31 pm

    I just don’t think women have found a societal identity that fits. Yes, the days of sandwich making may be over for the majority of females in this generation, but the corporate female does not seem to be the appropriate development either. Anyone who has ever taken the T in Boston or New York know the desperate housewife-watching, bobbed-hair young professional women are not an accurate model of either femininity or citizenry. There exists such extremes, that it seems for women to express themselves, they must find extreme molds.

  10. Ed on March 4th, 2010 8:47 am

    You lost me when you spoke favorably of the Vagina Monologues. WOMEN whom I respect openly refer to it as a lesbian recruitment campaign. I, too, can scream obscenities at the top of my lungs; however, I outgrew that by the fourth grade….

    I digress….

    There is, also, simple biology. Women tend to be nurturers, men tend to be protectors/providers and both tend to enjoy doing such.

    Lets face it folk, there are a LOT of women who enjoy preparing food for their boyfriends/husbands and subsequently family. I am not saying they “must”, I am not saying they “should”, I am just saying that they DO. This is a fact and three generations of feminism hasn’t changed it, only created a niche market for prepared staples like squash & mashed potatoes that women can grab and take home to serve.

    A statistically significant majority of women tend to want to nurture others and that includes preparing them food. And if you look at how little free time some of these women have, it clearly is something of great importance to them as they could afford resturaunts. Instead they invest a valuable resource, time, toward preparing the food themselves.

    You don’t like this? Change biology….

  11. Lauren Vincent on March 4th, 2010 5:35 pm

    Wow, thanks for all the responses! Especially for the supportive ones, haha. Anyway, Ed, I think you missed the point of my column entirely. My point was that women are equal. As a symbol of this, women should not have to prepare food for men. It’s one thing for them to choose to do so. I did not say that women should always refuse making sandwiches for other people. I simply meant I do not want to be asked to do so simply because I am a woman.

    And I recommend taking Sociology 222 with Naomi Gerstel. You will learn that women are not “naturally” nurturing and men do not “naturally” enjoying providing. If that were true, there would not be men that do not provide for their families in the world and there would not be women who do not feel “maternal instincts” which believe it or not, there are. So it’s not biology, it’s a societal construct.

    And “men”- advertising is disproportionately aimed at men. I’ve seen way more objectified women in commercials than men portrayed as idiots.

    Thanks everyone for reading!

  12. Mike S on March 4th, 2010 8:29 pm

    I’d like to suggest that the humor in “I’m the boy. You’re the girl. Make me a sandwich, or we don’t talk today.” is the fact that people realize how false it is.

  13. Ed on March 4th, 2010 10:36 pm

    > And I recommend taking Sociology 222 with Naomi Gerstel.

    And I recommend reading books by Cathy Young, Daphane Patai and Christina Hoff Sommers.

    My personal favorite: They took a bunch of girls and had them play with trucks. The girls created truck “families” with the daddy truck, the mommy truck and the baby trucks.

    Then they gave some boys a dollhouse. The boys had great fun, turning the dollhouse over on its side to make a ramp and launching the dolls into space, in a competitive game.

    Boys & Girls are different and it isn’t just plumbing.

  14. Veronica on March 4th, 2010 11:49 pm

    The article was short but I agree on all points. The fact that people are joining that stupid group is annoying, but the way I see it, I won’t associate with someone who finds that funny. So awesome a simple way of figuring out a mass amount of people I will never associate with or respect. Yay!

    What I really like is your declaration of being a feminist. It’s not an easy thing to do anymore what with it’s demonization over the years. I.E. somehow the media and political pundits made feminism something it wasn’t. I recently heard a girl at the Franklin DC shouting about how she hated her women’s studies class because “It’s like full of lesbians and man haters and even some of the guys say their feminists which isn’t even possible.”

    Alright, first off feminists aren’t man haters. Feminists are just people (yup, even men) who want to challenge gender stereotypes and expectations that limit both men and women in life. They want to see this world for what it really is, and try to fix it for the better.

    Keep up the good work and I hope the Collegian has more insightful articles like this.

  15. men on March 5th, 2010 11:23 am

    lauren, have you really seen more commercials objectifying women or have you just noticed them more because you agree that most men are idiots and deserve to be portrayed as such?

    and is there anything really wrong with making a sandwich for a man? what if a woman wants to make a sandwich for a man? are you saying that they are oppressing their own gender by doing so?

    i can ask my wife to make me a sandwich and she has the equal right to say no.

    it’s also hypocritical to demand equal rights when there are still hundreds of female-only schools, yet feminists get up in arms over places like augusta national golf club and west point for only accepting men. i don’t get that double standard.

    as another point, it’s much easier for women to get grants to pursue research and open a charity/business. there are more resources out there for a female umass grad with ideas than there are for a male umass grad with equally good ideas.

    my point is that you need to look beyond facebook if you truly want to measure equality.

  16. Lauren on March 5th, 2010 8:21 pm

    men, I said that I don’t care if women make sandwiches for men if they want to. everyone should have an equal opportunity to make a choice, and to make a sandwich is a choice. it is a symbol. and I am looking past Facebook which is why I mentioned how women do not get equal pay to men.

    just clearing that up.

  17. Lauren on March 5th, 2010 8:22 pm

    *it was simply a symbol is what i meant instead of it is a symbol, sorry.

  18. jimbo on March 6th, 2010 3:26 pm

    Lauren, I don’t think authors are supposed to defend their articles on the posting board.

    Multimedia Reply:

    We do allow authors to respond to commenters as a way to continue the conversation.

    – Web Staff

  19. Sarah on March 12th, 2010 2:23 pm

    Dude Zach, its crazy how big this thing has become!

  20. Sam on March 12th, 2010 2:50 pm

    HAHAHAHA, When i first got a fb invite to this group I responded no because of the fact that I have a girlfriend and I respect her more than that. As I read this column I saw how some people will take an opportunity to blow something (such as a simple joke) way out of proportion. Saying that making a joke like this constitutes sexism is the same as saying anything that displays the male as the strong protector is sexist. I want to thank you Lauren for bringing this to my attention, I now see it as nothing more than a joke, and I now (after reading your and others opinions) plan to join the group. Hey Zack looks like the all the poor disrespected females will be hating on us…….. so will you make me a sandwich?

  21. Zach on March 14th, 2010 1:50 pm

    Sam, I will gladly make you a sandwhich, but you have like 3 sisters to do it for you :). hahaha just kidding.

  22. Dan on March 15th, 2010 4:00 pm

    People in America often forget how good they have it and become so bored and complacent they feel the need to complain and protest about the most mundane details of there lives, ie. stupid facebook groups.

  23. observer on March 15th, 2010 7:48 pm

    RE: And I recommend reading books by Cathy Young, Daphane Patai and Christina Hoff Sommers.

    Ed, unless any of these authors have studied the behavior of children who have had no contact with the outside world thus removing all societal interactions and effects then you cannot simply say that these children were “born” with thinking this way. If you truly believe that men and women are born with these social constructs built into their minds, you are more ignorant than I would care to believe. No one person is the same, so how could we all somehow be so similar?

  24. Alexis on March 15th, 2010 9:04 pm

    Lauren,

    I have also been noticing the steady uprise of sexist groups on facebook such as “why are women…when they should be in the kitchen” and so on. First of all I thought that it was a harmless joke. then i started reading some of the user comments left of the page and realised that i was completely blind towards the sexism still going on in todays soceity.

    Some people do believe they are enlightened enough to find this sort of thing funny. but do those people realise that there are people out there who genuinely believe in male superiority? would they still find it funny if they realised the type of people they were assosiating with within the groups. ignorant people who take this sort of thing seriously.

    Racism is socially unacceptable. If you asked all of your friends if they were racist all of them (i hope) would say no. however, if you asked your same intelligent, educated friends if they were feminist most of them would say no. feminism just means equal rights, pay, treatment for women as well as men. It affects half the worlds population. the bad name that feminism has is years and years of male backlash.

    it’s all actually very scary.

    ‘men’ i find it difficult to believe that a woman has never opened a door for you. i believe thats just common courtesy holding a door open for someone. i know where i’m from that is practiced equally between sexes.

    i feel as though people get angry and annoyed when women start talking about the feminist question. as if women should be happy with what they’ve got. it is definately better than a hundred years ago. should women settle for getting treated as a cause for contempt, the right to vote and wages as opposed to not even legally a human being with no rights like it was before? or should they continue striving for more? for equal treatment within soceity?

    Those of you who believe women are treated equally within society, i would suggest you think about it a bit more before you give a blind and ignorant answer.

    also, one last thing… @ michael “Yes, people should understand that all are created equal, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t enjoy making fun of oneanothers shortcomings”

    this is what i mean. a short coming.

    So, Lauren, thank you for writing this article. It was very illuminating.

  25. Shauna on March 15th, 2010 9:12 pm

    michael – so being a women is a short coming? in whose opinion? yours? soceities? does your wife/ girlfriend know you have/ are advocating that opinion? did you even realise you had that opinion?

    being a women is commonly believed to be a short coming. it is only once people accept this that soceity can learn from it and advance. by denying the truth we are keeping ourselves in the dark.

    do i sound like a feminist nagging moaning women now? if i was a man would you think differently?

    i could have pretended to be a man but that wouldn’t help anything other than my one point. i thought the days of currer bell were over, but clearly not.

  26. Dan on March 18th, 2010 7:42 pm

    The reality is that, like it or not, men and women are CLEARLY programmed differently. If you disbelieve me, go and do some research about the differences between the male and female brains. Women are naturally much more relationship oriented, and men are naturally more competitive. Biology has written us this way. Unfortunately, radical feminism has decided that all women should become like men to be successful, and that the idea of a woman staying at home to raise a family is of far less value than a woman going out to work. Men are naturally providers and protectors, although sadly, some younger men lack good male role models and use their inbuilt traits wrongly. Men and women should be equal, but in general, many feminists have gone too far believing the only way they can reach this equality is by ridiculing and belittling men and portraying them as monsters. By the way, a very popular t-shirt design springs to mind as I write this – “Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them”. This t-shirt is extremely popular with preteen and teenage girls. I cannot imagine the outcry there would be if one was printed that said “Girls are stupid, throw rocks at them” or anything similar. You must realise that both sides are in the wrong to an extent, but we also need to take some of these jokes for what they are and not overreact.

  27. Alexis on March 19th, 2010 1:25 pm

    @Dan Firstly, I think that “many” feminists do not believe this. A small proportion of extreme feminists believe they are superior to men etc and take it the other way. However, in comparison to the number of men who believe they are naturally superior to women, I think it is negliable. I think there needs to be a certain ammount of allowance for the fact that some people are extremists in this, for both genders. However, the issue here isn’t extremism it is the attidude in general soceity.

    In response to you bringing up the “boys are stupid throw rocks at them” there WAS a massive contraversy about them and ended up getting taken out of most retailers.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boys_are_stupid,_throw_rocks_at_them!_controversy

    Ok so yes my source is wikipedia but i find although it is never entirely accurate i find it a useful summary of things, and i have found it verified at other sources.

    “Glenn Sacks responded to criticism of the campaign, asserting that the criticism was dismissive of the feelings of boys and that the idea that boys should laugh at the joke at their expense creates a “double bind” for boys.”

    So, if boys feel offended by this sort of “joke” why should girls suck it up and laugh about it.

  28. Adam on March 22nd, 2010 10:43 am

    Want to be treated equally? prove that your equal, and no, The vagina monologues or whatever don’t count. i mean, a Female President, Multi Billion dollar businesses run soley buy women, Cure a disease, etc. etc.

  29. Rose on March 26th, 2010 5:35 am

    If men were supposed to be women, and women supposed to be men, then we’d all be one gender.

    There IS a difference between us at least between the majority of us–differences in our brains AND our bodies (thank God, or there’d be no children) and we need to respect each other and those differences.

    One is not BETTER than the other, just…different.

    Unfortunately, a lot of women enjoy using feminine wiles to keep the entities farther apart than what they should be.

    By that, I mean that strippers, hookers, women who show everything the good Lord gave them, have given men the impression that that’s really all we women are. Bodies to be ogled and groped and drooled on.

    And we still have commercials showing women in skimpy bikinis trying to say that this shaver, or that car, (or whatever else you can possibley think of) is the best that there is, and the bikinied body MAKES it so and helps it sell.

    So until women stop STOP doing that, nothing much will change. And women won’t stop doing it for two reasons in particular:
    1. It gives them a sense (or feeling of power) no matter how off kilter that might be.
    2. They can make money doing it.

    Unfortunately, there’s always going to be more women like that than there are feminists who are trying for equality in all things.

    And by the way? Whoever thinks there’s just as many men being objectified as there are women, needs to take notes (and head count) for just one week’s worth of TV–commercials AND shows. Those that objectify women outnumber the men by a FAR margin.

  30. Jay on March 27th, 2010 12:07 pm

    It’s called a meme, or an internet inside joke. You’re taking it far too seriously. You might as well say Charlie the Unicorn or Daft Hands says something incredibly serious about our society.

  31. bigT on March 31st, 2010 10:02 am

    Chivalry is dead because women killed it. Now if I open a door for any woman I do not want her to think I am sexist and go crazy on me. Don’t worry I will hold the door open for men as well. Also last time you went out on a date did you go 50/50 and split the bill or did the man pay for it?

  32. bigT on March 31st, 2010 10:06 am

    I agree with one thing though and that is domestic abuse is no joking matter and should not be taken lightly

  33. Heather on March 31st, 2010 8:50 pm

    Honestly, i think that they are making fun of the male chauvinistic attitude. So they are really making fun of themselves, which in my opinion, is hilarious! =]

  34. Mitch on April 3rd, 2010 6:46 am

    Thank you so much for responding to this…I just saw a friends “add” for this group and was angered. I understand that we live in a country of free speech, but there is a difference in free speech and insulting someone because of their gender.

  35. Rob on April 3rd, 2010 12:28 pm

    Mitch,

    This is a joke. Much like this picture:

    http://www.beholdthemundane.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/life-girl-boy-heart-art-galeri-photo_large.jpg

    I could find that offensive and write an article about how guys shouldn’t be viewed that they only care about having sex. But I can realize that it’s a joke.

    At least this “Make me a sandwich” subject is usually made by guys, so we’re making fun of themselves.

  36. Rusty on April 4th, 2010 6:08 pm

    You’ve got it all wrong, these groups are just for extreme sandwich enthusiasts. I just really, really enjoy sandwiches. Any variety really, as long as there’s no mayo on it. Sometimes I just get a little too frantic when it comes to desiring one. Luckily, I have a lovely girlfriend who is usually quite willing to make me one. She’s great. I think most people who joined that group are in a similar situation.

  37. Zack on April 5th, 2010 9:44 am

    Lighten up… its a Joke. Women make plenty of Jokes about men. Some of them if examined carefully are just as sexist as any Sandwich Joke. Sure sexism exists, but no one likes a radical. you know how you can tell the difference between a regular activist and a radical? One can laugh at themselves and the other makes a big long blog about how she can’t take a joke because she’s too busy loving the fact that if the boat sinks she gets on the lifeboat first.

  38. Jimmy on April 8th, 2010 12:06 am

    I really don’t see a lot of the sexism you seem to in society. There are some remaining inequalities but most of these are shrinking or even tilt in your favor. Look at gender distributions in colleges. Look at television and movies, it is almost always the female character who is more competent and responsible. I would be extremely reluctant to extend the existence of a small Facebook group to broad conclusions about the American psyche. Even if the group is rather tasteless. Strength is not expressed by the defensive and easily offended.

  39. DestXavier on April 9th, 2010 12:07 am

    [email protected] Rusty.
    I agree. I’m just a sandwich craver and if there’s a girl willing, she can make me a sandwich all day.
    But for real, this blog is unnecessary. I think everyone knows women don’t belong in the kitchen. I mean there’s other things like dusting and vacuuming, and that requires them to go through the entire house.

  40. Lauren on April 13th, 2010 11:50 pm

    Listen, if it were just a joke, it would end after saying it once or twice. There are more groups applying to this one “meaningless joke” than I can count and in them the men do not allow women to make any jokes about the reverse. Their responses are “make me a sandwich” over and over again. These men are asserting themselves by virtually trying to hold a woman down and trying to render her thoughts meaningless. I don’t care if you all think it’s a funny joke, it’s a problem that it’s funny at all to so many boys and men. There are a lot of young kids on Facebook now, what kind of message do you think this is sending to them? Please try thinking critically about it.

  41. Bob on April 14th, 2010 11:14 am

    feminism is a form of sexism

  42. Charlie on April 14th, 2010 9:55 pm

    Ok, first off…you are an idiot. Because you are a woman? NO. Because you want greater rights for women? Still NO. The reason I so crudely inform you of this is because you need to learn to take a simple joke. Of the however many fans groups like this and others have, how many do you think have actually demanded a sandwich from a female. My guesses are not many. I think its damned hilarious and a JOKE, and thats where my thought process stops on it. Its funny for a few seconds every once in a while when I see it pop up and thats the end of it. The internet is a breeding ground for jokes and ideas that no one has to put a face to. You have much to learn about the behavior and morals we exercise on the internet if you are taking it this personally… to go and write an article, then I pity your self esteem and blindness to the progress women have made. Women…like yourself…are why these jokes get made. People like to get a rise, and love to get in a word battle over the internet. You are fueling them with things like this. Everyone talks shit and everyone is a badass. You just gotta take it for what its worth, A JOKE. A facebook group…WHOOP DE SHIT. Your article here? WHOOP DE SHIT. The only thing you have proven is your incompetence to socialize with friends and peers who are obviously just having a good laugh. Loosen up and take a chill pill.

    Instead of writing columns about how you think all this is trash, why don’t you do something constructive? Like MAKE ME A FUCKING SANDWICH.

  43. Charlie on April 14th, 2010 10:05 pm

    and for the record, most of us(men and women) would actually prefer to make our own sandwiches Id imagine. I know that no woman, or man for that matter can even come close the deli creations I crave.

  44. Lyle Phipps on April 16th, 2010 11:10 am

    Lets focus on the sandwich, shall we?
    We are clouding the important issue with anger and social dissatisfaction; when distracted by such things we can not devote our energy to making our loved ones and the world a better sandwich.

  45. samuel welsh on April 19th, 2010 3:13 am

    young women need to fight the sexist crap in the media

    demote festivals car show bimbos expesscally

  46. Rob on April 19th, 2010 12:24 pm

    Hey samuel welsh,

    First, learn to spell/use punctuation. Second, you think it’s men’s fault for featuring them? The women choose to do that.

  47. SANDWICH EATER on April 22nd, 2010 3:01 pm

    you seriously took the time to write an article about a facebook group that was a joke….. seriously?

    just think of how many sandwiches you could have made in the time it took for you to use your puny little woman brain to think up all of these big words.
    😀

    jk..

  48. Gen on April 25th, 2010 7:54 am

    Good on you for writing this column. Some commenters say that you’re getting worked up because of a joke – and yes, it is a joke degrading womens’ rights and how (supposedly) far we’ve come since women were really confined to the household in the 50s. But crack a joke that undermines gay rights and people rush to label you a homophobe, a prude, etc.

    To all the commenters telling the writer to laugh it off and make them a sandwich: please, f-cking grow up.

  49. Matt on April 25th, 2010 3:31 pm

    Should I write an article called “Don’t ask guys to give you a massage” ?

  50. J-money on April 26th, 2010 9:34 am

    Lauren,

    I could seriously use a sandwich right now.

    That will be all,

    Thanks

  51. god on April 26th, 2010 11:17 am

    And on the 7th day god said make me a sandwich, and then he made eve

  52. Egbert McFishbiscuit on April 28th, 2010 12:57 pm

    You now know the difference between men and boys. Stop dating boys and you won’t have a problem. Besides, if this is the type of thing you worries you in your daily life, you must be doing great in everything else.

  53. alex on April 28th, 2010 2:33 pm

    Ok, men and women will NEVER be equal. And its not entirely man’s fault. A few examples of things that will never change: a guy has to ask for a girls number, a guy always has to call the girl first if he wants to talks. And your sentence about the group “i’m the girl. you’re the guy…” well why was there no explanation about how wrong that was? Obviously its bullshit that the world works that way, but you’ll never see a guy write an article about having to text women first. So quit complaining because it won’t do shit to help your cause.

  54. bk on April 29th, 2010 12:05 pm

    Do you really want equality? Do you really want to be eligible for the draft. Do you want to give up your immensely huge advantage in civil court when it comes to custody of children? Do you want to give up maternity leave? Do you not want your boyfriend to protect you in a dangerous situation? Women have advantages over men, just like men have over women. In my experience women say they want equality without giving up their advantages. Equality is a two way street ladies. But regardless of that people need to lighten up. If we were to get rid of all jokes that somebody found offensive then their wouldn’t be much comedy in the world. You know what they say laughter is the best medicine. Are you anti medicine? Do you want sick people to die? If not, then stop bitching about stupid jokes.

  55. Bjorn on April 29th, 2010 9:37 pm

    umm the majority of the guys I know do regard women as equals. They just find the idea of being a total sexist humorous. It satirizes men more than it does women imo. People are not fans of the behavior, just of the jokes enclosed. You really are taking it too seriously, one of the main negative stereotypes about feminists is that they get enraged about insignificant things like this and cannot take a joke, something you seem to embody.

    hence the classic joke: How many radical feminists does it take to change the light bulb?

    A: One! And its NOT FUNNY!

  56. jen on April 29th, 2010 10:53 pm

    OMG, finally somebody who agrees with me!! I’ve been seeing these groups for a while now and as disappointed as I am that several of my male friends have joined them, I am much more disappointed to find that just as many females have joined these groups and even added their own “sandwich jokes” to the group wall. I don’t understand this? Why would someone join a group that is demeaning to them and jokes about their lack of equality? Furthermore, I am extremely disturbed by the images of violence against females, particularly one picture I saw with girl with a black eye, with the caption: “***** shoulda shut up and made a ***damn sandwich”. How can anyone find this funny? I simply don’t see the humor in these groups. I have ranted about this to many fellow females but they all seem to echo the same sentiment: “yeah, but whatever it’s just a joke. besides there’s nothing you can do about it” and even worse: “actually I think they’re kind of funny”. Thankyou for you’re perspective

  57. Kyle on May 5th, 2010 6:44 pm

    the reason that guys don’t like feminists isn’t because of the things you have listed, its because they have no sense of humor. if you ask the guys that make these jokes for their serious opinion, i promise you that a large majority of them think of women as equal and treat them with respect. you’re making a huge deal out of something that is a simple joke. people need to stop trying to be politically correct all the time, there’s nothing wrong with some harmless humor.

    men and women will never be completely equal because men and women have a lot of physical and psychological differences, and that’s ok.

  58. Jeff on May 6th, 2010 9:14 am

    Take comfort in the fact that most guys with that attitude end up as obese, single 50 year olds sitting on their couches watching sports re-runs with beer stains on their sweatpants. I’ve met a lot of these guys, they’re usually one of my friends’ token loser uncles. They’ll say “look at me man, I’m free. Don’t need no woman holdin’ me down.” Then a few months later you find out they blew their brains out with a handgun after they couldn’t deal with being a failure anymore. It’s never a big loss.

  59. AD on May 13th, 2010 4:09 pm

    Seriously. Facebook groups?

    If you’re really a feminist, why don’t you take up the cause of genital mutilation in Africa, child brides in Yemen, legality of women owning vehicles in Saudi Arabia, women treated as property in Afghanistan and Pakistan, denied schooling by the Taliban, murdered wholesale in China…

    Lauren, who told you “no” today? If you do better in school, and go out and try, you’ll have just as good a job as your male counterparts. But there are places in the world where women really are treated like cattle. I guess it’s just easier to whine about what boo hoo hoo everyone’s doing to you you you.

  60. M.Morphine on May 14th, 2010 1:10 am

    Just saying, my girlfriend tells me to make the sandwiches. And I would 🙂

  61. Rik on May 17th, 2010 6:56 am

    hey BK your forgot the every day stuff like discounts on services like insurance and entrance to places but that is ok discrimination because it is against males not females

  62. J-Bird on May 26th, 2010 2:39 pm

    @Bjorn

    I couldn’t agree with you more. Everyone one of my friends uses these jokes as a way to show how past male chauvinism is primitively funny. None of us would ever treat women in such a disrespectful manner.

  63. Friend of a sandwich thrower on June 18th, 2010 1:54 pm

    My girlfriend’s dad actually came home from work the day after his honeymoon and sat down in front of the TV and told his wife to “Go make me a sandwich, woman!”. Being that it was 50 years ago, she was an old fashion woman so she went into the kitchen and made him a sandwich. Then she brought it to him on a plate. Before giving him the plate she took the sandwich off the plate and threw it at him. LOL! True story. He never asked again.

  64. Laura on July 6th, 2010 2:17 pm

    Lauren,

    I completely agree wtih you. I noticed a comment saying here that men don’t like feminists because they don’t have a sense of humor which is another stereotype on them. I for one have an amazing sense of humor, I love anything that makes me laugh and I think South Park makes good (hilarious) points on their show (idk if that just makes me have a poor sense of humor hahah).
    People don’t realize that when men make jokes like “make me a sandwich” it’d be like a someone saying “go pick some cotton” to an african american. Nobody realizes that yet or thinks twice to make a sexist joke because they still don’t look at us as equal.
    After the election was over for presidency Hilary made a comment about how at a lot of her speeches people from the crowd would be making sexist comments such as “go back to the kitchen” (etc…they’re all getting pretty old). During Obama’s election someone made a racist comment and it was all over the news the day it was made. So why is sexism not treated the same?
    Also someone further up mentioned that if women were completely equal there would be no maternity leave. What they fail to realize is that majority of that leave is for recovery. It takes at the least a month for your vagina to recover and go back to normal so they most def. wouldn’t take that away.
    I could go on and on about this but I’m going to stop here. You wrote a really good article!

  65. Jacob on July 7th, 2010 5:04 am

    I am definitely a guy who loves a joke, and I am not saying jokes don’t have any meaning to or relating to society but the whole point of a joke is well let me see to be funny, it’s a JOKE, like ha ha funny, jokes aren’t supposed to be serious or else they wouldn’t be jokes and they wouldn’t be funny. Now I am a guy and I love sandwiches but I am perfectly capable of making one myself, I’m not that lazy but yeah I laugh when I hear a joke like that “make me a sandwich” it’s funny. Now I am sure there are plenty of jokes that are sexist to males such as “wow hunny thanks for spending so much money on my ring instead of that Plasma your watching the game, guy: not now hunny watching the game make me a sandwich will you” now i find that funny if a guy said, “make yourself useful and make me a sandwich” that is sexist.

  66. Summer on July 12th, 2010 9:21 am

    I’m a girl and I thought this group was hilarious, especially after seeing the other group that was like “guys text first or else we’re not talking tonight..yadayada”. If you’re a real feminist, you should know there are bigger issues in the world regarding women getting treated, not like second rate citizens, but like animals. It’s sad that you’re nit picking a fb group in a country were women are almost, yes, ALMOST equal to men. And honestly I wouldn’t change that. I get a lot of special treatment: teachers usually take my side, men give up their seat to me on trains, I don’t have to pay for meals on dates and I don’t have to get drafted into the war. If you give women any more equal rights, you’re essentially just taking away generations of GOOD manners.

    And I like making sandwiches.

  67. Hordeplayer75 on July 12th, 2010 10:25 pm

    You’re right. This isn’t a joke. Men are the obviously dominant race. We are smarter, more athletic, earn more like you said so yourself. We are on top. Accept your position as housewife and sexual slave and move on with this delusion of equality.

  68. Peter on July 12th, 2010 10:56 pm

    A sandwich, please.

    Thank you.

  69. Jamie on July 14th, 2010 4:53 pm

    I am completely appalled and insanely irate over the ignorant, no, idiocy of many of the people behind these comments.
    First, to the men and women that say that “women want equality, but don’t want to give up there advantages”, bullshit. I consider myself a huge feminist, and I know many, many other women that don’t agree with female advantage over men, or male advantage over women. Directly to “BK”, if drafts for war are again used in America, I want to be just as likely to be drafted as my male counterparts. I believe men and women should be entirely equal in the court of law (and everywhere) and if I was in a custody battle over a child, I would hope that the child would go to the parent more capable of being a caretaker, not based on gender. If ever in a dangerous situation with a male, I would want us both to be able to equally get away from the danger. And one more thing, don’t you dare tell us to stop “bitching” about jokes. I apologize if I’m incorrect to you, but in my experience men do not take it lightly if you belittle their masculinity, and they shouldn’t. Neither should women.
    The people who made posts such as “Just one thing, sandwich, please.”, disgust me. Even if you disagree with this woman, she is trying to discuss something she is passionate about, and you are behaving insanely immaturely. Do you think if the President was holding a conference anyone would make comments such as those? I certainly hope not. Professional people listen, respect, and actually think about what they are saying. Their replies should be of equal or higher intelligence and ACCURACY as the original speaker.
    All my life I have had to battle sexism, from men and women alike. In my work, in my home, even on the streets. Excuse me if it’s too much to ask for equality and to lay off the jokes. The jokes are offensive and seriously hurt some people. Why are some of you all right with that?

  70. Ryan on July 20th, 2010 3:09 pm

    Honestly? Yes, the sandwich jokes are funny, BECAUSE IT’S A JOKE. You don’t see men bitching about every joke women make about them and trust me it’s a lot.

    So how about you get up and actually do something with your life? I think people have already pointed out that you have more important things to be dealing with than a fucking facebook group full of mostly guys who saw it, got a chuckle, and clicked “like.”

  71. Mike on July 21st, 2010 10:03 am

    You guys put entirely too much thought into this. It’s just meant to be smart ass and funny. If I told my wife, “Go make yourself useful and make me a sandwich!” She probably would, like in the story in one of the posts above, make me a nice tasty looking sandwich and then bring it to me, and splat me in the face with it. And you know what? I would laugh my ass off. Because that is just FUNNY. A funny response, to me being sarcastically sexist.

    As for the poster who claims she is a “huge feminist”, which I won’t touch, the fact that you feel so defensive, waste time out of your life finding conflict in everything seemingly sexist, and can’t just enjoy living life, says that you have already lost this imaginary battle you are fighting.

  72. Ivan on July 21st, 2010 3:02 pm

    Silence blanketed the room, she knelt with a sandwich raised to the air…. “Very well, you have proven yourself to be a woman. Now leave this place and never return!”

  73. vish on July 21st, 2010 3:35 pm

    if a guy really pisses me off I might get into a fight with him. If a women pisses me off, social stigma restrains me from ever laying a hand on a women. If you want equal rights then be ready to share equal facetime with my fists… what you call female oppression is also what protects your asses from belligerent bastards like myself… AND GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH WOMAN AND BE QUICK ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!

    p.s. mayo is on the lower shelf in the fridge

  74. kfrimo on July 29th, 2010 10:46 am

    See vish, you just look like an idiot with an anger issue who is unaware of the proper usage of ellipses. (FYI, an ellipsis is this little gem: “…”). Also, the entire world needs to be protected from belligerent-bastard-morons like you.

    Good article, by the way.

  75. calmdownplzktnks on August 9th, 2010 4:11 am

    chill

  76. C on August 16th, 2010 2:47 pm

    Angry feminism =/= Productive feminism.