The Scariest, Most Terrifying… Romantic Comedies

By Kate MacDonald

Have you ever been watching a movie and you’re simply overcome with fear, horrified at the events that are unfolding and wary of what’s to come? Have you experienced these symptoms while watching a romantic comedy? You’re not alone.

Romantic comedies can be some of the best and funniest films out there, but it’s also the easiest genre to screw up. Not all actors are cut out for this film category- the same can easily be said about screenwriters.

So, on Halloween night, if you’re up for a horrifying flick but are a little too chicken for a gore-fest, check out one of these messes.

“Rumor Has It…”
This is director Rob Reiner’s attempt at a perverted, far less sufficient modern day version of “The Graduate.” While it was supposed to be a family-oriented comedy, what’s more terrifying (and revolting) than being wooed by, and subsequently sleeping with, a man who might be your father? Answer: nothing.

“Because I Said So”
One of the few non-horrendous movies on this list, “Because I Said So” is scary solely because of the plot. Millie’s (Mandy Moore) mother, Daphne (Diane Keaton) decides to continue her obsession with her youngest daughter by taking out a personal ad for her so she can pick and choose her daughter’s suitors. Dating men that your 60-year-old mother hand-picks for you without your knowledge- oh the horror.

“Failure to Launch”
It has got to be a parent’s greatest fear that their child will push the age of 40 and still live in the room they grew up in. Conversely, what person wants their dad to walk in while they’re sleeping with their date? Pair these elements with a less-than-mediocre job by both Matthew McConaughey and Sarah Jessica Parker, and you’ve got yourself a Halloween-worthy flick.

“The Family Stone”
Parker terrifies audiences again with another atrocious acting venture. The awkward family moments that fill “The Family Stone” are actually painful to watch. By the end of the movie, Parker becomes the horrible houseguest that just won’t leave, no matter who she’s with. But viewers will only find that out if they’re brave enough to make it to the end.

“Georgia Rule”
Side effects from watching “Georgia Rule” may include dizziness, caused by attempting to make sense of the dozens of subplots featured in the 2007 Garry Marshallfilm. Lindsay Lohan, Felicity Huffman and Jane Fonda combine to form a modern-day Addams family- a nightmarish group no one wants to be involved with, let alone a member of. What’s worse than being in the Randall clan? Working on this movie, as hinted by the cast and crew, once they finally tracked Lohan down.

“The Wedding Planner”
Imagine you’re Bridgette Wilson’s character Fran. You’ve landed McConaughey’s Dr. Steve Edison and your father is paying for your perfect nuptials. When Mary (Jennifer Lopez) enters the mix, your dream wedding becomes your worst nightmare. Maybe Fran was the real villain- Steve becomes fused to a statue and Mary almost dies in a runaway dumpster accident. Coincidence?

“The Proposal”
“The Proposal” is an utterly hilarious movie, thanks to the spot-on comedic timing of Betty White, Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds. However, the fact that Reynolds’s character is being blackmailed by his boss adds to the tension. It’s a pretty awful situation when you have to choose between standing in the unemployment line and marrying your boss, who is literally a nightmare.

Though it was a box office bomb, there was one redeeming quality about “Monster-In-Law:” Wanda Sykes. Sykes kept the audience in stitches while Jane Fonda and Jennifer Lopez (playing the mother and the fiancée respectively of Michael Vartan) nearly killed each other over the pending wedding. The thought of a bad mother-in-law took on a whole new meaning in this 2005 film.

“Raising Helen”
Not only does Kate Hudson’s 20-something character, Helen, lose her sister, but then she’s saddled with her three rebellious and quirky kids. For someone working in the fast-paced fashion industry, dating male models and going to clubs every night, this might be a fate worse than death.

This film didn’t just crash and burn, may have even destroyed the eternal love of “Bennifer.” “Gigli” is the worst kind of romantic comedy (it’s also probably the most shameful attempt at making a movie in this genre.) It’s not Ben Affleck’s character (a mob enforcer) that’s scary, it’s the fact that by watching, you’ve just wasted 2 hours of your life you can never get back.

So, on Halloween night, maybe it’s not movies like “The Exorcist” or “Dawn of the Dead” that will send shivers down your spine, but rather the likes of “Rumor Has It…” or the dreaded “Gigli.” For those looking for sweet dreams on Halloween night, it’s probably safest to avoid Jennifer Lopez, Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew McConaughey films at all costs.

Kate MacDonald can be reached at [email protected]