ATTENTION: SPOILER ALERT

I think that all I have to say is that I am honestly surprised it took Snooki two seasons to get arrested.

What started off as a late night out, full of partying and boozing,  led to a 24-hour long bender for the self-proclaimed “Princess of Poughkeepsie”. After a wild night at the cast’s favorite club, “Karma,” the pint sized spitfire showed up to work feeling sick, yet minutes later begging “The Boss,” Danny, to funnel beers with her. Snooki succeeds in her endeavor alone and then proceeds to go to a bar and teach older, sex-deprived couples how to take body shots. Maybe instead of a vet-tech Snooki should consider couples therapy for a real job. Wait… she makes $50,000 an episode. She’s never going to need a real job.

After performing couples therapy on the Boardwalk, Snooki’s trusted sidekicks Deeana (What does everyone else think of the new girl? Leave a comment!) and my personal favorite JWOWW head out to find our tiny drunken mess. The sober girls (wait… you can be sober on Jersey Shore? What?) attempt to bring Snooki home where she can wreak havoc in the house, rather than on the beach in Seaside. The attempt fails and Snickers gets arrested by the Seaside Police. In an intoxicated slur from the back of the police car, she says “You boys are no fun.” I can only hope that Snooki is okay in the Seaside prison.

In other news, Sammi and Ronnie – BREAK UP ALREADY. Sammi, go home or lighten up. Apologize to JWOWW. She might try to break your face again but she’s pretty cool- after one huge blow out she’ll probably be fine. Ronnie, I’m so happy your obnoxious laugh came back. I was beginning to miss the “dolphin on steroids” as Vinny so aptly named it. But seriously, break up. Or smile. Or leave.

As much as Sammi has been driving me crazy, I appreciate that the girl swallowed her pride and apologized to Snooki and Deeana. Good girl, you’re growing up so fast!

As much as Snooki’s arrest and Vinny’s comparisons made me burst into tears laughing, my favorite part of the episode was Pauly D’s STALKER reappearing at the club and then soaking him with her drink. I’m pretty sure that at that point, I was laughing like a dolphin on steroids.

Also- good for Jenni for peeing behind the bar at the club. When a girl’s gotta go, she’s gotta go. How nice of her to rinse it with the drink gun behind the bar.

The next episode of the Jersey Shore airs Thursday at 10 p.m. on MTV.

Ashley Berger can be reached at [email protected].