Trump to trump GOP candidacy

By Eddie Hand

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I’m no Donald expert. I know he has a catch phrase and a reality show. I know his hair is very silly, he owns a lot of buildings, golfs religiously, dated lots and lots of beautiful women but is now married. He gives hope to funny looking people anywhere that with enough money they too can find love (or at least sexual gratification).

Now, Trump is saying he might run for president in 2012.

Before we treat this like some sort of joke, we have to ask ourselves, “Why shouldn’t he run?” He might seem a little ridiculous at times, but it’s not like he’s Charlie Sheen or something. I’m sure many of you would contend that he lacks the political experience and knowledge of our government necessary.

I wonder though, how much experience a politician really needs these days. Sure knowledge of law and international policy probably helps, but the guy has so much practice dealing with underlings that he has his own show where people compete to be just that. Is there that much of a difference between a business leader and a political leader? He’s a commanding presence and as close to a professional leader as one can be.

My next line of reasoning is purely selfish so you’ll have to bear with me. I’m sure that many of the men and women reading this take politics very seriously; I am not one of them. I treat it the way I treat anything else I see on TV – as entertainment. That’s why I loved the California race all those years back when Arnold Schwarzenegger went up against a porn star named Mary Carey and Gary Coleman for governor. How awesome was that? It was pure reality TV, except it was on the news instead of VH1.

In fact, both Carey and Coleman ended up doing reality shows themselves. If Trump goes up against say, Sarah Palin, beats her and then makes her his running mate then we get a pair of reality TV stars verses the uber-charismatic Barack Obama. News ratings would go through the roof. They could put the debates on pay-per-view and the audience would still be huge. Politics has already become such a polarizing circus, why not take it one step further?

Moving on, the Donald has proved time and time again that he knows how to win. “The Apprentice” and “The Celebrity Apprentice” have been wildly successful. The Republicans need a guy like this in the competitions, especially considering the fact that they have no real candidate at the moment. Maybe Trump wouldn’t win the nomination, but he could certainly invigorate the base. He already managed to piss off the Ron Paul fan-base by saying he had no chance to win in a speech at the recent CPAC gathering. If he raises up a little hell, it could do wonders in regard to people getting out and voting, and if anything that’s what the GOP needs right now. Well, that or a charismatic figurehead that can go up against Obama in debates. Trump would probably be good at that too. He oozes confidence and already knows what its like to perform for an audience of millions.

Trump is also apparently germophobic to the extent that he never actually shakes anyone’s hand because of his fear. This sort of personality quirk might sound like a total disaster in the White House After all, not shaking the hand of a foreign leader or diplomat seems like an enormous sign of disrespect. In this age of terror, this could actually be a blessing. We don’t know what kinds of poisons the enemy (whoever that may be in 2012) will be using.

So will he actually go and do it? Aside from the sheer entertainment value that would come with it, I think it’s within the realm of reason. He’s already a business mogul, TV star and gazillionaire. Politics seems like the logical next step. Let’s face it, the guy is kind of an egomaniac. He thrives off this kind of attention.

Why not let him run for the GOP race?

Eddie Hand is a Collegian columnist and can be reached at [email protected].