Massachusetts Daily Collegian

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A free and responsible press serving the UMass community since 1890

Massachusetts Daily Collegian

A free and responsible press serving the UMass community since 1890

Massachusetts Daily Collegian

You are the father of that child

MCT
MCT

So I’ve been thinking a lot about “slut pride,” and why society seems so much against the notion of “hypersexual” women. This issue, to me, is more than a woman saying she likes to have lots and lots of sex; it’s  empowerment, it’s a woman’s choosing to use her body in a way that pleases her and that she is not ashamed of. Now, I’m not too keen on the use of the word “slut” to stand for such a powerful message, but I support the message all the same – society, not so much.

One of the main arguments that people always seem to use against women who enjoy sex is the fact that it’s immoral for women to have sex often because only they can get pregnant. Now, yes, this is true, but it’s both chauvinistic and invalid.

Now, yes, if a woman gets pregnant, she has to carry the baby in her womb for nine-odd months and then push it out. But that’s just the physical reality of pregnancy, not the crux of the argument. What I usually hear are the words “responsibility” and “taking care of the kid” thrown around and finally it clicked.

Wait a goddamn minute; both parties are responsible for a child. True, he doesn’t give birth to it, but that doesn’t make it any less his child. I feel as if the logic that women can’t be too sexually active because they can have children perpetuates this idea that only women have children, but men do not. The dominant view is that women shouldn’t have sex all the time because they can have kids but men can because they do not physically have kids; they just participate in the process and move on to sow their wild oats. What the heck is that stuff? The truth is if sex results in a pregnancy both parties are responsible.

I am aware that younger girls are less financially capable of taking care of  children and that a baby puts a big wrench in any sort of educational plans, but if the father of the child is also helping out then the weight of responsibility is much easier to deal with. The fact is, if the father and his family help, it can help to ease the situation. Now, I know firsthand that this is not always the case, but again, I feel the logic of this whole argument against true sexual liberation for women helps perpetuate the notion that men don’t have to take care of their kids because it’s the woman who is giving birth.

This all may seem self-evident, but I’m writing this article because I used to follow similar logic and I’m going to assume that I’m not the only woman who thought like this.

I’m writing this to debunk the silent but poignant implication in the argument that women shouldn’t be too sexually active because they can have kids. Well, guess what? So can men. They’re not giving birth and won’t feel the pain, but at the end of the day that kid’s DNA is coming from two people.

Now, sometimes the man takes care of the child, sometimes he doesn’t, but to imply that a woman can’t engage in sexual intercourse if she pleases because the responsibility of the child rests solely on her is completely chauvinistic.

Stephanie Ambroise is a Collegian columnist. She can be reached at [email protected].

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    Cale.SkettleMay 23, 2011 at 3:15 pm

    “Hyper Impregnating” whether used to express pregnation or safe sex….or intercoursic maybe?

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    Cale.SkettleMay 23, 2011 at 3:13 pm

    As a wee lit’l virgin from the coast of scotland I kant see I have any nootion of dee seperations of the sex from the pregnancee! How would the world respond to the unanimous redefinition of the terms of hypersexuality as merely, “HYPERPREGNANCY”! E’en if the couple don’t geet preggnint I done see any reason why this might be less im-prowering!

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    Dwayne McKnightApr 26, 2011 at 1:08 pm

    After re-reading the article and my original comment (as well as your response) it seems I was engaging a point that was never made really made in the article, my fault. I do agree with your assertion that the criticism or acceptance of sexual activities should be laid equally across the gender gap, as opposed to looking up to men who “score” often and looking down upon women who are deemed “sluts” because they choose to engage in frequent sexual activity.

    I enjoyed your article, and thank you for replying to my comment in the clear manner that you did. Keep up the good work.

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    Iron.eApr 26, 2011 at 10:11 am

    Thanks for your answer Steph, it was well thought out and well-argued, unlike many comments on this site! I look forward to your next article whatever it may be on.

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    Dwayne McKnightApr 25, 2011 at 1:52 pm

    As the commenter above already implied, I find a man’s inability to have a say in matters of abortion and a man’s extreme disadvantage in custody trials very hard to reconcile with the ethos of your argument.

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      Stephanie AmbroiseApr 25, 2011 at 2:01 pm

      I’m sorry, Dwayne, can you expand on that a little more? I really want to answer the questions as best as I can, and I want to be sure that I understand what you’re saying or asking. Do you want to focus more on the issue of abortion and the man’s part in the birth or abortion of a child? Please be aware that this article is focused on the doing away with the argument used by society which states that women shouldn’t be engaging in too much sexual activities because of the risk of having to be responsible for a child, and less about abortion. But I will be sure to answer your question as best as I can. Thank you!

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    Iron.eApr 25, 2011 at 11:44 am

    So under this assumption men have half a say in abortions, because if a couple has sex and this results in pregnancy both parties are responsible. What if he doesn’t want to have the child and this was established beforehand? Are you not enslaving him to work for her then?

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      Stephanie AmbroiseApr 25, 2011 at 1:49 pm

      That’s a really interesting question, and honestly it’s gotten me thinking. The article was more about the societal taboo that is associated with women having “too much sex” and it’s implications that it makes women seem more responsible for the child than a man is. But regardless of whether he wants the child or not, it is still his child. And it also depends on if the woman wants to have the child or not as well. But to care of your child is not an act of “enslavement”, it’s caring for your child. That’s why there are things like “child support laws” etc. I think it’s a very complicated question you asked, though. It would require another article completely. But to answer your question, yes, I do believe that a man has to be responsible for the child is the woman wants to keep it. There are many situations though, where the woman does not want the help of the man, and if that’s the case, then I guess that he does not. But I feel the general thing is that a man should be responsible for their child in some form or another. But if it was established beforehand, the woman could have many decisions to make, like she may go to court in order to try and get support, or get support from her family, or choose to raise the child herself. There are many options if the man chooses to not want the child, but in my opinion, the man should take care of the child, and I don’t consider it as an act of “enslavement.”

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