Massachusetts Daily Collegian

A free and responsible press serving the UMass community since 1890

A free and responsible press serving the UMass community since 1890

Massachusetts Daily Collegian

A free and responsible press serving the UMass community since 1890

Massachusetts Daily Collegian

Filling the empty nest

This year I left for college, just as my brother had done the year before. Last year I watched my parents adapt to having only one child in the house and I can’t imagine them having to manage with none. I knew my parents would have trouble coping without us in the house, but before we got the chance to see how hard it would be, they took matters into their own hands.  The next day they welcomed a foreign exchange student from Korea, named Jay, into their home. He is a junior at Saint John’s High School in Worcester and my parents could not have asked for a more perfect companion.

My parents had been talking about having a foreign exchange student come and stay with them for years. One day my mother’s co-worker brought up how she had two students from Korea staying with her. She asked my mom to have another boy from the Boston Global Education program live with her. She talked to my dad about it and they agreed to host him. As soon as I moved out, he moved in.

I went back home to visit last weekend and walked up the front steps to the maroon door and twisted it open. Once I stepped inside my parents and Jay greeted me. While there, I asked my mom about why she had Jay stay with them. She told me, “I love having kids in the house. They have so much life.”  I nodded and smiled to myself. My mom had always told me how much she loved being a mother, and I know it’s true –  I’m glad that Jay is there to keep her and my dad busy and happy.

Jay has kept my parents young. I saw them together this weekend and got to know Jay. He is absolutely perfect for them. My parents and Jay have become good friends; they are always laughing. They are great for him as my mom is always willing to drive him places or show him around our town. She nags him the same as she used to nag my brother and I, telling us to get our homework done and to make sure to eat healthy. Jay plays chess with my dad and talks with him over a cup of coffee and even listens to all of my dad’s jokes – he has become a part of the family.

Without Jay’s company my parents would be antsy and probably would feel like they had too much time on their hands. Many parents either turn to odd hobbies, like taking up fishing, or maybe collecting old coffee mugs. Some decide to put their energy into a new pet or maybe into a new job, all in an effort to fill the void their children left. Lots of parents drive each other crazy because they’re now alone in a big house. They don’t know what to do with themselves, so they argue.

I know that all parents must miss their children terribly and that’s not to say that lots of kids don’t miss their parents too. Naturally, everyone misses each other but coming to college is an important part of a person’s life, and all parties know this. I think that if more parents took in foreign exchange students they wouldn’t feel as lonely. It would help keep them busy and fill the gap left by their children. Kids are so energetic that they help keep parents lively.

Not only will foreign exchange students bring that kind of energy back into a home, they will also expose parents to another culture. Jay has cooked a lot of Korean meals for my parents and they have gone with him to a Korean market. My mom told me about her time there – about the steaming food and chatting people who crowded the streets. Before Jay came my mom would never have even known about a Korean market or eaten homemade Korean food.

Jay is truly great for my parents. He keeps them happy, busy and motivated. He brings the house to life with his energy and humor. When I went to Target with him and my mother, he rode around the store on the back of a cart.  He always keeps my mom laughing, which makes me happy. I would be worried about my parents if they didn’t have Jay to keep them so busy. So I suggest to everyone who has left their parents for college to tell them to invite a foreign exchange student into their home so they are content and active in your absence.

Amanda Dennis is a Collegian columnist. She can be reached at [email protected].

 

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