Morning Wood: Hulk Hogan brought on to coach UMass wrestling

By Morning Wood Staff

Hulkamania will be running wild at the University of Massachusetts.

Spurning multi-million dollar offers from World Wrestling Entertainment and Total Nonstop Action Wrestling, “The Immortal” Hulk Hogan, 59, has accepted a $500,000 per year deal to coach the UMass men’s wrestling team.


Athletic Director John McCutcheon announced the hiring for the club squad, which competes in the National Collegiate Wrestling Association, in a press conference at the Mullins Center on Friday morning.

Revealing that Ric Flair, Jake “The Snake” Roberts and Rikishi all interviewed for the job, McCutcheon, sporting Hogan’s signature yellow and red boas, confirmed that all the paperwork had been made official.

“I’m wicked excited,” McCutcheon said. “I grew up saying my prayers and eating my vitamins like Hogan told his fans to do and with his leadership, I am confident the University will put the smackdown on our opponents.”

Members of the media were plunged into darkness when the lights went out midway through McCutcheon’s address, only to return moments later as Hogan made his way to the podium, accompanied by Survivor’s “Eye of the Tiger” blasting over the PA system.

Hogan told the crowd that his involvement at UMass would usher in the second new world order in wrestling, referring to the original New World Order group he formed in the now defunct WCW in 1996.

“Well you know something Mean Gene, when people think of wrestling, they’re going to think, Vince McMahon, Eric Bischoff and John McCutcheon, brother,” Hogan said. “We’re gonna revamp this squad and bring the World Heavyweight Championship back where it belongs, brother. What cha’ gonna do, when Hulkamania, John McCutcheon and UMass run wild on you?”

With Hogan’s arrival, the campus’ recreation center –  where the team practices – will undergo a $20,000 renovation to include a ring, steel ramp, laser lights and a high-definition Bose sound system for wrestler’s entrance music.

New uniforms are also included in the changes, all paid for out of Hogan’s pocket, but according to NCWA regulations, tables, ladders and chairs are barred from collegiate matches for student safety.

Despite the setback, Hogan is confident in a strong start to his coaching career.

“This isn’t your grandma’s college wrestling, brother,” Hogan said. “Hulkamaniacs, Minutemaniacs, we’re going old school. These other jabronis will be down for the count, one, two, three.”

Isles Cena cannot be reached.