Spooky is the new funky

By Andrea Hanley

(Jay L. Clendenin/Los Angeles Times/TNS)

Picture this: You’re having a Halloween themed party, pregame or maybe just hanging out with friends and you’ve been left in charge of being the DJ. You and your counterparts seem to be having a good time, then suddenly—a resounding “BOO!” thunders throughout all of campus. Spooky right? WRONG—because it’s just your neighbors condemning your terrible taste in music. Now that’s a scary thought.

Fear not, reader! The Collegian is here to help. With the following 12 songs accompanied by many Halloween-themed puns, the only ‘boos’ you will be hearing will be coming from actual ghosts that came to enjoy the spooky atmosphere of your sick party—or whatever.

The number 12 spot on the list is filled with “Nearly Witches” By Panic! At the Disco. If you’ve never listened to Panic! before, then you’re in for a spooky treat. While “Nearly Witches” is definitely the most relevant Halloween song in the group’s repertoire thanks to its macabre title, you could almost substitute any Panic! song in its place if it doesn’t tingle your spine. The group is notorious for its upbeat yet eerie pieces, due to their rise in popularity in the mid 00’s when traditional 90’s grunge was fusing with more modern pop sounds.

Coming in at number 11 is “Skeleton” by The Front Bottoms. “Skeleton” is a bouncy alternative piece that will make you want to get up and shake your bones. The song makes for a spook-tac-ularly positive environment while simultaneously promoting the flagrant sad-boy message as most modern alternative anthems do.

Blink-182’s “I Miss You” claims spot number 10. It’s nothing less than expected that the founding fathers of pop-punk would have an eerie masterpiece that makes references to the “Nightmare Before Christmas” told in the form of a love story, making “I Miss You” a must this haunted-day season.

Changing directions in terms of genre, spots nine and eight are taken by artists Kesha with “Cannibal” and Kanye with “Monster.” Throwbacks are the semi-equivalent of zombie-fied songs. Everybody loves to hear them, but their rightful place is in the grave of 2010 along with UGGs and Silly Bandz. Make sure to reanimate these classic eighth grade dance jams—just be careful to keep them in their cage so they don’t wreak havoc on Chancellor Subbaswamy.

Next up on the list is “Heathens” by 21 Pilots. Everyone knows it. Everyone loves it. “Heathens” has just the eerie vibes that your getty needs.

Throwing it way back, “Spiderwebs” by No Doubt is making an appearance as itself this Halloween. Only true oldies fans will appreciate the ska-influenced riffs and the consecutive descending 16th notes, but there’s no doubt it will be a smash hit.

Potentially one of the most iconic spooky seasonal songs takes the rank of number five. “Disturbia” by Rihanna is the quintessential hat on the witch so much so that it’s not certain if the anthem is federally legal to play any other time of year. “Disturbia” is a banger for sure.

“OOOOOO” you hear from your guests, but it’s not a ghost. It’s just the sound every 20-year-old’s birth instinct causes them to make every time a fire track drops at a party. “Thriller” by none other than the magical Michael Jackson on your playlist guarantees no other reaction than this, besides some uncontrollable moonwalking. Be careful, however, if it’s a full moon, you wouldn’t want to turn into Michael Jackson.

Coming back to the all-around pop-punk aura of the season, “I Am a Nightmare” by Brand New rocks out at spot number three. The piece definitely jams heavy in the classic sad boy arena but will take you through an enchanted world full of love, loss, zombies and aliens (Oh my!). With influences from Blink-182, Brand New kills the competition with groovy down-step riffs and an upbeat tempo that will be sure to make you do the bone dance.

What could possibly be better than a Werewolf, you ask? A Werewolf that embodies feminism to the point where she has titled herself a “She Wolf”. “SHRIEKera SHRIEKera” holds her paws up high for the number two song on this year’s playlist. Jam Spooky. Jam Progressive. Jam She-Wolf.

Finally. The midnight hour we’ve all been waiting for. THE most important song this Halloween is “Stayin Alive” by the Bee Gees. Funk is back from the grave and here to stay. The groovy beat will send you into a different universe of countless “Office” memes and Michael Scott references. On a more musical note, however, the groove of the simple bass riff is nothing but extra-terrestrial. Avid Twitter beast, meme-ologist and UMass sophomore Matthew Dufour tweeted, “There’s so much evidence behind why Stayin’ Alive is the best song ever,” and there is absolutely no one who has replied to say otherwise.

The Daily Collegian wishes you a safe and spooky holiday season.

Andrea Hanley can be reached at [email protected]