Editor’s Note: The following column is satirical and is meant for humorous purposes only. All interviews and individuals are fictitious.
HBO’s critically-acclaimed anthology series “The White Lotus” is heading to an unexpected new locale – the University of Massachusetts Amherst. Creator Mike White confirmed on Tuesday, April 1, that the series’ fourth season will be filmed at none other than Hotel UMass, the University’s premiere on-campus lodging destination.
“To me, ‘The White Lotus’ has always been about the interplay between money, power and sex,” White said. “We truly get to make some chaos, playing around with the hot-button cultural topics of today, and perhaps no place best exemplifies that than UMass Amherst.”
While previous seasons took place on the white sand beaches of Maui, the historic Sicilian rivieras and the lush tropical landscapes of Thailand, season four offers a different kind of luxury; guests at ‘The White Lotus’ in Amherst will be greeted by stunning, panoramic views of the Campus Pond, the W.E.B. DuBois Library and the Bromery Center for the Arts.
According to White, this season’s cast of characters will be unlike anything we’ve seen before. “There’s a few main storylines at play here, of course, and I’m so excited for you all to see it,” he said. White says that the first guests to check in are the Johnsons, a family of four from rural Ohio. The two parents, Ilova Johnson and Dick Johnson, have reluctantly agreed to tour the University with their twin children, Anita and Peter Johnson, who will be entering college in the Fall.
In typical “The White Lotus” fashion, this family’s dynamic is forever changed after their vacation. Dick expects his children to choose practical majors, but turns to self-medication and drug abuse after learning that Anita wishes to study social thought and political economy, and that Peter wants to major in women, gender and sexuality studies.
Another major storyline involves Amanda Hugginkiss, a student worker at Worcester Dining Commons. To help pay for tuition, she lurks in the hotel after hours, hoping to seduce a wealthy travelling businessman. Without warning, Hugginkiss finds herself deep in an Uzbek human trafficking scheme.
The show also follows a small group of alumni who visit the hotel to reminisce on their glory days at their alma mater. Things unravel fast for the once tightly knit friend group, as they quickly realize the school isn’t the same as when they graduated in the early 2000s. One friend, Jack Mahwang, goes to one of the campus’s many fraternities in hopes of catching up with his old brothers. Once there, he quickly realizes that he isn’t as young as he remembers, so he spends the rest of the season desperately trying to earn credibility from current students.
The series comes to a dramatic — and murderous — end when all the characters’ storylines overlap at a hockey game on campus. After the Minutemen lose the game, Mahwang storms onto the rink, and according to White, that’s where things get crazy: “I don’t want to spoil too much here, but let’s just say that in the heat of the moment, there’s some man-on-mascot violence going on.”
Filming begins in August, with the cast and crew utilizing over 30 on-campus buildings. As a result, the entire Class of 2029 will not receive housing on campus and will instead be moved to the former Econo Lodge in Hadley, which White hinted might be a key filming location for season five.
Ayech B. Ohmacks can’t be reached; he’s currently on vacation in Thailand and gave his phone to the hotel staff to “fully immerse” himself on his meditation journey.
