I entered the University of Massachusetts Amherst in the fall of 2022. I was a new transfer from Western New England University, having decided to switch majors from Communication to Journalism. Of course, I thought I would be getting the same college experience at UMass that I would’ve at WNE. The last three years have proven 20-year-old Liv wrong. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from being surrounded by all types of people at this massive university, it’s that there really is a place for everyone, you just have to be brave enough to find it.

My UMass experience was really vital for finding my own identity, I’d say. Entering such a massive university so close to where I grew up was really overwhelming at first, but I think the Journalism major within the College of Social and Behavioral Sciences here was really perfect for me, as I was already a highly-opinionated closeted goth. The Massachusetts Daily Collegian was advertised everywhere in my major, and I finally decided to take the plunge and try my hand at editorial writing for the first time since leaving WNE.

I pitched my first Opinion piece to the Collegian in October 2022. Following its success after publishing (and the ego boost that came with it), I started writing more and more about the numerous, strong opinions that I had. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that not only did many people agree with what I was saying, but they thought my columns were well written. That was truly music to my ears as a budding young journalist.

In December of 2022, I had my 21st birthday party in Northampton, the city in which I was born. The party was a goth-themed “funeral for my youth,” which was a major turning point in maturing into my adult life.

I look back on that day at the end of the semester and realize how many of my friends showed up, and since then, realizing how many of them were genuine. The overwhelming amount of love I got on that day has always since come from the same people. Reflecting on this point in time and has made me realize how much I used to take certain people for granted, and how much some of them really mattered in the long run (if I haven’t scared you away yet, you’re a real one).

Starting college in 2020 in the height of the COVID-19 pandemic was really unfortunate, as I was robbed of a high school prom and graduation and even a proper transition into adult life. I wasn’t even sure if college was the right path for me. As anyone else did in those long months of 2020 though, I spent a lot of time on social media. Spending all my time on TikTok and Instagram over the years allowed me to establish my own identity in such a way that I don’t think I would’ve been able to if I hadn’t lived through the pandemic. I was able to rediscover my love for alternative music—especially gothic rock and metal music.

Being an adult also meant that I could pretty much dress any way that I wanted, too (it’s gotten considerably darker over the years). I started identifying as “goth” around this time, and I think that was a really liberating first step.

It was also validating to have people in my life, close to me or not, see me how I presented myself every day and instantly know, “oh, she’s totally a goth.”

Flash forward to the spring of 2023 (I was still a sophomore credits-wise), and I told my parents that I wanted to quit school again because I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. They told me to just finish the semester (they had already paid for it), and if I still wanted to quit after it was over, they wouldn’t make me go back. I was taking only two classes at that time. It was pretty easy for me to handle and being technically only a part time student allowed me to write a lot more opinion pieces for the Collegian’s Opinion Section in my free time. I knew for a fact that I wanted to write for the rest of my life, but I had no idea how to go about it career-wise.

But beyond just writing, I wanted to express my opinions. And it was at a show at Hampshire College Hardcore around a year ago that I had a major epiphany– to start my own podcast about the local scene. I was already a part of the Collegian at UMass, and to get involved in their multimedia section was probably the best decision I made during my time at UMass. I pitched the idea to my friend Evan Medwar, whom I’d become acquainted with by going to local shows around the five-college consortium and Western Massachusetts area. He said he’d be willing to co-host “The Scene” podcast with me at the Collegian, a show in which we’d showcase all of the unique talent from all over Western Mass, although we’ve recently expanded our scope to New England as a whole.

Throughout my senior year at the Collegian and at UMass, I would continue to work on the Podcast with Evan and write a few more Opinion pieces that I couldn’t stay silent about. To anyone thinking of joining the Daily Collegian as a writer, an editor or multimedia producer of any kind: the friends I’ve made and the opportunities I’ve had through the Collegian are truly one of a kind, and I wouldn’t trade them for the world. As the college chapter of my life comes to an end, I’d like to give a few last-minute acknowledgements.

A huge thank you to everyone I’ve met and stuck by me since I started at UMass, and the new ones I’ve met along the way. I quite literally wouldn’t have been able to do it without y’all.

To my Mom and Dad: thank you for your tough love and encouraging words over the years. You helped me take the first step into college and into life after high school. I might not have realized it at the time, but I really needed it.

Thank you to Ella and Lilah Cushman, my two sisters who I love very much. You both attending UMass with me during my final year here lifted me up in ways I simply can’t describe and helped me through the last stretch until graduation.

Thank you Jordan, the love of my life, for your extra support and kind words when I needed it most.

Some important and honorable mentions go to my friends, which I couldn’t possibly name all here. I love you all so very much, and thank you for your overwhelming and ongoing support.

Liv Cushman was the Head Podcast Editor. She can be reached at [email protected].