“The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives” offers a refreshing and surprisingly nuanced look into the lives of six Utah moms tied in various ways to the Mormon Church. I expected conservative values, trad-wife content and stories of women forced to conform to outdated gender roles. Knowing the deep-rooted misogyny and traditionalism of the Church, I assumed the show wouldn’t resonate with me. But instead of being a frustrating watch, it completely caught me off guard—in the very best way.
These women were made for reality TV. Season one introduces us to six central figures, loosely divided into “sinners” and “saints.” The “sinners” are Taylor, Demi, Jessi and Layla, while the “saints” include Mikayla, Mayci, Whitney and Jen.
But honestly, I think the more accurate way to group them is by relationship dynamic: healthy vs. unhealthy. That contrast says a lot more about how Mormon culture shows up in their lives. The women with supportive husbands get to flourish. The ones with controlling husbands have to fight just to be themselves. At its core, the show isn’t just about religion—it’s about resilience within a patriarchal structure.
Take Mikayla, for example. She’s a modern Mormon with three children and a husband, Jace, who respects her autonomy. She’s known online for her food, wellness and lifestyle content, and she’s closely aligned with her best friend Mayci Neeley. Mayci, also a modern Mormon, is even more of a powerhouse: she’s a mom of two, runs her own prenatal vitamin company and is currently writing a book. Both women represent what Mormon femininity can look like when it’s not controlled by men.
That theme continues with Jessi, who is not Mormon at all. She owns a national haircare business, multiple salons, a cosmetology school and sells products across the country. Her husband Jordan fully supports her and never tries to limit her independence. Similarly, Layla’s story is about breaking free. She grew up as one of the only Black girls in her Utah neighborhood, converted to Mormonism, married young and had two kids by 21. Eventually, she realized the life she was living wasn’t for her. She got divorced and is now the only single mom on the show, reclaiming her femininity and identity on her own terms.
Demi’s story is also rooted in transformation. A Mormon woman with a painful past, she divorced her first husband and is now married to Bret, who is 20 years older but is incredibly supportive. Her journey shows that healing is possible, even within a structure that often discourages divorce. Whitney, on the other hand, is more traditionally Mormon than the others, but her husband’s laid-back nature allows her room to be herself. She tries to follow church teachings, but she also dances online with her husband by her side. She represents a quiet rebellion that still works within the lines of her belief system.
But not all stories on the show are empowering. The most troubling dynamics come from Taylor Frankie Paul and Jen Affleck, whose relationships highlight the controlling and harmful side of Mormon patriarchy. Taylor, a TikTok influencer who essentially launched the show, was publicly shamed after a cheating scandal involving her ex-husband Tate Paul. She was pushed out of the Mormon community and left heartbroken and lost. While trying to recover, she entered a new, rocky relationship with Dakota, who pressures her to remarry even as she’s still grieving her divorce. Instead of helping, her traditionalist family encourages her to get married to him—trapping her in the same cycle she’s trying to escape. Fortunately, the other women rally around her, except for Whitney, who chooses to distance herself.
Jen’s situation is even more disturbing. Her husband Zac is emotionally and financially abusive. When the women take a trip to Las Vegas, Zac, along with Dakota, beg to join. After Jen goes to a Chippendales show, Zac lashes out, sending her angry texts, threatening divorce, saying he’ll take the kids and then blocking her. On top of it, he later uses the money she earned through content creation to go out and gamble. It’s upsetting to watch, but sadly not surprising, as his behavior reflects the darker truths about how patriarchal systems can enable abuse. While viewers might wish she could just leave, her story reminds us how difficult that choice can be. Still, the support from the other women offers her some light.
What ties all these stories together is how these women show up for each other. Through judgment, heartbreak, marital challenges and spiritual conflict, they create something powerful: solidarity. The heart of the show is the ways these women push back, lift each other up and redefine what power and independence can look like in their world. These women are bold and authentic, moving through the world with intention and strength. And in the process of living their lives, they’re creating space for what appears to be the closest thing to anti-patriarchy in the Mormon tradition.
Melanie Guilderson can be reached at [email protected]
