For a long time now I’ve been uneasy about the rebuke to ‘mind one’s own business.’ Of course, if someone asks us for some personal information and we have misgivings about what it will be used for, then we might be justified in telling them that we’d rather not say. The salient question raised by it is: what exactly is my business?

Certainly some things can be the business of many individuals. It seems that the things that comprise my business are those that affect me or might affect me, or those that might affect anyone whose wellbeing would affect me. I don’t think the idea of people having their own business distinct from the business of others is tenable.

It is especially difficult for people to see why one should care what another person believes in the privacy of their own minds. However, once we realize that what people believe determines how they will behave, we can see how one’s behavior invariably affects the well-being of others.

I am concerned about the beliefs of others because I genuinely care about the people affected. If someone believes that something is causing them to endure any variety or intensity of suffering for no perceivable good reason, then I would like to know more about why they behave that way in the hope of changing my mind or theirs.

An irreligious person might question the beliefs of a pious acquaintance (or even stranger) knowing that, if they are right about the claims of their faith, the questioner is wrong with respect to their understanding of the universe and their place in it. Too often, I fear, these conversations are ended because the person being questioned is too quick to take offence and too entitled to respect others’ beliefs.

Insofar as one feels that another is causing harm or not realizing potential wellbeing through their behavior, then one is justified in questioning that person. At any rate, it seems blameless for a particularly compassionate person to take interest in the lifestyle — or relationship, even – of a person if it comes from a place of genuine concern for their well-being. If a stranger reveals themself to be toiling under the burden of their ignorance, misinformation, or bad ideas, I see no reason why we shouldn’t offer compassionate words of advice even if they didn’t ask for them.

I believe “minding one’s business” is simply a symptom of the fact that people don’t like being criticized. Part of the reason that people don’t like being criticized is because those doing the criticizing are usually less than kind and because we are often not able to defend our behavior as well as we might like. We are constrained by liberal notions of tolerance and political correctness towards the ideas, beliefs and behaviors we find unethical, or at least unreasonable, and we are told not to butt in.

We should be constructive and compassionate when broaching touchy subjects and we should withhold information when we can see no good results from divulging it.

However, this saying is a problem, considering how much of what people do can negatively affect others and is therefore worth criticizing. It is also a problem because people neglect to inquire about things that interest or puzzle them for fear of offending. When these beliefs affect how people vote, raise their children or treat others (which they inevitably do), then I am that much more concerned. Our beliefs affect each other.

To tell someone to mind their own business is to fail to meet their criticism with any defense. It is to shy away from a conversation that could benefit both parties. The next time you feel the urge to say it, ask yourself what you are afraid of and remember never to be afraid of being wrong.

Benjamin Lithgow is a Collegian columnist. He can be reached at [email protected].