“Why are you a Yankees fan?”

This question is probably the most annoying thing that I encounter on a daily basis in Massachusetts. It is far more annoying than being surrounded by liberal loons at all times.

I am a Yankee fan despite the fact that I was born in Boston and I have lived in Massachusetts my entire life.

So why is it that I like the Yankees? I think the primary reason is I just can’t see myself ever being associated with the minority group that calls itself Red Sox nation.

Why is this? For me it started early on in life. My dad, who supports all Boston teams, raised me to be a Red Sox fan. He bought me the gear. He took me to games. I remember the moment when I put an end to wearing a “B” on my hat though. It was in elementary school on the playground when kids were trying to tell me the Yankees “suck.”

I thought to myself, the Yankees “suck?” Didn’t they just win the World Series again this year?

It didn’t make any sense. It still doesn’t. How do the Yankees “suck?” Derek Jeter plays for the Yankees. They have won 27 World Series titles. That’s more championships than any professional sports franchise on the planet. They have won the American League 40 times.

The Yankees are a well run, classy organization with a tradition of winning. The franchise embodies nearly everything except “sucking.”

I refuse to associate myself with people this moronic – ending  my tenure as a Red Sox fan. I have been a die hard Yankees fan ever since and haven‘t regretted it for a second. Just look at modern day Red Sox fans.

Red Sox nation consists of the most arrogant, jealous, moronic, fickle and wrongly directed passionate fans in all of sports. Yet, they feel as though they are by far the best fans in all of sports.

I just don’t get it.

Sox fans chanting “Yankees suck” when they are losing to them in a blowout? Sometimes I wonder if these self-proclaimed “educated fans” can even read the scoreboard.

It isn’t just about the “Yankees suck” thing though. I’d be giving Sox fans way too much credit if that was the only thing I called them out for.

Red Sox fans have this perception that they are the most loyal fans in the world yet history and modern times show that‘s entirely not true. They turn on their players faster than the weather changes around here. When Ted Williams – regarded as the best Red Sox hitter of all-time – hit a home run in his last career at-bat at Fenway, he wouldn’t even acknowledge the fans because he despised them so much. A handful of years ago, fans considered David Ortiz to be the biggest sports hero in Boston’s history and now he is booed after striking out during meaningless at-bats in April.

How can the fans consider themselves loyal when their best players end their careers so fed up with the fans they don’t want to respond to them or in the case of Ortiz, they are simply booed out of town?

The Red Sox are barely a baseball franchise at this point. Their team is simply in existence to make money for their owners. That, and to let frat kids bring their girlfriends to Fenway in pink hats and tee shirts so they can sing “Sweet Caroline” in the seventh inning.

Yeah, Red Sox nation is really dedicated. This is the most embarrassing fan base I have ever seen.

The team’s owners market the Red Sox better than any other team in the majors. I will give them that. They are also the most manipulative ownership group in the majors.

According to Forbes, the Red Sox earned the second highest profit in the major leagues last year. That is profit, not revenue. Yet, the ownership consistently let prized free agents go simply stating money as the reason. They earned $40 million in profit last year but they can’t re-sign Jason Bay? They let Alex Rodriguez get away over a couple million?

If the ownership cared about their fans as much as they claim to, they wouldn’t be exploiting their fans by profiting from them as much as they do. They have the highest ticket prices in baseball and there is no reason for it. It is not so the ownership can break even or compete with the Yankees. Like I said, they profited more than all but one franchise last year.

Why do I think the ownership is manipulative? Because I have seen what they are capable of doing to their fans. The ownership says “jump” and the fans say “how high?” When I was growing up, all I would hear about was how much better Nomar Garciaparra was than Derek Jeter. It was non-stop.

Yet, in 2003, this new ownership convinced fans that their best and most loved player for the past decade wasn’t a team player because he wasn’t on the top step of the dugout during a regular season game.

He had to go.

They got Boston fans to turn on Garciaparra and they didn’t even have a replacement for him. The shortstop position has been a revolving door since the Red Sox traded him.

Although that‘s the most obvious example of how easily they can control the mindset of the fan base, examples occur yearly. They are constantly told the Yankees buy championships when, up until last year, the two highest payrolls to ever win a World Series were both the Red Sox.

This year they have convinced Red Sox nation to not worry about letting Bay go because they are investing in undervalued players and pitching and defense.

Let me know how that goes.

Why am I a Yankees fan? It is because I know first-hand what Red Sox fans are and what they represent. I am just way too smart to be a Red Sox fan.

Alex Perry is a Collegian columnist. He can be reached at [email protected].