Well, it’s that time of year again. Yes, “Humans vs. Zombies” starts up once again today and the imperialist, sexist, racist “game” will be thoroughly disruptive to this campus’ true business of being robbed blind by the administration.

Back in the day, when I was still a physics student and a member of Commonwealth College (back when it was called Commonwealth College, in fact), I attended a lecture which was part of the “Pizza with a Prof.” program. Unfortunately I’ve forgotten the professor’s name, but it was a good lecture.

He had an interesting theory: Hollywood uses the different components of horror films to express those fears felt by society when the movie was made. The more successful a horror film, the better it conforms to the subconscious fears of people-at-large. The classic film “Invasion of the Body Snatchers,” for example, is widely recognized today as the archetypal Cold War film, with the pod people representing how the Communists invaded secretly and used subversion to gradually take control of a liberal democracy. Of course, everyone involved in the movie’s production denies it.

That’s the point: it’s all subconscious.

The lecture I attended was specifically about hybrids in vampire films as a metaphor for interracial sex. In a number of ’90s vampire film franchises (to my knowledge the motifs first appeared in role playing games in the 1980s), such as “Blade” and “Underworld,” vampires were portrayed as being upper class, powerful, rich and aristocratic. They were, according to the theory, the white people of the horror film universe. Humans were inferior in many respects, though possessing certain advantageous physical characteristics (being able to live in the day, for instance). In “Underworld” the werewolves were also considered “inferior” by vampires and had once been enslaved by them. In “Blade” a human-vampire hybrid was supposed to save humans from the vampires while in “Underworld” a vampire-werewolf hybrid was going to bring peace between the two peoples.

The professor contrasted the worlds of “Blade” and “Underworld” with earlier examples of the theme: racist anti-miscegenation literature which argued that white and black people intermarrying and having children would destroy civilization among other apocalyptic scenarios.

Anyways, by applying this idea to “Humans vs Zombies” it is clear that this “game,” which is supposed to be fun and carefree and harmless, is racist and imperialist to its rotten, decomposing core. It’s so obvious – when does the game take place? After the apocalypse. In other words, after a mixed race child was born. Or, in this case, became President of the United States.

“Humans vs Zombies” started in the fall of 2007, after Barack Obama was elected to the United States Senate from Illinois, but by which time presidential speculation surrounded him like a hurricane. Yet there is still another, more insidious interpretation: George A. Romero, director of many of the most popular zombie films – indeed he is the creator of much of the modern zombie image – is of Hispanic descent and the swarming, constantly reproducing zombies, replacing humans in their evolutionary niche. Clearly, the zombies are a metaphor for the white elite’s view of Mexican immigration. On the other hand, the humans represent white Americans – afraid of the zombies, trying to stave off what they perceive as an invasion with the stark consumerism represented by the use of Nerf guns and marshmallows and unwilling to coexist with the newcomers.

This “game” from the darkest, most depraved reaches of the subconscious also serves as propaganda. “Humans vs Zombies” somehow always manages to time their games for maximum exposure with prospective students. For instance, this semester’s “game” will coincide with Family Weekend, when parents will be visiting their students on campus. Undoubtedly they will bring with them their younger children, who are not yet college-aged.

The children are not only our future, they are the most impressionable members of society. One’s experiences and lessons stay with an individual for their entire life, on both a conscious and a subconscious level. More importantly, the young are more sensitive to the subliminal messages communicated by symbolism and metaphors. Indeed, a child would pick up on the hidden meanings in “Humans vs Zombies” better than most adults. How many children must be condemned to the cycle of hate and violence perpetuated and encouraged by this regressive “game?”  

Only through education, through the use of our brains, can we overcome this putrid mass beneath our civil veneer. Yes, by brains we will be saved and enter a new era of peace and prosperity. Remember, brains. Brains.

Matthew M. Robare is a Collegian columnist. He can be reached at [email protected].