Let’s be clear, dressing up in as little clothing as possible and throwing on some animal ears is not a costume. Drawing on whiskers with eyeliner because you’re a “cat” doesn’t cut it either. Halloween costumes should not be about how little clothing you can get away with wearing. I get that you want to show off the effects of your pre-Halloween diet, but your “devil” outfit really only shows off your lack of creativity, not that you starved yourself all week.
Halloween is supposed to be about being creative, about having a costume that is either hilarious or extremely clever. I’m going to reiterate this to make sure it is understood, there is nothing creative about outfits that barely cover you on top or bottom, unless you’re costume is actually being the exotic dancer you end up looking like.
So if you thought your costume this year was “cute,” you’re probably going to want to think again because I’m about to break down the reality a few of the common ones.
The Disney Princess: First of all, no princess of Disney creation would ever wear the outfit you’ve chosen. It barely covers your butt, it barely covers your chest and it’s so tight I’m pretty sure I can see your belly button. Furthermore, because you don’t actually look anything like whichever princess you’re trying to be, your costume is kind of ambiguous. Are you Belle? Sleeping Beauty? Snow White? It’s not entirely clear. And people will be wondering what you are all night, but won’t feel comfortable asking because they feel like they should know. All I know is that guys will feel comfortable staring at your chest all night.
The Cat: Unless you are going to go so far as to cover yourself in fake fur, this one is silly. You look nothing like a cat in a spandex black/leopard print dress with a headband that has two pointy triangles on it. And if you’re not going to bother with the tail, don’t bother to leave your house. Furthermore, what exactly is cat-like about a skintight mini-dress that shows almost all of your skin? Cats are covered in fur you can’t even see their skin.
The Devil: A costume often involving a red corset and miniskirt with a devil tail poking out the back and yet another headband — this time with horns fashioned to it. I may be speculating here, but, if the devil is real, I highly doubt he/she/it is waltzing around in that getup. Costumes need not always be 100 percent accurate, but they should be at least be around the target. If you’re going to be a devil, your costume should be moderately scary, though the sight of some girls in corsets is scary, it is not supposed to be a cute costume. Essentially every mention of the devil in history/media/literature involves it being frightening. I have never heard any mention that being a devil involves wearing slightly more clothing than you do at the beach.
The Police Office/Firefighter: Just to clarify, police officers and firefighters do not wear high heels. Considering there are probably millions of other ladies wearing that costume from the Halloween Outlet, there is pretty much nothing redeeming about your costume. It is hilarious only because it is inaccurate and was clearly only chosen because you do not have to put any thought into it except how you are going to hide your love handles. It is not creative, cute or even really a costume since no police officer or firefighter would ever wear that except maybe ironically in the bedroom.
So, please, put a little more thought into your costumes. If you require a getup that allows you to wear exceptionally little clothing then at least make it a costume where it makes sense, for example: Britney Spears circa “You Drive Me Crazy.” However, I highly recommend coming up with something much more creative, comfortable, and since it’s October, warm. If you’re wondering what I’m going to be since I’m obviously against so many common female costumes, I will be wearing a “Bop It Extreme” costume with my best friend.
Kellie Quinn is a Collegian columnist. She can be reached at [email protected].
