Like most people, I was a kid when I first faced a death in the family. Every death in my family resulted in what is called a traditional burial, where the dead are embalmed through a chemical process and put out for viewing at a wake and receive a funeral service the next morning.

Unlike cremations, traditional burials require stricter timelines and expectations for these services. After kneeling at the open casket, one was to make his or her way down the family line with the widow/widower, the parents (if applicable), the sisters and brothers, the children, the grandchildren and in that order and only in that order. You shook hands with them, looked them in the eye, gave your condolences and moved on through an emotionally repressed conveyor belt. All I could think of was how strange it was that someone whose life, as vibrant, chaotic and extraordinary as it may have been, would end with a solemn and organized regimen of human grief. Tradition was their excuse for this draining activity.

Perhaps, what is more disturbing about this industry is that the majority of the public does not know that they can refuse these traditional services. A mortician is not required by law to take the body of a deceased loved one away from you and into the morgue, despite reports that many funeral homes claim otherwise.

Bodies do not have to go through the intrusive, expensive procedures of embalming. Most people are led to believe that in order for their loved ones’ deaths to be “dignified,” they must spend upwards of $20,000 on the service.

This misinformation and manipulation is a direct result of the funeral industry taking advantage of a society extremely afraid of dealing with anything related to death.

The way our society views death is unhealthy. Instead of embracing our own mortality and using it as a tool to better our lives, we spend our lives trying to forget about it. Corpses travel across the United States in the cargo of commercial jets that you may fly on and in the back of unmarked vans you may pass on the highway, according to U.S. Customs and Border Protection. As unsettling as this information is, it is reality; death surrounds us as much as life.

The difference is, in this day and age no one lets you see it. If you need even more convincing of this denial, look at how much our society obsesses over youth. There are facial creams, surgeries, diet fads and many other advertisements for products that encourage maintaining a youthful appearance. These are key cursors to looking at the skewed relationship America has with death.

The tides are changing for the funeral industry. Now, approximately 40 percent of American families decide that cremation is a suitable option for their loved ones. However, about 59 percent is still dominated by traditional burials.

I would like to talk about that remaining one percent – natural burials. In other words, burying the dead with a decomposable coffin or shroud directly into the ground, allowing the body to decompose and provide nutrients for other life as nature had intended. It’s outrageous that these burials are not offered in every state. They are just as dignified and heartfelt as any other service, not to mention better for the environment and cost a mere $25 to $50, or even less if you take care of the body yourself, according to gravematters.us.

Death can be beautiful because it reminds us of all that life has given us. It is also heart-wrenching and horrifying. Grief is one of the most difficult trials known to human kind. Why do we pigeonhole ourselves into these strict expectations when dealing with death? Why do we deny ourselves the right to grieve the way that suits our own emotional needs best?

Whenever anyone attempts to talk realistically about death they are dismissed for being morbid and the conversation ends. It is not morbid to plan for death. It is not morbid to contemplate something as universal to life as a first date or being handed the keys to your first car. Instead, we shove our emotions down, keep smiling weakly and move forward into this skewed perception of strength. Perhaps this issue speaks to a much larger problem. In society, we view sadness as weakness and as brokenness instead of a natural response to natural occurrences.

Corinne Elicone is a Collegian contributor and can be reached at [email protected].