Scrolling Headlines:

UMass women’s soccer falls to Central Connecticut 3-0 in home opener -

August 19, 2017

Preseason serves as opportunity for young UMass men’s soccer players -

August 13, 2017

Amherst Fire Department website adds user friendly components and live audio feed -

August 11, 2017

UMass takes the cake for best campus dining -

August 11, 2017

Two UMass students overcome obstacles to win full-ride scholarships -

August 2, 2017

The guilt of saying ‘guilty’ -

August 2, 2017

UMass tuition set to rise 3-4 percent for 2017-2018 school year -

July 18, 2017

PVTA potential cuts affect UMass and five college students -

July 10, 2017

New director of student broadcast media at UMass this fall -

July 10, 2017

Whose American Dream? -

June 24, 2017

Man who threatened to bomb Coolidge Hall taken into ICE custody -

June 24, 2017

Cale Makar drafted by Colorado Avalanche in first round of 2017 NHL Entry Draft -

June 24, 2017

Conservatives: The Trump experiment is over -

June 17, 2017

UMass basketball lands transfer Kieran Hayward from LSU -

May 18, 2017

UMass basketball’s Donte Clark transferring to Coastal Carolina -

May 17, 2017

Report: Keon Clergeot transfers to UMass basketball program -

May 15, 2017

Despite title-game loss, Meg Colleran’s brilliance in circle was an incredible feat -

May 14, 2017

UMass softball loses in heartbreaker in A-10 title game -

May 14, 2017

Navy sinks UMass women’s lacrosse 23-11 in NCAA tournament second round, ending Minutewomen’s season -

May 14, 2017

UMass softball advances to A-10 Championship game -

May 13, 2017

Meghan McCain’s Republicanism

I was watching Fox News the other night when something suddenly hit me like a Marc Jacobs spike-heel stiletto: The conservative movement is dying. It’s old, it’s dull and worse, it’s tragically un-hip.

As my eyes roved across Fox’s news contributors — Dick Morris (old!), Krauthammer (handicapped!), Dana Perino (Can you say “crows-feet?”) – I realized that not even an Extreme Makeover could save this political movement. I mean, how could there possibly be this many old people in one place? Did Roger Ailes recruit his lineup from the nickel slots section at Foxwoods? What gives?

It was almost enough for a young conservative like me to renounce the ideology for good. That was until I discovered someone who would transform the conservative youth movement for the 21st century.

I’m referring, of course, to up-and-coming political commentator and pop-culture maven, Meghan McCain. You may know her better as the 20-something blonde daughter of the guy who lost the presidency to Barack Obama.

If you thought Republicans were too embarrassed to publicly associate with Meghan McCain because of her “ditzy” reputation, then you clearly haven’t spent enough time around the Republicans in Amherst. According to the MassGOP’s website, the UMass Republican Club has invited Meghan to campus to give a lecture on “her vision of the future of the Republican Party.”

Meghan, who writes columns for the Daily Beast, has fashioned herself as a leader of the young conservative movement. According to her profile on the Greater Talent Speakers Bureau website, which recently signed her as a client, Meghan “has launched a national movement to redefine Republican stereotypes and values.”

Incredible. As the Republican Party sinks into musty irrelevancy, Meghan McCain has suddenly arrived like a modern-day William F. Buckley to single-handedly redefine the conservative movement as we know it.

“It is no secret that being a Republican isn’t the most hip political stance a person can take right now,” admitted Meghan, who is sometimes photographed hanging out with celebrities like Tila Tequila and Heidi Montag, in her March 9 column in the Daily Beast.

“I wish I could be more positive about the current ‘hipness’ of our party. But being a Republican is about as edgy as Donny Osmond,” she added.

Meghan is right. For too long, the Republican Party has played host to schlubs, ugly people and the elderly, while the Democratic Party has brimmed with jet-setters, glitterati and virtually the whole cast of Twilight. No wonder the conservative movement is losing voters – our answer to Russell Brand is Ben Stein.

As a young conservative, I’m embarrassed and offended by this blatant disregard of societal trendiness. Forget “small government,” “free market,” and “individual liberty.” What’s the point of having “principles” if they can’t get you past the bouncer at 1Oak?

Fortunately, Meghan assures us that not all hope is lost. “I know there are young cool Republicans out there – I’ve met them – but many of them are too scared to come out of the closet,” she wrote in a July 10 Daily Beast column.

So what steps is Meghan taking to help rebrand the Republican Party as a hipper, younger movement? I’ve read through some of her columns, and here is what I’ve found:

Step One: Remind everyone the Republican Party is full of old, stupid people.

Because if you’ve “launched a national movement to redefine Republican stereotypes and values,” there is really no better way to achieve this than to constantly announce how “uncool” the party is – preferably publically and in print.

For more information, see Meghan’s articles entitled “Karl Rove, Twitter Creep,” “My Message for Michelle Malkin,” “My Beef With Ann Coulter,” “Stop Talking About My Weight, Laura Ingraham,” “The GOP Doesn’t Understand Sex” and “Why the Republicans Don’t Get the Internet.”

Step Two: Reiterate how cool Meghan McCain is in comparison to other Republicans.

Meghan isn’t like other Republicans – she’s a cool Republican. In fact, on Oct. 14, 2008, she even confessed to Fox News that she “voted for [John] Kerry and Al Gore” – yes, Al Gore, who ran for President in 2000 when Meghan was only 16 years old. How precocious.

And during a speech to the Log Cabin Republicans on April 18, she reiterated how far she deviates from the rest of the unwashed Republican masses.

“I am concerned about the environment. I love to wear black. I think government is best when it stays out of people’s lives and business as much as possible. I love punk rock. I believe in a strong national defense. I have a tattoo. I believe government should always be efficient and accountable. I have lots of gay friends. And yes, I am a Republican.” A shocking revelation, of course, to all of us who believed Republicans only wore pastels and listened to old show tunes while tossing burning Styrofoam containers into the backyard of their gay, tattooed neighbor. Meghan is a true anomaly and Republican trailblazer.

Step Three: If All Else Fails, Go Back to Being a Democrat.

But then what would you be famous for?

Alana Goodman is a Collegian columnist.  She can be reached at

3 Responses to “Meghan McCain’s Republicanism”
  1. Amanda says:

    I’d like to know where you got your Oct. 14, 2008 quotation because I find that often, Ms. Goodman, you misuse facts or fabricate them, not unlike other prominent members of your party, e.g., Ann Coulter.

    Your quotation around the word principles has me wondering whether or not you exemplify the narrow minded Republican ideals that Meghan McCain condemns. Not only do you fail to explicitly articulate what your principles comprise, your statement makes the assumption that your principles are universal and the standard.

    Also, your ironic columns that ostensibly praise figures whose ideas you oppose get old. Adopting a sarcastic tone in speaking about them emphasizes how you are incapable of directly and effectively engaging in discourse.

  2. Hi Amanda,

    Here is a link to the Oct. 14, 2008 video of Meghan on Hannity and Colmes talking about how she voted for Al Gore:

    Thanks for the comment.


  3. Alex Perry says:

    I almost had to stop reading this half way through because it put me off so much.

    Meghan McCain 2012

Leave A Comment