Scrolling Headlines:

Environmental journalists face challenges under Trump administration -

March 25, 2017

An open letter to the students of UMass -

March 24, 2017

Pat Kelsey informs UMass AD Ryan Bamford of change of heart just 35 minutes before scheduled press conference -

March 23, 2017

Past and present UMass football players participate in 2017 Pro Day Thursday -

March 23, 2017

Pat Kelsey reportedly backs down from UMass men’s basketball coaching position -

March 23, 2017

Students react to new fence around Townehouses -

March 23, 2017

‘Do You Have The Right To Do Drugs?’ debate held in Bowker Auditorium -

March 23, 2017

UMass men’s lacrosse looks to build on three-game winning streak against Brown -

March 23, 2017

UMass softball riding five-game win streak into first Atlantic 10 showdown -

March 23, 2017

Sanzo: Inability to win close games has hurt UMass baseball -

March 23, 2017

Hannah Murphy scores 100th career goal in UMass women’s lacrosse 16-9 win over Harvard -

March 23, 2017

Old age does no harm to indie rock legends The Feelies -

March 23, 2017

A track-by-track breakdown of Drake’s new project -

March 23, 2017

When a president lies -

March 23, 2017

Let them eat steak, and other gender norms I hate -

March 23, 2017

Dissecting Science: Episode Two -

March 22, 2017

Holy Cross 10-run eighth inning sinks UMass baseball -

March 22, 2017

UMass students react to Spring Concert lineup -

March 22, 2017

Letter: Vote yes for Amherst -

March 22, 2017

You don’t have to walk alone -

March 22, 2017

Meghan McCain’s Republicanism

I was watching Fox News the other night when something suddenly hit me like a Marc Jacobs spike-heel stiletto: The conservative movement is dying. It’s old, it’s dull and worse, it’s tragically un-hip.

As my eyes roved across Fox’s news contributors — Dick Morris (old!), Krauthammer (handicapped!), Dana Perino (Can you say “crows-feet?”) – I realized that not even an Extreme Makeover could save this political movement. I mean, how could there possibly be this many old people in one place? Did Roger Ailes recruit his lineup from the nickel slots section at Foxwoods? What gives?

It was almost enough for a young conservative like me to renounce the ideology for good. That was until I discovered someone who would transform the conservative youth movement for the 21st century.

I’m referring, of course, to up-and-coming political commentator and pop-culture maven, Meghan McCain. You may know her better as the 20-something blonde daughter of the guy who lost the presidency to Barack Obama.

If you thought Republicans were too embarrassed to publicly associate with Meghan McCain because of her “ditzy” reputation, then you clearly haven’t spent enough time around the Republicans in Amherst. According to the MassGOP’s website, the UMass Republican Club has invited Meghan to campus to give a lecture on “her vision of the future of the Republican Party.”

Meghan, who writes columns for the Daily Beast, has fashioned herself as a leader of the young conservative movement. According to her profile on the Greater Talent Speakers Bureau website, which recently signed her as a client, Meghan “has launched a national movement to redefine Republican stereotypes and values.”

Incredible. As the Republican Party sinks into musty irrelevancy, Meghan McCain has suddenly arrived like a modern-day William F. Buckley to single-handedly redefine the conservative movement as we know it.

“It is no secret that being a Republican isn’t the most hip political stance a person can take right now,” admitted Meghan, who is sometimes photographed hanging out with celebrities like Tila Tequila and Heidi Montag, in her March 9 column in the Daily Beast.

“I wish I could be more positive about the current ‘hipness’ of our party. But being a Republican is about as edgy as Donny Osmond,” she added.

Meghan is right. For too long, the Republican Party has played host to schlubs, ugly people and the elderly, while the Democratic Party has brimmed with jet-setters, glitterati and virtually the whole cast of Twilight. No wonder the conservative movement is losing voters – our answer to Russell Brand is Ben Stein.

As a young conservative, I’m embarrassed and offended by this blatant disregard of societal trendiness. Forget “small government,” “free market,” and “individual liberty.” What’s the point of having “principles” if they can’t get you past the bouncer at 1Oak?

Fortunately, Meghan assures us that not all hope is lost. “I know there are young cool Republicans out there – I’ve met them – but many of them are too scared to come out of the closet,” she wrote in a July 10 Daily Beast column.

So what steps is Meghan taking to help rebrand the Republican Party as a hipper, younger movement? I’ve read through some of her columns, and here is what I’ve found:

Step One: Remind everyone the Republican Party is full of old, stupid people.

Because if you’ve “launched a national movement to redefine Republican stereotypes and values,” there is really no better way to achieve this than to constantly announce how “uncool” the party is – preferably publically and in print.

For more information, see Meghan’s articles entitled “Karl Rove, Twitter Creep,” “My Message for Michelle Malkin,” “My Beef With Ann Coulter,” “Stop Talking About My Weight, Laura Ingraham,” “The GOP Doesn’t Understand Sex” and “Why the Republicans Don’t Get the Internet.”

Step Two: Reiterate how cool Meghan McCain is in comparison to other Republicans.

Meghan isn’t like other Republicans – she’s a cool Republican. In fact, on Oct. 14, 2008, she even confessed to Fox News that she “voted for [John] Kerry and Al Gore” – yes, Al Gore, who ran for President in 2000 when Meghan was only 16 years old. How precocious.

And during a speech to the Log Cabin Republicans on April 18, she reiterated how far she deviates from the rest of the unwashed Republican masses.

“I am concerned about the environment. I love to wear black. I think government is best when it stays out of people’s lives and business as much as possible. I love punk rock. I believe in a strong national defense. I have a tattoo. I believe government should always be efficient and accountable. I have lots of gay friends. And yes, I am a Republican.” A shocking revelation, of course, to all of us who believed Republicans only wore pastels and listened to old show tunes while tossing burning Styrofoam containers into the backyard of their gay, tattooed neighbor. Meghan is a true anomaly and Republican trailblazer.

Step Three: If All Else Fails, Go Back to Being a Democrat.

But then what would you be famous for?

Alana Goodman is a Collegian columnist.  She can be reached at

3 Responses to “Meghan McCain’s Republicanism”
  1. Amanda says:

    I’d like to know where you got your Oct. 14, 2008 quotation because I find that often, Ms. Goodman, you misuse facts or fabricate them, not unlike other prominent members of your party, e.g., Ann Coulter.

    Your quotation around the word principles has me wondering whether or not you exemplify the narrow minded Republican ideals that Meghan McCain condemns. Not only do you fail to explicitly articulate what your principles comprise, your statement makes the assumption that your principles are universal and the standard.

    Also, your ironic columns that ostensibly praise figures whose ideas you oppose get old. Adopting a sarcastic tone in speaking about them emphasizes how you are incapable of directly and effectively engaging in discourse.

  2. Hi Amanda,

    Here is a link to the Oct. 14, 2008 video of Meghan on Hannity and Colmes talking about how she voted for Al Gore:

    Thanks for the comment.


  3. Alex Perry says:

    I almost had to stop reading this half way through because it put me off so much.

    Meghan McCain 2012

Leave A Comment