Dead Man’s Curve, it’s no place to play/Dead Man’s Curve, you must keep away/Dead Man’s Curve, I can hear ’em say:/”Won’t come back from Dead Man’s Curve” – Jan and Dean
Clear Channel Communications is the largest media provider on the planet.
As the world’s largest purveyor of mainstream, mind numbing, incessantly repetitive pop-rock, they, of course, have no soul.
But, caught up in the wave of large companies offering condolences to the victims of the 9-11 attacks, Clear Channel decided to go one better. Knowing the power of music, and how it can affect our thoughts and emotions, Clear Channel, in its infinite wisdom, has decided to protect the delicate sensibilities of their flocks of listeners and ban some songs.
Well, ban is a strong word. It is not a mandate, the company says. Based on the songs lyrical content, they may offend some listeners. The 150 songs contain not violently profane songs as a rule, but a wide assortment of songs.
Ok, so maybe somebody’s going to shed some tears over Peter, Paul and Mary’s (but interestingly enough, not John Denver’s or Chantal Kreviazu’s) “Leaving on a Jet Plane,” if they knew somebody that left on a jet plane, never to return.
And I can see how emotions may run high when hearing Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Tuesday’s Gone.” But can somebody please tell me who’s offended by Bobby Darin’s oh so cool lounge lizard staple “Mack the Knife?”
Besides all Rage Against the Machine songs- not necessarily a bad idea- the list also contains hair band gods Van Halen with “Jump” and worst song of all time contenders Barry McGuire’s “Eve of Destruction” and Yager and Evans’ “In the Year 2525.”
Several songs by AC/DC, Metallica and Alice in Chains rub elbows with such scandalous tunes as Ricky Nelson’s “Travelin’ Man.”
Yeah, that’s right: “When we walked in the sands of the Waikiki/And I held you oh so tight/Oh, I’m a travelin’ man/Yes, I’m a travelin’ man” is now considered questionable content for radio stations. What really surprises me is that while many of the songs deal with either planes, death or New York, many of the songs seem to be placed on there completely by mistake.
While the world watched Neil Young belt out John Lennon’s immortal words in “Imagine” a week or so ago, Clear Channel thinks that this song, too, may upset its listeners. I always liked the ex-Beatle’s song, and in light of Lennon’s own violent death. It served as an anthem of hope in a crazy world, just like Louie Armstrong’s throaty “Wonderful World.” Satchmo’s ballad, one that almost everyone knows, is a song of a bright future and better things ahead.
Some of Clear Channel’s suggestions strike me as blatantly racist. The Bangles’ “Walk Like an Egyptian” and the Clash’s “Rock the Casbah” are on the list. On a curious side note, “Rock the Casbah” was the first song played by the Armed Forces Radio Network during the Gulf War. Several Cat Stevens songs are on the list. Stevens, a folk singer, became a Muslim in 1977 and is now known as Yusuf Islam. His songs, “Peace Train” and “Morning Has Broken,” appear on the list.
Simon And Garfunkel’s “Bridge Over Troubled Water”- What? The Happenings’ “See You in September”- huh? The Hollies “He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother”- ok, I know it’s sappy, but it’s a good tune. Since when did these indispensables of Oldies rotations suddenly become questionable?
And what is Alien Ant Farm going to do? After spending millions- a conservative estimate- on hyping its video, which in turn is driving its album sales, it now finds that their cover of Michael Jackson’s “Smooth Criminal” appears on the list, indicted by Clear Channel Communications. U2’s brilliant song “Sunday, Bloody Sunday” is there, too. Forget the song is about dealing with a national tragedy. Forget that the song is quite possibly one of the top 50 of all time. It’s U2. Clear Channel isn’t fit to lick Bono’s boots!
It is understandable that some listeners may view certain songs in bad taste during this current tragedy, but you can always just turn the dial- oh wait. No you can’t. Clear Channel is the largest radio-broadcasting network on the planet. If they ain’t playing a song, ain’t nobody playing a song. Well, almost. Clear Channel owns one out of every ten radio stations. They own 94.5 WJMN and 107.9 WXKS in Boston, 96.1 WSRS in Worcester, 93.1 WHYN and 97.9 WPKX- both in Springfield. Just across the border they got four Hartford FM stations, and one in New Haven. And that’s not even counting the AM stations they own. So while business is one thing, attempting to gain a monopoly over radio- which seems to be the case in Connecticut- and then blacklisting (or in this case, graylisting) songs is something quite different. That’s not fair business practices. The good people of Connecticut demand their Dave Clark Five, the Tramps, and Paper Lace! (“Bits and Pieces,” “Disco Inferno,” and “The Night Chicago Died” respectively.)
What’s really bad is that three of the most requested songs of all time- Don McLean’s “American Pie,” Led Zeppelin’s “Stairway to Heaven” and Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Free Bird”- are on the list. These are classics. These are rock and roll’s version of Beethoven, Mozart and Chopin. It is a crime in and of itself to suggest that the lyrical content of these songs should somehow deem them unplayable.
Music is emotional. It’s supposed to affect you, good or bad. Sometimes, we need depressing music. Sometimes, we need nostalgia. And
