VARIOUS ARTISTS

TRL CHRISTMAS

Atlantic

Ka-ching! Ah, the sweet sound of cash registers ringing. As Christmas continues to commercially spiral out of control, MTV decides to release an album full of cheesy Christmas songs by a bunch of so-so artists.

The little elves at MTV’s flagship show “TRL” decided to create a Christmas album full of the shows staple artists (and some not). For some time now, MTV’s daily viewer-programmed show has been the barometer of who’s hot at this very moment. The latest trendsetters sing holiday tunes about Christmas and the New Year, even though some of them may not be around by the time 2002 rolls around.

The first track and released single/video from MTV TRL Christmas is “Santa Baby (Gimme Gimme Gimme)” by Willa Ford. It should come as no surprise that the song sounds exactly like all of the others on the horribly putrid album she released this summer.

Then, of course, we mellow in ‘N Sync’s (did you really think you were going to escape them on this album?) mushy ballad “I Don’t Wanna Spend One More Christmas Without You.” Another excuse for a track is boy band LFO’s “Red Letter Day” a band that continues to churn out useless teen pop crap with no end in sight.

Most of the tracks on this album are forgettable. Sugar Ray’s “Little Saint Nick,” Bif Naked’s “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus,” and Little T and One Track Mike’s “Snow Angel” leave absolutely no impression on the listener and border on being categorized as embarrassingly bad tracks.

But the album does have some highlights. Christina Aguilera’s version of the classic song “Angels We Have Heard on High” rises above the others not only because of Aguilera’s multi-octave vocals but also due to the lyrics that are more sensible than most of the cuts. A gospel choir backing her up doesn’t hurt the song either. TLC takes us on a joyful “Sleigh Ride” singing “giddy up, giddy up, giddy up and away we go in winter wonderland/ Hope we ride in the snow.” If these tracks are any indication, new albums from both Aguilera and TLC will help them have a Happy New Year.

An RTP remix of P.O.D.’s hit “Rock the Party” is a hot track, but has nothing to do with Christmas. Angela Via, a cross between Christina Aguilera and Jessica Simpson, sings a song titled “Christmas Wish” even though this song also lacks a Christmas message. Via’s only claim to fame so far has been through her additions on the Pokemon soundtracks.

Smash Mouth lends a good original song to the compilation called “Better Do It Right.” The lyrics, which consist of lines such as “If I’m gonna do wrong/ I’m gonna do it right,” may not be completely appropriate for this time of year but there’s no denying we all need a little scrooge spirit during the season. Blink-182 offers a blast of frigid air on the anti-Christmas song, “I Won’t Be Home for Christmas.” “It’s Christmas time again/ It’s time to be nice to the people you can’t stand all year…You people scare me” offers a cynically realistic view on Christmas.

We also have funnyman Jimmy Fallon who contributes the track “Snowball” about a snowball fight towards the end of the album. The song is nothing special, but at least offers a respite from the dizzying cheese leading up to the cut.

Simple Plan’s “My Christmas List” earns a few laugh for its amusing lyrics which consist of “I want a lifetime supply of Skittles and Slurpies and Eskimo pies…just bring me things that I don’t need” and “I want a girl in bed that knows what to do/ A Playstation 2/ I want a shopping spree in New York City.”

With a slew of studio and best-of albums hitting shelves, there really is no need to pick up this latest album. If you are trying to get into the Christmas spirit you’re better off picking up classic tunes, not these hokey-pokey songs from artists you’ll never hear again.