It didn’t matter where he was.

At any time, in any setting, Prince Adam could hoist The Sword of Power into the pink and purple ambiance of Eternia, ramble off some uncontrollable lexis, and turn into He-man: the most powerful man in the universe.

You know the drill.

“By the Power of Grayskull…I have the power!”

His sword representing the most efficient lightning rod ever invented, Prince Adam could transform into He-man in just seconds.

That procedure was something you just never questioned.

Castle Greyskull appeared behind He-man during every alteration, even if, in the prior instant, Adam and Cringer had been situated in the middle of a forest, nowhere near the stronghold of Eternium.

It slighted precision, of course. But we were all young then and slow on the ingestion of information. Plus, it’s not like we cared about cartoon accuracy at that time anyway.

He-man was damn cool. And that, in turn, pushed us (assuming you tuned in) into that same distinguished category. Because other than The Sorceress, Man-At-Arms, Orko, Queen Marlena, She-ra, LightHope and Loo-Kee, we were the only ones who knew He-Man’s secret.

We knew, that even though He-Man was clearly no more than the sun-baked, half-naked, big-sword-carrying version of Prince Adam, no one would ever find out who he really was.

But again, that wasn’t something we really thought about either.

All we cared about was the never-ending Masters of the Universe battles we’d stage in our rooms.

Life was easy.

It would start with Snake Mountain in one corner, and Castle Greyskull in the other. Behind Snake Mountain was good ol’ screechy-voiced Skeletor, trailed by his frightening little black kitty, Panthor. And behind Greyskull, He-man (Regular He-man, Battle armor He-man, Thunder Punch He-man, Laser Light He-man, Wonder Bread Mail Order He-man… whatever your preference) sauntered peacefully with Battle Cat a.k.a. “his fearless friend.”

Usually, you’d throw Orko and his magic back there with He-man, and sometimes you’d add Man-At-Arms, depending on how well you thought the others could defend Grayskull (if you were a disturbed little child, you’d lock He-man inside Grayskull with Teela and the Sorceress; and if you’ve grown into a disturbed young adult, you still fantasize about being locked inside of Eternia’s palace with them).

But seriously, if Buzz Off, Clamp Champ, Fisto, Ram Man, Man-E-Faces, Mossman, Gwildor, Stratos, Sy-clone, Zodak, Mekaneck, Roboto, and the rest of the faces could hold fort for a while, then He-man and Man-At-Arms would have no problem getting to Skeletor speedily.

But let’s just say that Horde Trooper, Blade, Clawful, Tri-Klops, Dragstor, Manteena, Stinkor, Snake Face, Ninjor, Sssqueeze, Fakor (the violet, homosexual version of He-man), Grizzlor, Jitsu, Leech, Twistoid, Kobra Kahn, Webstor, Whiplash, Merman and the rest of the Eternia heels put up a good fight, and few of them got to within a couple feet of Grayskull. If that happened, then Man-At-Arms would just pull out his battle-ax, laser slay them, and join He-man for a two-on-two battle with Skeletor and…let’s say, Beast Man (it didn’t really matter who it was, because he and Man-At-Arms would just cancel out in the end).

At that point, the He-man vs. Skeletor exhibition would begin. And, after a few minutes, you’d throw Skeletor against the wall, scream vociferously, kick Snake Mountain to the floor, and then run downstairs for milk and cookies.

Oh yeah, victory. “Let the power return,” baby.

If you don’t own any Masters of the Universe episodes, go rent some tonight, or buy them online. You can get all 130 episodes for like twenty bucks, easy.

It’s so worth it.

Remember “The Time Corridor” episode, when Skeletor attempts to destroy Castle Grayskull by going into the past using a device called the Wheel of Infinity? Or how about “The Curse of The Spellstone,” when Skeletor, Evil Lyn, and Jitsu break into an old temple and steal the Spell Stone (a weather controlling mineral) from a race of people called the Fire Men?

Not only do you get to see He-man kick ass, but you’re enlightened with a moral at the end of every episode.

“Today, Stratos of Avion learned the true value of forgiveness,” He-man says at the end of the episode, “Betrayal of Stratos.” “When someone does something we don’t like, it can be hard to forgive. It’s at times like these that we must remember everyone deserves a second chance. We all make mistakes and when we do, it’s nice to have a friend who will understand and give us another chance.”

Knowledge. Purely invaluable information.

“In today’s story, I sure was busy,” says Ram Man, at the end of “House of Shokoti, Pt. I.” “(Boing!) Boy did that hurt. Ramming things may look like fun, but it really isn’t. Trying to use your head the way I do is not only dangerous, but it’s dumb. I mean, you could get hurt badly. So listen to Rammy. Play safely and when you use your head, use it the way it was meant to be used: to think.

“Until later, so long.”