The Pentagon has reactivated G.I. Joe, America’s daring, highly trained special mission force. The announcement comes just one day after the Central Intelligence Agency released communication intercepts between known al-Qaeda lieutenants and Cobra operatives.
Defense officials today confirmed that the Joes were deployed in southern Afghanistan and have already carried out several “successful” missions.
“It is believed, by our people on the ground whom we trust, that there is a significant threat from Cobra. We sent the Joes in by a variety of methods, which we will not discuss here, and they carried out successful operations on several targets,” Donald Rumsfeld, secretary of Defense, said. “They [G.I. Joe] represent the best we have; they are real American heroes.”
Cobra, a ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the world, is led by Emperor Serpentor. Serpentor was created, of course, by the evil Dr. Mindbender, from genetic material collected from the world’s greatest military leaders.
Rumsfeld refused to elaborate on the methods used in the attacks, although he did specify that the targets were an airport and the Cobra stronghold, the Terrordrome.
JNN have received, through its sources, video and photographs of the raid on the airport.
The videos are shot with night vision cameras and depict the attack beginning with a strafing run by Dragonfly helicopters. Several Tomahawk transport helicopters then landed and deployed Joes onto the tarmac. The Dragonflies hung around overhead, providing fire support as Joe teams led by Beachhead blew up Cobra Rattler airplanes. The Rattler pilots escaped safely, however. By this time, the enemy is on full alert, and three H.I.S.S. battle tanks positioned themselves at the far end of the landing strip. These were quickly taken out however by radar guided bombs dropped from Skystrikers. The Skystrikers were launched from the U.S.S Flagg just in case the F-14 power is needed. Even though a terrific explosion ripped apart the Cobra armor, the tank drivers escaped safely.
Joe reinforcements arrived as several MOBAT tanks and Wolverine missile launchers crashed through the fence and fired large colorful blasts of laser fire at the assembling Cobra troops. A ferocious firefight ensued, resulting in no casualties.
The photos released from the attack on the Terrordrome show massive damage to equipment, with plastic molded debris everywhere. Slagged Cobra F.A.N.G. helicopters, their pilots sitting dazed but otherwise fine, were guarded by stalwart Joes like Spirit and Mutt. Junkyard, the feisty little pup, had cornered the Dreadnok commander Zartan.
General Hawk, the Joe commander, commented on the success of the operation.
“Yo, Joe!” Hawk said.
Rumsfeld, in a briefing with reporters, explained that the United States is trying to offer support to the anti-Serpentor resistance, The Coil, led by former Cobra field leader Cobra Commander.
“We are trying to do everything we can to offer support to Mr. Commander, but it is difficult,” Rumsfeld said. “He doesn’t just want to destroy Serpentor, he wants to kill Destro, whom he felt betrayed him.
“Destro, we think, could be a viable replacement for the Taliban,” Rumsfeld added.
Serpentor released a video to the press, in which he swears revenge for his destroyed Terrordrome.
“You will sssuffer the consssequencesss,” the Emperor said.
Rumsfeld isn’t worried though.
“We know that with the Joes deployed, we can take out the Taliban, Osama bin Laden, and the Cobra threat,” Rumsfeld said. “And knowing is half the battle.”
