Quicksilver vs Liono. No contest…Quicksilver wins every time. With Steelwill, Steelheart, Bluegrass, and the Copper Kid, the SilverHawks could wallop Tigra, Cheetara, Panthero, and the rest of the Thundercats. Hell, even Snarf would get an ass whoppin.
If all this is Greek to you, then apparently you did not grow up watching cartoons in the 80s, one of the best times for animation in recent memory. The first great renaissance for cartoons occurred from the late 1930s to the mid 1950s. During this time both Disney and Warner Brothers were at their peak, as Bugs Bunny and Mickey Mouse became as commonplace as Coca-Cola and the Sears catalog. Through the 60s and 70s though, cartoons began to decline. Warner Brothers had slowed production and Disney, while still primo at the box office, had drastically scaled back its number of shorts. What was an animation fan to do.
Then, like a saving grace from God, the 80s arrived. Cartoons were once again a top art form. Unlike the past though, when the cinema was the place to catch latest release, television was now the medium of choice. Instead of shorts, half-hour episodes of a regular series were made for the small screen. Even with the blossoming of cable, the two predominant ways of getting a cartoon on the boob tube were syndicated afternoon cartoons and the lost childhood classic, the Saturday morning cartoon.
Saturday mornings have completely changed since the decade of decadence. Now NBC airs a weekend edition of the Today show with its tween and teen dramas. ABC and CBS still try to air cartoons, but ABC’s shows are heavily influenced by their Disney parent into producing shows that don’t have as much appeal, while CBS airs mostly retreads from its cable sister Nickelodeon (Nickelodeon, a child itself of the 80s, is basically a roller coaster of good and bad cartoons and other kids programming, but that’s another story). Even Fox, who went through its only glory days in the early to mid 90s, has begun to show chinks in its armor.
In the 1980s, however, Saturday morning was the one time of the week specifically devoted to kids. The Big Three programmed from 8 a.m. until noon, and sometimes 1 p.m., with nonstop quality cartoons. It didn’t matter that the time these shows aired is a time when most of us now are sleeping away the bad memories from the night before; at the age of 7, anyone who wasn’t wide awake by 8 a.m. had slept in. About the only downside was that this joyous time occurred but once a week. I found a way around that though. At the clever young age of four, I learned how to program our good old Sears VCR (with all those little buttons on the machine…nobody had ever heard of “on-screen” programming). I would program in all my favorite shows from 8 a.m. until whenever, complete with the changes between 4, 5, and 7, and then let the machine go to work. When all was done I had a tape full of hours of great cartoons that I could watch all week long at anytime. At 6 a.m., after school, or before bedtime, my cartoons were always with me. And when the week was over, the same tape went back into the VCR ready to record all the new action for the next week.
Saturday morning was not the only cartoon time, however. As I mentioned, there were syndicated cartoons throughout the week that aired on those channels that used be independents (who are now affiliates for Fox, UPN, or The WB). There were also videocassettes for rent or sale to pop in that VHS VCR (I know some people had Beta, but does anyone really admit that anymore?). All combined, the complete engulfment by cartoons was sheer paradise to a child of the 80s. Everyone had his special cartoons and I was no exception.
When I think of Saturday mornings, two shows immediately come to mind: The Wuzzles and Pole Position. The Wuzzles were perhaps the most underrated project Disney has undertaken in the past twenty years. Clearly one of the most creative, funny, and wholesome (amazing…a show parents and kids could both enjoy), The Wuzzles only produced about a handful of episodes, but man, are they classics. For those who missed the boat, a wuzzle is a creature made up of two different animals, a mutated hybrid. The names helped one figure out the combinations: Eleroo, Bubmlelion, Butterbear, Hoppotamus, Mooseal, and of course Rhinokey (yes I did that all from memory). Episodes were full of tongue in cheek jokes and some of the most colorful animation of the time, clearly more vivid than their Asian drawn counterparts.
If The Wuzzles are the lost child of Disney, then Pole Position is the cartoon everyone seems to forgotten. Talking cars, stunt car drivers, fighting evil, this cartoon had the makings of a great hit. Unfortunately, people just never seemed to discover it. While it aired for over two years, less than twenty episodes were made. Pole Position did have a great theme song though (something any good cartoon from the Reagan years required). It is remembered by almost ever fan of the show. It also introduced two awesome cars, Roadie and Wheels, automobiles with both hydrofoil and hovercraft modes.
When it came to amazing drivers and vehicles though, few could argue with the success of MASK, or Mobile Armored Strike Kommand (hey would the show have been as great if it was called MASC?). The premise was fairly simple. A rich philanthropist assembled together a group of do-gooders who each had an incredible vehicle that could transform into a second vehicle, complete with weaponry, to fight the bad guys from VENOM and their equally impressive vehicles. In addition to the vehicles, each character, both good and bad had a mask, which was more like a helmet, that had a special power. There were many a day in elementary school that I wished for some of those magic abilities. The marketing for this cartoon was supreme. Every vehicle that ever appeared on the show could be purchased as a toy that transformed completely and included a driver, complete with mask. In our toy room, we had a majority of the MASK vehicles but few VENOM ones (I guess I grew up as a morally conscious child).
The only toon toy that I had more of than MASK when I was a youngster were the SilverHawks. As I alluded to above, the SilverHawks were partly metal and partly real (to quote the theme song). They soared through outer space like metallic human birds, fighting evil Monstar and his goons. I had just about every toy one could possibly own from this series. Granted the show was a spin-off of Thundercats, even using some of the same voices. In my eyes though, SilverHawks was clearly the better cartoon (and the rest of you who disagree can just shove it). Personally it is one of the cartoons I also fantasized about. I mean what child wouldn’t want the ability to fly everywhere and anywhere whenever his heart desired?
Even with all these great cartoons, though, when it gets down to picking my favorite, Saturday mornings were really only a minor outlet for these creatures. Created originally by card company American Greetings, these characters made their way into the hearts of American children, literally, through videos, movies, television shows, and of course lovable plush stuffed animals. While I only owned Funshine Bear and Lotsaheart Elephant, the Care Bears were, and still are, my ultimate cartoon.
A society of bears with huge hearts and magical tummies that lived up in those cumulus clouds in the sky, or Care-A-Lot, as it was known, the Care Bears monitored the entire world, coming to the rescue of any person, usually a kid, who was in need of cheering up and a reassurance in his own self confidence. The Care Bears showed that every person in the world truly had a good heart; at times it was just hidden away. When they weren’t raising a child’s spirits, they were battling their nemeses Coldheart, Darkheart, and Noheart.
People can say what they want about the Care Bears. In fact, I’ve been personally given grief about my collection of Care Bear movie songs from a number of my friends. Personally, I don’t care. Wait! That’s not what I’m supposed to say. What I meant to tell you is that I
respect your opinion, but mine is not going to change. Is that more friendly and caring? The Care Bears rocked. I know it and you know it. That girl you’ve been trying to date all semester, ya know…she sits behind you in Bevilacqua’s class…she has a huge collection of Care Bear memorabilia in her dorm room. So bone up on your tummy symbol knowledge, guys. I’m here if anyone needs some pointers.
There’s many cartoons I’ve yet to touch on, but we all have our favorites. Whether it was the creativity of the Muppet Babies, the masquerades of Ducktales, the Caboose clubhouse of the Get Along Gang, or the action of Transformers, (I never watched them but most guys on campus would kill me without a mention of the Autobots and Decepticons) my point is this. Someday soon, 80s-retro will be very in vogue (sort of like the 70s nostalgia of the late 90s). By this point we’ll all be in positions of money and power, except those English majors still struggling to write the great American novel. When this day comes, we need to embrace our 80s heritage and bring the cartoons back so we can relive them all over again. Let’s admit it: What is better than watching Bluegrass fly Mirage through the highway of the heavens, Matt Tracker assemble his team for the latest mission, or a full-blown, all-out, Care Bear stare? Absolutely nothing.
