Stars may seem to have everything, but looks can be deceiving. In fact, a bevy of stars need to invest some time and energy improving themselves this year. Here’s what some stars should promise themselves in 2002:

Britney Spears resolves to ditch her increasingly trampy look.

Michael Jackson resolves to bring his cryogenically placed 1980s brain into the year 2002.

Columbia Pictures resolves to stop writing their own great movie reviews.

Mariah Carey resolves to ditch her hip-hop ventures and stop making movies.

Hollywood resolves to produce more animated classics a la Shrek and Monsters, Inc.

Stars resolve to come out more often and donate to charities.

Sean John/Puff Daddy/Puffy/P. Diddy resolves on deciding a permanent name.

All Weakest Link contestants resolve to talk back to the acerbic Anne Robinson.

Robert Downey Jr., Ben Affleck, Aaron Sorkin, Matthew Perry, and AJ McLean resolve to ditch their drug and alcohol problems.

Networks resolve to cancel meaningless reality TV programming.

Hollywood resolves to stop making big-budget war movies that fail to capture actual war facts.

J.Lo resolves to realize that taking on the load of becoming an omnipresent force through court appearances, weddings and designing a fashion line doesn’t a great entertainer make.

Sharon Stone’s hubby Phil Bronstein resolves to stay away from toe-eating lizards.

‘N Sync resolve to never again make another movie.

Tom Green resolves to never again make another public appearance.

Studios resolve to stop making any more movie spoofs (at least for 2002).

Music stars resolve to limit collaborations as duets to avoid a complete ocean of vocals.

1-800-Call-ATT resolves to ditch their annoying pitchman Carrot Top.

Levi’s resolves to stop making any more annoying commercials like the singing belly buttons.

Mandy Moore, Jessica Simpson, and 98