Once every few millennia or so, such a being comes into existence that the world can never be the same. Often, this figure is of heroic stature and goes down in the history books never to be forgotten (see Jesus, Napoleon, Hulk Hogan, etc.) Sometimes though, this person’s life is marked by such tribulations that they face great disapproval and misunderstanding during their struggles. It takes time for people to realize just how important such a person is to the world, and often they do not get the respect they so rightfully deserve until after their time on Earth has ended.
With 2006’s Opening Day of Baseball coming up this weekend, I just wanted to take a little time out and pay homage to an unsung hero of past and present: Carl Everett. We are all familiar with the first coming of Everett, as the comet that destroyed the dinosaurs and opened up the way for human existence on Earth. Today, Everett is an infamous baseball player who has chosen to take a road less traveled.
In a society marked by conformity and a league marred by steroids, Everett stands out as an individual, refusing to be anything other than who he is, no matter how much people disapprove. Sure, refuting the existence of dinosaurs when entire museum exhibits are dedicated to their very remains might seem a little irrational, at least to more close-minded individuals, but Everett isn’t afraid to be different. When umpires try to hold him back with rules that have been cast in stone, Everett isn’t afraid to present his own personal thoughts with a jarring hip-thrust or letting a little saliva fly in their direction.
Nothing can contain this man of raw power, certainly no white-lined batter’s box. They say he makes his own bats by ripping Great Redwoods out of the ground and whittling them down with his bare hands. He can often be heard complaining about the new, smaller ballparks which can barely hold his ego and simply make it too easy for him to hit homeruns. When he walks onto the field the ground shakes, the heavens part, and opposing fans and players cringe with the anticipation of the utter destruction this colossus can bring. He carries his bat like a scepter and speaks as an infallible messiah.
Despite skipping practices, he still manages to frequently belt home runs. He knows just how good he is and he isn’t afraid to show it, whether it be by flipping off opposing pitchers or making an exaggerated cup-adjustment in their direction. Entire club houses can’t even contain this road warrior, as he has moved ten times between organizations over his career, including an incredible six times since 2001. He has racked up more miles than Moses.
All this being kicked around is not because Everett is not a nice guy. While in Boston he would frequently invite the entire team to his house for dinner, though only a few may have showed up.
What makes Everett so infamous is the same as what makes him so great. While Barry Bonds was injecting himself with various performance enhancing drugs, while Hollywood actresses were getting breast implants and facelifts, while government representatives were seeking legislation to satisfy their own ends, Everett stood up to tell the world that it was not going to change him.
In this day and age it is incredibly hard to find any men of strong conviction. People are too willing to sway with the majority, to just do what makes everyone else happy, to shy away from conflict. Carl Everett defies this trend, staring the majority in the face
