Massachusetts Daily Collegian

Time for men to end rape

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The Dean of Students’ office has failed us.

When presented an easy opportunity to expel an allegedly rapist who reportedly admitted his crime,  the University of Massachusetts buckled under what interim Vice Chancellor for Student Affairs and Campus Life, Jean Kim called a “really unfortunate” situation, according to last week’s shocking – but not surprising – Boston Globe article “No crackdown on assaults at colleges”.

I can be kicked out of housing for having too much alcohol in my fridge, but I apparently will be allowed to graduate if I rape a friend. Do we have to wonder why women rarely report being raped? Either no one believes them or nothing happens to the assailant.

This is not just at the UMass Amherst. College campuses are infected with an unhealthy, oppressive and violent hegemonic masculinity. Men are raised in an invisible cage of what it means to be a man: to never cry, to own at Halo, to drink more than anyone else, to have sex with more women and to view women as ends to our sexual desires. And because we cannot talk about our feelings – God forbid a man actually feels something – we are pressurized to conform to this impossible image of manhood. By not talking about ourselves, we become trapped.

When an insecure, unsympathetic and immoral man encounters a situation where he wants sex, but the woman he’s with does not, he rapes her. There is a difference from having sex and rape. Rape is about taking out men’s anger over the feminist movement for challenging us to actually think; it is about ripping away the pride and soul of a woman from beneath her; it is about showing women that men are superior; it’s about power. Rape is a choice – always – that someone thinks about, commits to and executes.

Whenever stories are reported on this subject, such as the sexual assault in the library last fall or the Boston Globe article, we wonder why this happens. But I will not talk about the victims. Our schools, disciplinary boards (clearly an oxymoron) and our justice departments need to stop asking if the victim’s skirt was too short, if the victim was flirting with him, or if the victim was drinking. We need to start talking to men. We need to talk about the men who rape women and find a safe haven in the Dean of Students’ office. Instead to telling women to not walk alone at night, instead of telling women to dress more “appropriately,” instead of telling women to use their rape whistles in case of emergencies, we need to tell men to stop raping women. We need to tell men to stop raping our mothers, our sisters, our girlfriends, our aunts and all the women in our lives.

I’m not sure what scares me more: the fact that the vice chancellor failed to hold her staff accountable, that the assistant dean who reviewed the case, Christina Willenbrock, did not expel the victimizer, or the fact that the vice chancellor, the assistant dean and the head dean of students, Jo-Anne Vanin are all women of power who let an inferior man get away with rape. There is no way that in all their respective lives, that they were never once harassed because of their gender or ethnicities, yet all three passed on rape as though he failed an exam.

Kim wants to continue as vice chancellor. Her resume is filled with student affairs experience. Too bad she forgot the most important thing about student affairs: caring for them. Her interests lie in throwing the blame to someone else and “making adjustments.” The only adjustment she needs to make is getting out of Amherst, because I do not want to send my future daughter to a school where not even women with power give a damn about rape.

You’ll notice in our Student Code of Conduct –  if you’ve ever read it – that the “Appliance Guidelines” are about half a page. You know, stuff like unplugging your refrigerators over break. Sexual assault? One sentence. Rape? Nothing. It seems like UMass cares more about its furniture policy than about educating men and women about rape. The very day the Boston Globe article and subsequent Collegian coverage came out, UMass students got an e-mail from Housing and Residence Life reminding us about the “Fire safety Policy Compliance Advisory.” Seriously? How about e-mail reminders to all the men on campus that rape is illegal? Plagiarism is not illegal in American law, but I can get expelled for that. Rape is illegal, but I can still graduate with honors.

Now, we need a solution, but where begin? UMass can start expelling rapists. That would be nice. UMass should also be allowed to press charges against the accused if they see fit, even if the victim chooses not to. What was it that I read in the sexual harassment policy written by UMass? “In most instances, complaints will be initiated by the target of the alleged harassment. However, the University reserves the right to initiate a formal grievance (or to continue processing a complaint even after a request to withdraw has been submitted by the Complainant in accordance with Section IV) when, in the opinion of the Chair of the Sexual Harassment Board, it is appropriate to do so. In such instances the Chair of the Sexual Harassment Board, in consultation with the Chancellor, will designate who will present the University’s case.”

It looks like the Dean of Students’ office had the full power and authority to charge that man with rape, chose not to, and not is saying “reversing a decision is not an option,” according to Kim.

But ultimately, the power is not in the hands of administrators. The power and choice to acknowledge women as human beings starts with men. Men are the ones who commit the most rapes in relation to females, but it is true most men in general do not commit rape. It is those men, the ones who do not commit rape, who need to speak up.

In the book by Robin Warshaw, “I Never Called it Rape”, it reports that one in four college women will get sexually assaulted, raped, or harassed. Men, how many women do you know? More than four I bet, so you better think twice before you say another rape joke. In the same book, surveys showed that one in 12 college men committed acts legally definable as rape. Men, how many men do you know? Odds are that you might be friends with a repeat rapist and not even know it.

UMass has some misplaced notion that by keeping these issues secret they won’t happen anymore. The UMass Police Department should post the picture of every rapist on its website so we know exactly who did what and who is getting away with it. But why would the school do that? UMass cares more about planting trees and prettying up Southwest to attract prospective students instead of caring about their current students, the ones that pay thousands and thousands of dollars to funds that ultimately help rapists succeed. You don’t need to be a woman to be outraged by this crisis, you just need a heart, a mind and no mind for rape.

So men, the next time you and I go to the bathroom, remember that we hold in our hands the ability to end rape.

Roy Ribitzky is a Collegian columnist. He can be reached at [email protected]


17 Responses to “Time for men to end rape”

  1. Ed on March 2nd, 2010 6:54 am

    > the fact that the vice chancellor, the assistant dean and
    > the head dean of students, Jo-Anne Vanin are all women of
    > power who

    Simply were not concerned about doing the right thing.

    And we can name some more women here. Laura Giles of Housing. Lisa Kidwell of the UMPD. More women vested with responsibility (not power outright) who didn’t do the right thing.

    Collegian: I still want to know who this perp is – I still have a strong suspicion that his name will answer a whole lot of questions.

    But on a larger scope, how many more group gropes about how rape is bad (or men are bad, and sometimes the two appear indistinguishable), how many more women in positions of authority do we have to have before we can deal with a perp who is not guilty but confessed.

    I’d call for pitchforks and torches except that *I* am the one who would get kicked out of school for doing this. Yep, protect the rapist, expel the well-intended man who called you on it. That is the UMass way.

    Has anyone ever seen the full list of resources available to women on this campus? Anyone seen the listing of names of women who are supposed to be dealing with this sort of thing? Call me a conservative but HOW MANY MORE BUREAUCRATS DO WE NEED BEFORE WE START ASKING SOME OF THE ONES WE ALREADY HAVE TO DO THEIR DAMN JOBS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

    Call me an insensitive sexist or worse, if I had a victim that was willing to come forward and who knew the potential consequences and my somewhat limited ability to protect her from them, I would have thrown this a**hole out of school and I would have felt good about it. 0h, he would have had his due process, don’t get me wrong, he would “have had a fair trial before we hung him.”

    In what dimension of reality were these women existing?

    > Kim wants to continue as vice chancellor.

    Peggy Jablanski wouldn’t have let this happen. I say we want her!

    > How about e-mail reminders to all the men on campus that
    > rape is illegal?

    Exactly how many men do not know this? And is not the problem the university failing to enforce its own rules? The perp confessed to it, think he didn’t kinda know it was illegal?

    > UMass should also be allowed to press charges against
    > the accused if they see fit, even if the victim chooses not to.


    If you have ever known a woman who has been raped, or even a woman in an abusive relationship, you will instantly know why this is the most absolutely bad idea possible.

    If you have ever tried to assist a woman who has been raped, you will quickly see that the thing the woman needs the absolute most important thing to her is getting control of her own body back. Back from the rapist, and also back from everyone else. And in order to do this, she needs to have control over what is going to happen.

    What you will do is rape the woman twice, and your violation will actually harm her worse because it will have the full color of law behind it. And in my book, if you do this to someone, you are no better than the perp. And I am certain that certain members of the UMPD understand what I am saying: I consider them rapists too…

    And think about what happens at trial: the woman who doesn’t want to talk is to be forced to? Have you no sympathy for her?

    But here you have a victim that was able to come forward. And UMass was too busy harassing Ed for complaining about incompetent supervision of contractors to bother dealing with this. Harassing me was more important than doing their jobs.

    Johanne Thomas Vanin, you have an awful lot to answer for in this…

    And Roy Ribizky, I don’t know where you keep your wallet, but mine is in my BACK pocket. And we do have the ability to end this sort of stuff by asking some very tough questions when UM asks us to donate…


  2. Ed on March 2nd, 2010 11:41 am

    > perp who is not guilty but confessed.

    Should be: “…perp who is not ONLY guilty but ALSO confessed.”

    Amazing how a few modifiers change the meaning of a sentence, isn’t it…..


  3. Brendan on March 2nd, 2010 5:15 pm

    Towards the end of your article your argument detriorates and your numbers don’t add up. The fact that this rapist was allowed to stay is despicable, I agree. Joann Vanin really dropped the ball. And your points about the judiciary are spot on. But you say “1 in 4 women will be “sexually assaulted, raped, or harassed.” These are VERY DIFFERENT! Putting rape and harassment in the same category is like putting murder and petty theft into the same field. Your comparing apples and oranges Roy. The legal definition of rape also needs to be updated. Does it not discredit the true rape victims when some drunk chick with regrets from last night decides to change her mind? This is why we ask these questions Roy. Not all men are guilty. Think about innocent men who have been accused by women in the past and had their lives ruined. Ever heard of the Duke Lacrosse guys?


  4. Michael on March 2nd, 2010 9:34 pm

    Hey, maybe we should let women defend themselves. Our female students can’t even carry pepper spray on campus. We have a great campus police department but it is impossible for them to be everywhere at once. Let’s stop stomping all over womens’ or anyone’s for that matter right to self defense.


  5. Roy on March 2nd, 2010 11:50 pm

    Ed, I would just like to say thank you for bringing up a good point about UMass taking the matter into their own hands when victims withdraw from proceeding. It is vital that the victim’s identity, story, and recovery process be protected and that nothing should be done to deepen the victim’s pain. However, if you notice the statistics, many women get raped, but few men rape. That means that most rapists repeat their crimes. So by keeping those men on campus, we are thereby endangering other women. It may be said that for that very reason why schools do not take these matters into their own hands is an additional reason why so many women are victimized. But your point is absolutely correct in that the victims should be supported by the Everywoman’s Center, UMass, and the friends in their lives. Rape does not affect a single individual, it affects all of us.

    As for your concern Michael, I think your statement is empowering for women. But handing them pepper spray will not solve the solution. A common rape myth is that most rapes occur when a stranger pops out of a dark alley, grabs a woman, and rapes her. In fact, most rapes are date rapes; meaning, most women know who the man is. They may not be out right friends, but merely acquaintances. I read in numerous studies that over 70% of rapes are date rapes, but I cannot recall the exact studies. The point remains the same: a woman is less likely to pull out pepper spray and use it if she is intoxicated and partying with friends she’s been hanging out with than when a total stranger comes up from behind her. And “right to self-defense” is a lot easier said than done. We all have rights, but every three minutes in America a woman is harassed, assaulted, and or raped (you can find these stats on; those rights to freedom and defense seem to violated all the time, which calls for stricter policies to empower women to be able to defend themselves – which, thanks to feminist movement, women have gotten much stronger – but, ultimately, it is men who are doing the most raping. And let’s be honest, a 130 pound female student versus a 250, 6ft-1 male may make it harder for the woman to defend herself, no matter the tools she may have on her. Our goals should be to PREVENT rape, rather than pick up the pieces.

    I do not want to assume anything, but it sounds like both of you would obviously want to see and end to rape like me. So keeping that in mind, we should try not to overly criticize each other, or call ideas stupid, or simply pass on the work to somebody else. We all want the same thing, so let’s work towards that. My article was targeted towards men because I believe that until we get men on the same page, these things will still go on. It is obviously a long, arduous, and controversial (but not really) way to think about these issues, but my work lies in educating men.

    And on that note, and this will be my last point, is in response to Ed’s comments about the e-mails. Yes, most men who rape know exactly what they are doing is illegal. But there are in fact some gray areas that men may not know about. As an example, if the guy is drinking and is just as intoxicated as the woman (and this applies to homosexual relationships as well) and they have sex, legally, he raped her because she could not give consent. But many men may not know that. My e-mail example was more of a way to show how we rarely talk about this stuff, but we get bombarded with e-mails about fire safety (which, of course, is important) and lesser important housing issues. I’m calling for more balance. It is a difficult subject to talk about, of course, but it is a conversation and a dialogue we absolutely have to have.


  6. Brandon on March 3rd, 2010 2:46 am

    “. But there are in fact some gray areas that men may not know about. As an example, if the guy is drinking and is just as intoxicated as the woman (and this applies to homosexual relationships as well) and they have sex, legally, he raped her because she could not give consent.”

    Given a circumstance where two members are heavily intoxicated and engage in sexual intercourse, who here is the responsible adult? I can understand, from a statistical point of view, it is easy to lump men generally victimizing women, but on a number of occasions I have seen intoxicated females be just as openly promiscuous with males. Both individuals are responsible, and it is not always the male perpetrating the act. So I just don’t understand how a male legally raped a female, despite lack of sober consent between both parties in the circumstance where it’s the other way around.


  7. Roy on March 3rd, 2010 1:26 pm

    In any case, if there is any confusion, that is probably a good sign to stop what you are doing. They don’t call it gray areas for no reason so yes, your question is a common one. I admit I was not as clear in my example and it definitely was not the best one I could have used. Biologically, however, even if a man and a woman have the same amount of alcohol, it is safe to say that generally the woman will be more drunk than the guy just because of average body size.

    What I wrote about and want to talk about, however, are not necessarily about those gray areas. What we need to talk about are the ways in which those few individuals conscientiously take away a woman’s choice.

    I want to quickly bring up a comment that you made Brandon about females being openly promiscuous with males. Of course that happens, women are sexual beings just like we men are. But when you read case studies and defense statements, what are the common themes we read about when a man chooses to rape a woman? They go along the lines of: “she was asking for it,” “she was flirting all night with me,” “she was putting her arms around me so she obviously wanted sex,” and from there on out gets totally misogynistic. Do you see where I am coming from? What I got from your question is that if a woman is being openly promiscuous, then she deserves it? Or wants it? Why is it that we men always try to find excuses for sex. I flirt with women sometimes, so does that mean I want to have sex right there and then? Of course not. And, because I am a man, no one will assume that. But when a woman does the same thing, everyone assumes she wants to have sex and/or is a slut. but your questions Brandon are very good ones and I am glad that you are willing to ask them in a public arena – it is a very good thing.

    I think now would be a good time to say that there are many resources available on campus for anyone that has questions about this sort of stuff. Of course, there are professionals at the Everywoman’s Center who can answer any questions you have – especially for men, so don’t think that it is only a “woman’s center” it is here for all of us. And more than that, there are many health educators in the Public Health Department who can provide feedback and education to anyone who wants to learn more. This is an ongoing process and cannot be studied in one article so please, if you have any questions, feel free to use the resources on campus we have. But thank you all for your feedback and questions, there were all really good.


  8. Brian on March 3rd, 2010 9:10 pm

    First of all I think the message of the article is a good one. Obviously the prevention of rape is key in creating a safe community within our college envrionment. However I think this article targeting men is extremely offensive and in several parts incorrect.

    Like Brandon stated before, your statistic reguarding that “one in four women will be sexually assulted, or harrassed” is extremely leading. Not only is there a big difference in being sexually assulted or harassed, but I find it hard to believe that since so many rapes go unreported, you still seem to know how many there are. Thats like quoting the famous campus poster (in going along with you comparing suspension from school with alcohol v. rape) “three out of four students respect the campus drinking policy” I’m pretty sure no one asked me that question. So just how aware are you of your facts?

    Furthermore I found it embarrassing that you expected a rape clause to be in the student handbook. The policies listed in the handbook are campus issues and do no extend out to governmental laws, let alone the worst crimes “malum in se” (bad in itself). Do we also have to be reminded not to kill people or steal automobiles? I feel if every law was placed into the handbook, not only would that be a waste of paper, but it wouldn’t do much for the community.

    The point is also brought up that we should have the right to press charges against rapists even when their victims choose not to. I don’t think making the victim relive the rape and trauma is the best solution. Also although it IS a lot more uncommon, there are also females who use rape as excuse for regretted sex. Maybe an article should be written on men avoiding getting false rape charges against them.

    I’m also pretty sure that the people who are beautifying southwest are hardly in charge of dealing with rape cases, so maybe you should look at our budget and who handles it. Do you think we should cut every type of funding in order to deal with these rapists? I think your argument that were more concerned with scenery over rape is absurd, and biased off this one unfortunate incident.

    My last point, reguarding your article is your derranged stereotype of men, especially at this campus. Yes, the masculinity empowerment statement is still running through some heads at this campus, yet for the most part I know plenty of males who express feelings, and talk about things. Maybe you are just surrounding yourself around insecure people, but do not generalize our male campus population as “immoral” and “unsympathetic”.

    Overall your article has good intent (i’m NOT pro-rape), just crappy reasoning. And I still don’t see any practical solutions but rather a lot of complaining. But yes, next time I go into the bathroom I’ll think about it if you want me to.


  9. Jimbo on March 3rd, 2010 10:35 pm

    I think we must face the facts: women who get raped on college campuses take the first step in endangering themselves by a.) going to out of control parties, b.) drinking, c.) being around guys who are drinking, d.) being alone, e.) using poor judgment in thinking they can control the situation


  10. Tom on March 3rd, 2010 11:51 pm

    Jimbo, thanks for bringing really overt victim blaming into this conversation. And since you are up on “the facts” then I am guessing you have read a lot of the literature about perpetration of rape and are aware that in many cases, this crime is quite a predatory act. Men who rape tend to be repeat offenders. Of course there are cases that fall into the “gray area” but that is not the majority experience. So the victim blaming serves to encourage the predators. Thanks. Next time you see some not so drunk guy targeting (yes I chose that word deliberately) a very drunk woman, you can make a choice. You can think “That woman is endangering herself, but it’s none of my business, so I will just collude with a potential rape” or you can take some responsibility for the kind of community in which you live and doing something.

    As for the accuracy of statistics, there is study after study, more than 20 years worth, that support the numbers Roy quotes, including from the FBI and CDC, which in my book are fairly reputable sources.


  11. abyss2hope on March 4th, 2010 12:51 am

    Roy, thank you for highlighting the fact that men can help prevent rape.

    Brandon, I disagree with you that the legal definition of rape needs to be updated. When you write “some drunk chick with regrets from last night decides to change her mind” you are making a mass allegation which positions all reported rapes of women who were drunk to be false reports. For your allegation to be possibly true then women’s drunkenness must protect women from rapists.

    Jimbo, what you claim to be facts are no such thing. Those who take the first step to endangering women through rape on college campuses are the rapists. The first step to endangering women on college campuses using your example would be a) hosting an out of control party b) viewing drinking as a valid substitute for legal consent c) guys drinking who do not sequester themselves from women to protect themselves from committing rape d) targetting those who are alone e) using poor judgment in thinking they have a right to control or exploit the situation.


  12. Ed on March 4th, 2010 9:22 am

    A few years back, there was a guy wandering around Southwest, checking to see if room doors were locked, and if not, climbing into bed with assorted sleeping women. Who inevitably woke up screaming at which point he fled and as this was before the cameras and facial recognization from student IDs, no one knew who he was.

    And this had been going on for months, and I quietly asked “can’t you just tell the girls to lock their doors at night?” No, I was told, because the EWC and others would be upset. “But, I replied, if you could just get the kids to lock the damn doors, this would end.”

    Politics over practicality.

    I have looked into the eyes of a rape victim and given a very clear message: “I am not going to hurt you.” This is something that gets lost in the mantra of feminism and political correctness – we are dealing with human beings and unless we want them on the 5th Floor of CDH or the morgue, we need to remember that. One may make strongly worded suggestions, and I have, but if you have ever looked into the frightened eyes of a traumatized victim, you will understand that there are certain things that you simply can not do.

    Now as to rape on campus – and I am cringing at how inaccurate my data sample is on this – but I am not aware of a single case of stranger rape actually occurring on campus. There were quite a few alleged a decade ago, but they were all hoaxes.

    As to the 1:4 statistic, that is totally bogus. Ron Paul winning the CPAC straw poll is a similar situation and it is something called self-selection.

    In the case of the 1:4 statistic, it was a survey printed in _Ms_ magazine, which encouraged readers to fill out the survey and mail it in. First, the population of women who read _Ms_ magazine is not reflective of the total female population and second the process of finding an envelope, finding a stamp and mailing it in self-selected those who felt strongest about rape. I.e. victims.

    So, hypothetically, you have 100 women reading the magazine, and they only represent, say, a tenth of the female population in general. And of these 100 women, one has been raped. And four fill out the survey & mail it in — including the one victim who feels strongly about this. And you get a 1:4 statistic when your actual statistic is 1:00

    Lets take the issue of campus sexual assault statistics. Neither EWC nor Death Services share names so if you have one victim, who is referred to both EWC and UHS (and does) showing up as three victims in the total count. Possibly four. And this is why you have to read the CLEARY stats carefully as they just add up all the numbers of each agency without any cross-referencing. I was at the meeting when this was decided as policy, it made sense then, I am not sure it still does now.

    And if you want to talk about men preventing rape, there is one other thing we can do. We have all been there, a female friend or acquaintance has had a few too many drinks and is starting to fall out of her dress. What gentlemen do is to politely suggest that perhaps she has had a bit more to drink than prudent and perhaps it is time for her to go home. And you make sure that she gets home safely, probably going with her if need be.

    Sexist? Absolutely. But it still is what gentlemen do, and it does prevent rape…


  13. Brandon on March 4th, 2010 3:24 pm


    “Brandon, I disagree with you that the legal definition of rape needs to be updated.”

    I never said it needed to be “updated.”

    “When you write “some drunk chick with regrets from last night decides to change her mind” you are making a mass allegation which positions all reported rapes of women who were drunk to be false reports.”

    Strawman, this was never my argument. Where did I specifically imply this? I wasn’t even making a reference to reported rapes of women who were drunk.

    “For your allegation to be possibly true then women’s drunkenness must protect women from rapists.”

    Do you mean my mock scenario, which had *nothing* to do with this allegation, or the strawman you attacked instead of my hypothetical situation?

    I find the language you propose to be extraordinarily bias and loaded. What that last sentence seems to suggest is absurd. By protecting every possibile situation that you can imagine from a woman’s decision to get drunk and expose herself to a sexually promisicuous atmosphere, no, I’m not sorry that I can’t agree with you there. I don’t agree that all situations should be evaluated with the same backward logic as “drunk + girl = rape.” In most reported circumstances, yes, this is generally true, but I’m being nitpicky; I’m referring to a hypothetical scenario which is uncommon, but have no doubt occurs. You cannot strip the responsibility of one individual’s actions and burden them onto the male’s. Especially if both members are intoxicated (assume the same level), both individuals seek out, say a frat party, where it is common knowledge to be a sexually promiscuous atmosphere. I’m not talking about an example where it’s clear a male is hounding a female for her attention, but a mutual interest that leads to “one thing or another” (which won’t even be reported as a rape to begin with). I am contending it is wrong to call such a scenario “legal rape” and on the sole responsibility of the male.


  14. Lauren on March 4th, 2010 5:48 pm

    “Furthermore I found it embarrassing that you expected a rape clause to be in the student handbook.”

    I find it embarrassing that a confessed rapist was not expelled from the school.


  15. Jimbo on March 4th, 2010 10:28 pm

    Abyss- “guys should sequester themselves from girls to prevent from raping them?” Preposterous. The vulgar coyness which girls of this generation give off is enough to make any rapist squeal with delight.


  16. abyss2hope on March 7th, 2010 7:07 pm

    Brandon wrote: “I’m not talking about an example where it’s clear a male is hounding a female for her attention, but a mutual interest that leads to “one thing or another” (which won’t even be reported as a rape to begin with). I am contending it is wrong to call such a scenario “legal rape” and on the sole responsibility of the male.”

    Prior mutual interest is not consent to sexual actions and if you or other guys are using this as your definition of legal consent you may find yourself facing rightful allegations of rape. Women can consent to pay attention to you while not consenting to particular sexual actions with you. “One thing leads to another” is so vague that it could describe a man raping a woman after she’s incapacitated which is legal rape.


  17. abyss2hope on March 7th, 2010 7:31 pm

    Ed wrote: “I have looked into the eyes of a rape victim and given a very clear message: “I am not going to hurt you.” This is something that gets lost in the mantra of feminism and political correctness – we are dealing with human beings and unless we want them on the 5th Floor of CDH or the morgue, we need to remember that.”

    I have been a rape victim and I have been at the hospital looking into the eyes of other rape victims before and after forensic exams. I’ve been with them when they reported to law enforcement. I’ve talked to a rape victim who was left for dead. I’ve had a rapist tell me exactly why he raped me. So I’m not buying your accusation against me and many others who know firsthand what it means to be victims of sexual violence.

    Many people who claim to want to prevent rape as they focus on the actions of girls and women sound like they are channelling my rapist. They may mean to be helpful, but they are failing at making a meaningful difference.

    The problem when you have a rapist prowling a college campus is that rapist and the college’s response. The problem is not unlocked doors. All students should have been notified about a criminal on the loose with full details on his MO. This could have been done without lecturing female students about their responsibilities.

    Your solution does nothing to stem the flow of wannabe rapists and does nothing to directly deal with the actions of current rapists. The messages rapists get from lectures given to girls and women is as Jimbo expresses it, “… to make any rapist squeal with delight.”


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