Dear Sophie,

Is it legal to watch porn using the campus internet?

If it wasn’t, probably 95% of the students on campus would be under arrest, but I did a little research for you anyway. As far as I can make out, anything legal in general is still legal using the campus internet. So feel free to watch porn, just don’t watch kiddie porn or anything that’s illegal under any circumstances.

Also, I wouldn’t recommend watching porn in class, but aside from that, feel free to carry on.

Dear Sophie,

My girlfriend spits and doesn’t swallow. All of my past girlfriends swallowed and I found it incredibly erotic. Is there an argument I could make for her to start swallowing my load or should I just dump her?

Jesus. Does the state of your relationship seriously depend on your girlfriend’s oral sex techniques? No, there is no argument you can make. If you have to argue someone into any kind of sexual act, I can promise you that it will be in no way erotic. A respectful and caring person might say, “Hey, it would really, really turn me on if you swallowed instead of spitting. I know it’s not your thing, but is there anything I can do to make that happen? Can I set up a toothbrush and toothpaste by the bed so you can get rid of the taste right afterwards? Can I do that roleplay with you that you always really wanted?”

But if you’re seriously willing to dump your girlfriend over this, then you should—because she deserves someone who cares about her and not just her blowjobs.

Got a problem of your own? Tell me about it at my Formspring.