Another day, another whiny blog post. Let’s dive right into things, shall we?

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been hearing a lot about some sort of ruckus concerning the legitimacy behind the whole body-double situation in “Black Swan.” Natalie Portman’s backup dancer, Sarah Lane, is complaining that there’s a conspiracy amongst the cast and crew to hype up how much dancing Portman did; Lane claims she did much more dancing that Natalie Portman, and just isn’t getting the credit. She also states that she was instructed not to discuss whatever she was working on so that Natalie would get credit for being “some kind of prodigy” who had learned all her dance moves in a year and a half. Apparently, a lot of people are agreeing with what Lane as to say- that Natalie couldn’t have learned so much ballet in such little time.

First off, as usual, this is a dumb argument. I don’t think anyone’s going to try and convince people that the filmmakers were intent on creating a ballet masterpiece. Instead, what they were going for was more drama-artsy, and as far as feedback for the movie goes, this was definitely accomplished. Second off, should Lane get more credit? I don’t really think so. Body doubles and backup dancers have been used so frequently in movies that they should probably know what to expect by now, and I think the emphasis on Portman’s dancing was an important element to the marketing of the film. No one can look at her and Mila Kunis and say they didn’t work hard to at least attempt to mimic the real deal, if not fully execute it. And ultimately, if Lane thinks her contract was violated or her rights were infringed, that’s an issue she should take up with the company, not the media (of course, as someone who took ballet lessons until the age of nine and despised every minute of it, I could be biased. I mean, seriously, seriously, I am not the kind of girl you’d want to see in a tutu). Now Kunis and Darren Aronofsky, the director of the film, are coming out and defending Natalie, which is cool, I guess, but to be honest I think this entire thing is going to blow over once Natalie and Mila realize how similar their recent movies are (“No Strings Attached” and “Friends with Benefits”) and start a catfight on the red carpet (maybe).

An even more obnoxious story got attention this week, and it revolves around the living train wreck I like to call Jenelle Evans, one of the “stars” of MTV’s “Teen Mom 2.” Honestly, I’ve followed this show as much as any self-respecting intellectual can, which means I can stomach about two minutes of every episode before switching the channel to something less repulsive. Jenelle is one of those people who you can judge correctly after a two second glance-over; in the show, everything about her cranky facial expressions, whiny voice, snarky comments and total disregard for her child tells you that this is someone who should never be put in the spotlight. Just this week, she was surprisingly filmed beating the ever-loving you-know-what out of some girl named Brittany, and as someone who took it upon themselves to watch the footage, it’s pretty disturbing.

This brings me to my main point: why exactly is this girl famous? She’s not smarter than me, she’s obviously not more responsible (later in the show she steals her mom’s credit card to go on a road trip with her current boyfriend), she provides no emotional or situational depth to the show and she really just screams “Moooo-o-om!” for the duration of her segments on the show. So what the hell? Anywho, Jenelle is being charged with simple affray and simple assault and I’m going to try and get the judge to slap a couple more years onto any sentence she gets for having way too strong of a Southern accent (although of course nothing will really happen to her because her strong, inspirational presence is needed on such a fine, upstanding, educational production as ‘Teen Mom 2”). That’s about as much news as I can stomach for one week.