The world was recently rife with celebrity drama. One of the juicier stories occurred after a “Good Morning America” interview with Chris Brown. Chris, a hip hop star, got a pretty bad (albeit fully deserved) reputation a few years ago after beating up his then-girlfriend, Rihanna. He’s apologized a few times and sincerely believes that we should all forget about the incident, which is a ridiculous demand because a) Why would you forgive or support someone who has been involved in blatant domestic abuse and b.) Chris keeps doing really weird stuff that only hints at the fact that he probably has much deeper, underlying psychological issues. What stuff, you ask? Take the recent “Good Morning America” interview Chris was in. When asked questions about Rihanna, Chris began to tense up on screen; off screen, he was a lot tenser. He tore his shirt off, screamed and yelled and reportedly broke a window (I guess you could say he was way past ‘tense’ at this point). He then tweeted about the whole thing for, like, a full two days. The worst part of this story is, celebrities pre-approve the questions they are asked in interviews. If you didn’t know this, it should have been pretty obvious but I’ll forgive you because they do a great job of pretending like they don’t know what’s coming. Some, like Chris Brown, take it a little too far and that joke would be funnier if anything he had done was satirical. Unfortunately, it was all one hundred percent real, and the only thing I can conclude from this story is that Chris Brown is a really, really awful, overdramatic individual.

Another ‘celebrity’ who saw their earth shatter recently was Rebecca Black and her artistically-directed masterpiece that helped people all over the world learn the days of the week (finally! I just couldn’t find a cheap calendar anywhere!). Rebecca’s video was created by Ark Music Factory, which basically churns out music videos featuring young wannabe-famous tweens for a price. After careful investigation (eh….I went to the website and made fun of all the videos on it), I was able to conclude that Rebecca Black’s video was definitely the worst, but not by much, which is a very depressing fact indeed. I mean, these videos are really, really bad. I did feel very proud of myself for realizing that the rapper in “Friday” (Black’s music video) is featured in almost every other Ark video; his segment in each is so bad that you can’t help but dread the second the camera pans over to him. Anyway, Rebecca’s video went viral last week, and hundreds of hilarious parodies, remixes and memes blossomed like flowers in spring; awesomely enough, they were all pretty funny, too. Truth be told, Rebecca Black’s “Friday” is pretty catchy, but its lyrics indicate so strongly that their writer was practically brain-dead when it comes to original concepts in music that you just can’t help but shudder as Rebecca repeats line after line like a dying robot. Plus, every screen from the video looks like it was edited in Picnik. Rebecca is now claiming that she’s being cyberbullied by people who hate her song. Although I take bullying pretty seriously, I don’t care when rich, over hyped American children who have been handed fame on a golden platter whine about criticism from the masses. If Rebecca didn’t want any sort of fame, she wouldn’t have participated in this video, and if she doesn’t want to deal with cyberbullying, maybe she shouldn’t read the jokes people are making about the entire ordeal. When you decide to put yourself in the spotlight, you deal with the consequences. I mean, can we really compare her situation to that of a teenager being bullied on Facebook, AIM, or through texts for having a certain sexual orientation or looking a certain way? No. So let’s stop right there.